My wife of 14 years wants to separate. She said that she does know if
she loves me the way a wife should love a husband but that I am still
one of the most important people in her life. She is in her 2nd affair
in 1 year. She said that she knew if she did it again it would be over.
She also said that it is not me and that I am a good man a husband but
that she is the problem.--My wife has a low self esteem and a poor
relationship with her father which also effects her relationship with god.
She likes attention from other men, she likes when they flirt and that
she needs this. She has really pulled away from me and does not want to
seed counseling. She said that she wants to go to a personal counselor
first. She said that she does not know if it is over but that I need to
move on with my life and maybe we will get back together. Our
relationship with god has not been that close for the past couple of years and I
know that is part of the problem. She said she is at a cross road in
her
life and does not know what she wants anymore. How am I suppose to
treat her. Should I be nice all the time knowing what she is doing. Do I
hold on. The bible says love your wife but what do I do. What next move
on or hold on for a while. She wants a six month separation and we will
see but no counseling. She is also drinking with her friends and that
is part of the problem.. I am confused and feel foolish for holding on. I love her with all my heart and we are still good friends although that is fading away quickly

lsu_la@yahoo.com

Have you guys had any counseling since the problems began? If so, how did that go?

I know what you are going through. It it very difficult. However, sometimes one person has to hold on when the other is having difficulties.

How is your spiritual life these days?

Swimming Alone,

You are not alone. Many of us her have heard the same as you.

Lets see <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I love you but I'm not in love with you
I don't think anyone will ever love me like you do
I'ts not you , it's me
I don't love you like a wife should.
ETC>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

It's all fog talk and a way for her to get around telling you that you aren't meeting her needs.

These OM's are meeting needs that you are not and that is what is drawing her to them.

You need to identify her most important EN's and make sure that you are meeting them.

Stay away from the "Temporary seperation" if you can. Time together is your best bet at showing her what she means to you.

Read up on all you can about meeting Emotional Needs and keeping away from Love Busters.

Here are some links that can help you.

The Most Important Emotional Needs
Love Busters

Why Women Leave Men

Good luck
And READ


WIWH

no we have not tried counseling. she does not want to until she works on her problems first. She needs to straighten herself out before the marriage. How can I stay in the same house and tolerate this kind of behavior or should she leave since she is committing adultery or should we stay put