Ok...I am not going through the big D and Don't Mean Dallas...and figure I should let all those BS's (and a few WS's of course) over in Infedelity General Question land have a break from me. I need to keep on my path of completeness, and would really appreciate your insights.

Here is my latest thread over there....
My mojo thread in General Questions

Anyhoo, I hope you can welcome me into your club over here. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

<small>[ July 03, 2004, 06:06 PM: Message edited by: SerendipiT ]</small>

SerendipiT

You've already paid the dues for this club so I don't see why you wouldn't be welcome.

It's always good to hear somebody moving on with themselves for the better.

I didn't go thru your whole thread, just your initial post.

It's funny because I was just thinking today that I have been "Hun" and "Daddy" for so long that I almost forgot who WIWH was. I'm starting to see a little of my old self again and it does feel good.

Welcome to D&D

WIWH

Thanks for the welcome. It is a really weird place to be, one I never in a million years imagined, and one that never in a million years I would have wished for, but, it is what it is.

I hope to learn from those of you further along in the process. And I will try to help those that I can, anyway I can!

I am feeling kinda low today, because I feel like I am losing who I am. And while I feel like I have been on a viligent hunt finding my old self, reclaiming life's passions, etc., I am struggling with my identity as the divorced single Mom. I never wanted to be a divorced single Mom. I did not sign up for this. I don't want to be that person. I don't want to be the older woman dating. The Mom with a boyfriend. Or the Mom who spend Christmas alone eating a microwave dinner in front of the TV. Or the newly single chic that has all her friends trying to fix her up.

It is just so unfair. I think that maybe I just need to not only mourn my marriage, but also mourn losing a piece of myself, and mourn losing the life I was trying to build with my H. Maybe I need to mourn the possibility of having another relationship in my lifetime, and just come to terms with the fact that it will be me alone with my children. Come to terms with the fact that I may die alone.

Anyway...this sucks. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

SerendipiT

Yes this does suck. I know exactly how you feel. I'll never be a single mom but the feelings of being a weekend dad are pretty much the same. Especialy when it is not what you want.

hey you will never die alone - you will always have your children, their children - friends and family... and you are young - trying being almost 40 with two teenagers and divorced?? lol - 40 is bad enough I am thinking... I to like you never signed up for the divorce thing... and it does suck - it is hard to get back to that single mode - I will be divorced two years in September and still haven't figured out what it means to be single - at all.. but you know what you will make it through - you will be ok... Really you will -And you know being the newly single chick with friends trying to fix you up sounds like fun... Try to stay positive... You may have low days - but you will also have better days.... Stay upbeat....

SerendipiT,

Been there done that.... opps! Maybe doing it again.

Been the single Dad, been the Dating Dad, even been the trying to merge a stepfamily Dad and walked that line.

Did I want any of this? No and heck no. If it were my choice I'd be married till the end of days, but the key point is it wasn't my choice and it's not your's either. Do I have regrets? Yea and yeah. Do I blame my ex and maybe soon to be ex? I did, but now I don't. They made their choices and have to live with the results as do I.

I could have done without the pain and loneliness, but such is the price you pay for love. Some people never experience what we have and they are blessed, but others share our pain and it's places like this we can get together and lend support, offer sympathy and maybe some constructive advice.

At 31 I wouldn't be thinking about dying alone unless I missed something and your terminal. I've read your back posts and you look like a lady that has it pretty much together (most of the time), have a great personality and bring a lot to the table. My prediction (closet psycho...errr psychic) it that you'll not be on the market long. Some lucky guy is going to come along and <BAM> lite up your life again (if you don't do it first).

Hang tough, the rollercoaster eventully even's out. Grab a handy shoulder on occassion and stay active (as you've been doing).

Your doin good... keep it up!

<small>[ July 06, 2004, 04:57 PM: Message edited by: HarryS ]</small>

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I really appreciate it.

Harry, I especially liked your reply. You are right. We are equipped now with some insights, and hopefully some tools, that will differentiate us.