Hello everyone. I go for my first meeting with the Guardian ad Litem tomorrow. I am a little nervous as I have never done this before, but have my things together so I feel prepared.

I have to bring a list of references with me to the meeting. Depending on what the guardian wants I may need as many as ten or as few as three. I have plent of references, but if I am limited to only a few I want to use the best ones.

Do any of you who have been through this before have any suggestions as to whom I should use. Most people who know our story are biased to my side. How do I choose people who will support my case yet come across as knowledgable and unbiased?

Any advice on this or the whole Guardian ad Litem situation in general is greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

Take care and God bless!
K

Hi Still--

I don't know anything about what you asking, but, I wanted to let you know I will be thinking of you and wish you the best.

Good Luck!
K.

Thanks for the support! You are a good friend!

Take care and God bless!
K

For the custody psychological evaluation I listed a number of people including our doctor, the old babysitter, neighbors, the current day care teachers and friends who witnessed the parenting.
They did call, but more to confirm that there were no huge red flags with the children's care, and less for personal opinion. They were asked basic questions like, which parent did you see most, who took the children to the doctor/dentist, etc.

Good Luck.

Hi Still--

I wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you today. I'm hoping that all goes well, and in your favor.

Best Wishes,
K.

Hi newly and K-

Thanks for the advice newly. I told the attorney I had all of the information you listed for him and he told me that right now I should sit back and be reactive and wait to see what XH does. He asked if I had any skeletons as it would be best if they came from me and I said no. He had done some digging into our backgrounds and found my XH's to be the only one with anything. Although I don't know if he was trying to get me comfortable in hopes of getting me to open up, he seemed not too pleased with XH's record. He also said that after reading the petitions, etc, that child support rather than time with the kids seemed to be my XH's driving force.

I'd say it went well. He still needs to meet with my XH, but my XH hasn't scheduled an appointment yet and the attorney said he isn't in the business of chasing people down. He said that the burden of proof is on my XH's shoulders. He said if he has cleaned up his act it is best for everyone, but doesn't guarantee him anything. He said it will be XH's burden to prove that it is in the kids' best interest to shake up the current schedule which seems to be working very well.

Now I am just hoping he is right and this thing will come to a workable solution.

Thanks for all the support.

Take care and God bless!
K

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> He said it will be XH's burden to prove that it is in the kids' best interest to shake up the current schedule which seems to be working very well.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It all sounds good, so why are you still worried?
The courts don't like to get involved, but they really hate it when a parent is more concerned about money than about the children. And they really hate people who waste the court's time and resources.

The way I see it, the worst case scenario for you would be to have the courts evaluate your X's parenting over time (ie. put in a gradual change to see how he might handle it in his newly sober state) before they commit to a permanent change.
Remember, the courts have far more experience with custody disagreements than we do.
Breathe.

Thanks newly-

I am breathing, but it seems so surreal to me. It is so weird to go in and hear people support me and what has been happening. I have been living under the fear of XH's threats for so long that I have started to doubt myself and what is right.

This morning's experience combined with what the judge told us a couple of weeks ago have me feeling a lot more optimistic than I've felt in months.

I have a couple of things to bring back to the Guardian ad Litem, but otherwise I am on top of it. I am hoping that once he talks to him the XH will start to see that things are stacked against him and will back down, but he is pretty determined, I'm not holding my breath!

I am relaxing a bit though and doing as you've told me to do many times, parenting out of love, not fear.

Thanks again for the support.

Take care and God bless!
K

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> parenting out of love, not fear.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I almost wrote that again in my post, but I knew you had heard it.
I remind myself of this saying all the time, while hearing it repeated from my friends.

It's a mantra.

Approach life and situations from the point of love - not from fear.

For many of us, our FOOs were very fearful of change, and this fear was instilled in us at an early age.