I am new to this forum but I have to ask this question. Is it wrong or sinful if I masturbate in front of my husband and for him only? I have done that a few times. I have never masturbate when I'm alone, only when I'm in bed with my husband. Could someone please clarify that for me? Thanks.

You go girl! In my opinion, it is totally okay. If it gives you and your husband pleasure together, you are strengthening your marriage. And that is the opposite of sin. You are caring for your husband.It's a creative way to come together sexually in your marriage. If you enjoy it, and your husband does too- there is nothing wrong.
the saddest thing is when two people can't come together sexually because of rigid preconceptions- that the woman always has to orgasm, or must orgasm during intercourse, or must do it missionary style or whatever. These kinds of preconceptions can destroy a marriage.
Yes, there are some sexual activities that I think are wrong- activities where there is a high risk of pain, or harm to the marriage. I'm talking about the really kinky stuff- threesomes, or intense sado-masochistic stuff. I think that most of the heterosexual stuff that goes on in a bedroom between a couple is A-OK if both are having a good time.

I totally agree with what espoir put in there answer to you.

I think about the only thing that is forbidden is anal sex. <p>I also think if you are having problems 'getting together' sexually, it is better to take care of yourself than to go outside the marriage for fulfillment. <p>God realizes that sex is a natural, healthy need...in fact, in my religion, it is said that once you are married, you have completed half of your religion.

I come from a very conservative and strict family. And as a young man I had a great interest in this question. In 42 years I have never found any scripture against masturbation. The old story that mothers used to tell about masturbation being a sin was shakily probed on the scripture about God striking down the man that "spilled his seed". But if you read the whole scripture instead of quoting the one verse out of context you find that God had instructed the man to obey Jewish law, and since his brother was not capeable of geting his wife pregnant, he should fill in for him and mate with his sisterinlaw. The man wouldnt until God stepped in and told him to, he "layed with her" and apearantly pulled it out at the last moment,and "spilled his seed", which was disobedient to God. So the question of masturbation never was an issue. But used to be mothers thought that if they let their sons do that they would surely grow up to be sex fiends.
Oh the other hand D.Claire Hutchins in her book "5 Minutes to Orgasm Everytime you make love" advocates masturbation as a learning technique and self stimulation during intercourse as almost a neccesaty for women to have orgasm in less than 15 to 30 minutes. Good book, inexpensive, very inlightning. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

PS I never had the nerve to ask the preacher about anal sex, where in the Bible is that outlawed??

well, I'm not sure about in the Bible (I'm Muslim and it is STRICTLY forbidden--stating that "a man shall not enter Heaven who takes a woman from behind")...however, taken that 'sodomy' is defined as copulation with a member of the same sex or with an animalornoncoital and especially anal or oral copulation with a member of the opposite sexand that sodomy is generally accepted as being anal intercourse, the destruction of the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah indicates to me that anal intercourse is one of the activities of debauchery that contributed to the destruction...among many other things, of course.<p>Of course, this definition would also prohibit oral sex. <p>Anybody else has some Biblical/Scriptural insight on this topic?? I am curious, as well.<p>[ April 06, 2002: Message edited by: diddallas ]</p>

bah humbug! I prefer those that interpret certain passages ( which I of course cant recall at the moment) that when two are married there is nothing they can do (sexualy) in love that is wrong. Not that we have ever done much of that. Now I have to dig out Bible works and get to work.

It seems from this and your post on oral sex that you are really questioning, and that is good! I answered the other post saying that I am a father of 5, and my W and I are both Christians. We use masturbation like you described regularly as part of our intimate times together. Sometimes I just cannot get it right for my W, so I fondle her breasts or her G-spot while she does herself. May times she will do this while I am inside her with her on top. There are times when she is sexually needy and I am not there, so she will masturbate while thinking of me. I am saying all this to let you know that as a Christian you can use masturbation as a gift from God both in your times of intimacy and, when necessary, when you cannot be alone. The problem is not masturbation, but thoughts for someone other than your spouse - that is wrong. Here is a great link to see more about this topic: http://www.themarriagebed.com

I would agree with diddallas that anal sex is not okay, although that is my own personal opinion. Because there is a high risk of pain. There's too much bacteria, it's dirty, and there's a risk of infection, anal fissures and hemorrhoids.

Nothing you do between the two of you in bed is wrong. You're married and you love each other. Good sex to YOUR liking, not according to some set of rules, is the thing that binds you together and brings you closer to God.