Sorry to ask but I'm at my wits end. Marriage Builders was so wonderful for me during the hopeful first months of my separation 3 yrs ago, supportive through the vents and anger of the divorce (final in 02) and also helped me to celebrate the good things about the person that I became through the whole horrible process.
I honestly trust the majority of the MB priniciples whole=heartedly and this forum was a God-send and I still give thanks for all those who helped and listened.
Now, I am having a similar crisis at work but in reality it boils down to having people that I love, trust and have personally sacrified for to turn their back on me. I can't trust anyone. No one cares about anything but themselves and how things affect them. Sure, that has to be a primary concern for everyone and that's not the issue.
The issue is that every time I think I can reach out and form a bit of faith in someone and try to trust them again, they let me down. Yes, I know I should never put my faith in mankind and I know that God will never forsake me, but it seems like lately everyone that I care the most about is hurting me most.
My question is this... Does anyone know of a support board/forum that deals with how to be a better manager. Manager builders, so to speak.. I have tried for many years to work myself to death to build up a company that I was proud of and that people would be proud to work for. 2 and a half years ago, we were sold to a large corporation and I have held my head high and have done my best to be a positive example. I don't scream and yell at people but I also don't douse them with sugar and honey just for showing up. I run an employee benefits office, not a childcare center. It's my job to make sure the work gets done, that the people are properly trained and that our clients get great service. We do a great job administering the employee benefit programs of companies and I'm proud of that. It is not my job to babysit, play favorites, be politically correct 100% of the time, or never show any emotion about getting a job done. 4 years ago we lost 5 managers on one day due to a walk-out to a local competitor who made excellent pay offers if the people refused to work notice. ever since then, I've tried to do the work of those people as well as train others to move up within the company and take some chances.
Anyway, I'm really sorry about this. I know I should stick to the topic of Marriage Building but in a way, I need support about how to trust people again, how to deal with people who you are angry with in a positive manner, and how to communicate properly.
I have a bach. degree in Financial Management and 16 years fulltime experience with the same company. My skills or knowledge is not in question here. What is in question is how I deal with my people. If I try to get their opinions they think I'm incapable of making a decision. If I made a decision they say I failed to think it through. People who I loved dearly have left the company recently and have told HR that they had conflict working with me. Funny but they never told me. I had real flash backs to when my ex just threw in the towel and said I'm done and I never really thought there was a problem. I was blindsided once again by someone I loved, trusted and believed in.
I just don't know. I know there are plenty of opportunites for improvement in my life, just as there were in my marriage. The problem is that I don't know what my co-workers emotional needs are and they will not share them.
Does anybody work in a predominantly female office that can offer any forums or groups? I've read all I know how to read, attended management seminars, etc and have tried to be positive. I just don't know what to do . I don;t trust anyone anymore. I can't build trust with people because i don't know if they hear what I'm actually saying or if I'm saying the wrong things.
Bottom line....every one who I have ever loved and considered a friend has lied to me, done something selfish to enhance themselves while bringing me down, and has hurt me.
I'm tired of hurting.... I lost my husband to another women while I was working on building the best staff at work, I lost that staff due to a stupid rumor and fear, I lost my Dad who retired from the company when he kept seeing nothing was working, and now I've lost trust in the only two people left that I would have done anything to protect.
When does the pain end???? I need it to stop...
Thanks for listening.. Let me know if any good support groups are known. I did talk to my counselor today and made an appt for thursday.
I'm lost... help me find my way back to trust and love....
PP <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
