Haven't posted for long time, but it seems divorce irritations just never end, and I'm just looking for opinions.
Quick update--been divorced for almost 7 yrs,after a 29 yr marriage, and ex is still living with OW he left me for. Last yr, they actually bought a home one mile from me. No marriage plans that I am aware of. ex and I have gone through the typical divorce cycle--hating and arguing, to trying to be friends, to cooperative parents, although all the children are grown now.
Last Oct. he made the comment to me that if he had to do it all over again, we would have worked on the marriage. I replied that there was always a chance we could work on it as long as neither of us had remarried. Next day, he leaves a voicemail stating that although he and OW have had some problems he wants to try and work things out with her. Of course, that made me furious and I told him I didn't want to speak with him again unless it concerned our children. Up until May, I didn't hear from him except for 2 emails concerning our daughters upcoming marriage.
Daughter got married in May. ex and I are cordial,he even brought me a glass of wine, and put his arm around my waist for one of the pictures although he didn't need to.He also is very much aware that I never wanted the divorce and how sensitive I am about the OW.
He took many pics at wedding and offered to send me a CD that he would make from all the pictures--both of our grandchildren were there and of course I said I would very much like that, especially ones with our daughter, and some of the grandkids.
I get the CD this week and included are at least 6-7 pics of the OW, some with my grandchild, some of her posing with my daughter, one of her with my favorite ex-sister in law, and of course, one of her posing with my ex!! Is it me, or do the wayward people just don't get it??? He did not have to include those photos as he made the disc himself!! Even my son thought it was a little rude. My daughter responded with anger and said it was time I get over all of this and move on--this from the same child who had to be in counseling for over a yr due to the divorce, and who hated this OW!!
IS this normal behavior or am I just over reacting??? I thought it was very insensitive, although maybe it is paybacks for some of the awful things I've said to him since the divorce.

I forgot to add that the pics of the OW were not just from the actual wedding. They were different pics from their week of vacation spent at the relatives house during the wedding week.

I have several thoughts:

As far as the CD and pictures, since it's a read/write CD, it should be easy to edit out the pictures you don't want. If you can't do it yourself, you can take it to a camera shop. If all else fails, you or they can copy the pictures you do want onto a new CD.

Your XH is playing an interesting game, but you don't have to play along with him. I'm sure it's very flattering to him to think that he can have you back any time he wants, while still being involved with the OW. So apparently he does or says something to get a response from you that indicates there are still feelings, then becomes all coy and says or does something to indicate his heart belongs to the OW. It's cruel of him to do this (although my hunch is, he isn't being deliberately cruel, just unconscious). I'm sure it hurts like fire, but it is so subtle, it's hard to get other people to see what is going on, so you will look oversensitive if you complain, I'm afraid, especially if you complain to your kids, who probably just want to be kept out of the middle of things. I suspect the best response when he says stuff like, "if he had to do it all over again, we would have worked on the marriage" is a neutral "oh, really?" and a quick change of subject.

As for your daughter, I suspect she feels like she is being asked to choose you over her Dad whenever you complain about him. I don't think that's your intent, but I think that's the effect. IMO, you would do better to take any complaints directly to him and not say anything to her about them. It is not uncommon for kids to be very protective of parents who have disappointed them, so I don't find her response at all puzzling.

Thank you for your comments. It does seem like a game sometimes, and at my expense. I guess as long as he is not married to OW, my heart still thinks there may be a chance. Then my brain kicks in and says that it has been 7 yrs and he ain't back yet, so get over him and move on. However, the little games always reignite my hope.
I will be more careful when it comes to the kids. I think my sarcastic comment, "I think it wasn't necessary for him to have included pics of his beloved", is what got my daughter upset.
Thanks for responding.