How should I feel?
My daughters told me that their mom had them get her live-in boyfriend Father's Day cards and gifts.
This is the man my wife of 17 years left me for,
her co-worker (what are odds of that?!)
He doesn't have any kids of his own.
If she is still trying to hurt me, she is doing a good job.
How much should this bother me?
Right now it is a lot.

Ugggggg !!! Of course it is going to bother you - but it also must be bothering the children if they told you ... And you said that she "had" them get - it doesn't sound like it was their idea..... But you know what it is a situation that you have no control over and therefore - it is gonna hurt you - but it is only gonna hurt you .... And if you don't let it bother you for long it will go away... See I know telling someone not to let something bother them is easier said than done..Believe me I do it all of the time most of the times I find I am my own worst enemy - getting myself all upset - and it isn't doing me any good... So though the thoughts of it suck... Just let it go - and file it away with the other stupid things that your exwife has done or is surely to do in the future...... OK???

Ouch….that is rough… I feel for you man, I really do. I can also see my STBXWW doing the exact same thing. You know what though… even though it is eat’n at you right now; I think the appropriate reaction to this is to laugh at it. Now obviously… easier said than done…and not at all the natural reaction… but think about it for a second. It is a total fraud. You know it, I know it, you kids obviously know it… and guess what, your WW and OM know it too. What a joke, he is neither A) a dad, or B) the father of your kids. So… other than trying to lend some legitimacy to the relationship, and/or trying to make him feel better at your expense… what in the hell was the point of her doing that???? There isn’t one…in time I think you will look back and shake your head and laugh at this. But for now, trust me… I know it hurts like hell. Hang in there; your kids see it for what it is… I can assure you that. Take care and good luck!


BTW, I responded to the email you sent me a few weeks ago, did you get it? I haven’t seen you around lately.

As Ralph Kramden would say "Har har hardy har har"........there how is that for laughing

I hadn't posted for a while, yes I did get your e mail, I will e mail in the future.........

Happy Father's Day....to all the fathers

Good Day to the rest of you

Oh hey... one other thing (again easier said than done)... if you can at all help it, don't give your WW the pleasure of seeing it bother you. Don't blow up at her, don't even mention it to her. You will come out light years ahead if she never even knows that you know. Trust me on this one... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />


...and a Happy Fathers Day to you sir.

<small>[ June 17, 2004, 01:15 PM: Message edited by: Want My Wife Back??? ]</small>

dup. sorry

<small>[ June 17, 2004, 01:49 PM: Message edited by: greengables ]</small>

I doubt she did in to hurt you, but rather to make nicey-nice, and play family. My children have been asked to call my dad's wife's children "Aunt" and "Unlce." Well, I was 22 before I met this two people. The "Uncle" is closer in age to my girls than to me and he's not even 18 yet.

Meanwhile, we are to prentend we're a family. We're not a family. We're much more like in-laws. Two distict families who have members who married each other.

Basically, this man, should your x marry him, may be the children's step-father. And he may even come to be a caring positive force in their life. But he'll never be you. And he'll never take your place.

And forcing the issue always backfires and builds resentment. Always.

Happy Father's Day to all the great, caring dads out there.

I agree with everything already said and I hope you can at some point can laugh this off. However, I know firsthand how this feels as I have had the same thing happen to me and it really stinks.

You have to let it go though as everyone has already said because you are their dad and nothing can change that and nobody can replace that and nobody but affair crazed people would ever try to do it. Chalk it up to a pathetic attempt by them to set up their "happy" family and trust in what Greengables says when she tells you that forcing the issue always backfires. I have seen it personally and though it is never as grand a gesture as I would hope things have definately backfired.

Have a wonderful Father's Day, Dad!

Take care and God bless!
K

I also agree with all already said And I don't know what I would do if it ever happens to me.

But how about putting a little spin on it to help cheer yourself up about it. Why don't you make one for him too and slip it in with your kids!

I know thats wrong and anti MB, but it sounds like fun!

WIWH