Hi there,
It's a tough call, and call only you really make. You will know in your heart.
I myself decided that since my XH instigated the entire matter to dissolve our marriage and family, then he had the right to do so. Actions speak louder than words.
Adultery communicates an attack and intent of dissolution.
Since my XH was so irresponible chasing panties, and made us his lowest priority. I suggested to make my children and I top priority for a short time by coming to the table, to get a divorce then resume what he was doing, be free to go on with his sick lifestyle. We would be free from his depravity and start a healthy life for my self.
I decided to bring matters to head, to help him focus, and start the process rolling.
He actually believed he could at one point slide back home and everything would be back to normal. The cycle would start all over-he would of course hurt and damage us more.
So, I called him on his game. He proved to be untrustworthy, and not a true friend to me or our children.
Ususally, the stalling game is what they want. They want the power and control, as they sometime see us as their property. Which is crazy. Or my experince is their flames don't work out then they want to run home. I don't play such sick games.
If our partners want to play around, not much we can do about it other to protect ourselves and children. They are free to do so and we too, have exit rights and are free to end the suffering and be free of them, too get on with our lives. The paper work needs to be done.
The aggreements, need to be fair and reasonable. They do have to grow up sometime.
The more we wait the more damage is done, more wasted monies, our nerves. Reality suggests it is only the laywers who really benefit and profit off the misfortunes here. So we have too, think about our kids, and ourselves.
I could have had everything resolved in a few weeks. But no my XH played so may childish, stupid games, wasted everything.
To wait too long in limbo, imho is a waste of engergies, time.
Wondering does your spouse have issues with alchol, drugs or any other disorders? I ask this because if he does? I think a lawyer worth their salt, which I think a few exist, should advise him to seek compentant professional intervention, help first before coming to barginning table.
He should be in full possession of his faculities, own up to his adultery and do whats right. No crazies allowed at the table. The budget doesn't allow for it. Your life is to short. It's about accountablity.
He broke the marriage, and broke himself so he can repair himself and be fair, resonable for the damages he has caused.
My 2 cents worth...
