Dear friends,
I have twice now started dating really nice guys, thinking, wow this is the one....Then as soon as they get close and things get more serious, I panic, and start feeling hurt and depressed again. The one I am seeing now is so, so very special. He lives 10 hours from me, I met him online, and he wants a life with ...yet my kids being 17,14 and 13 I am having trouble seeing myself uprooting everyone to go and live there. Help, help, I don't want to hurt this wonderful man. I still wonder if I am emotionally ready for a relationship like this, yet I do love him
Anybody been here?
WHat do I tell him?
KK

Kay - hey I don't have any great advice - but I just wanted to say HI - and say I am very happy for you - I don't know how long you are technically suppose to wait - or how long everyone thinks you should wait - but if you really love him - I would talk to your kids and let them know where things stand and get their opinions.... Otherwise how are things going???

Use what you've learned on here. Talk it out. Use the MB principles. POJA it.

Karen

Hi Mimi,
Nice to hear from you. I'm really doing great, and then I have to go and get myself into these situations.....
My kids are good, my job is good, everything is really going smoothly, now I'm stressing about what to do about this fellow...he has been divorced a long time and is ready for a real relationship.
You are smart to not date. When the experts say it takes several years to get over everything, they are right!!!
How are you doing? How are your kids?

Karen, you are right. This guy is too good to lose, I would somehow like to hang onto him, but don't know if it will turn out to be the best thing for him.
He is coming to see me tomorrow, first time we've met in person after a long time emailing and talking on the phone, so we will have a chance to talk about everything.
Thanks for your reply. Hope you're well.
KK

Well, here's my advice...if this guy is the real thing, if this guy is the winning ticket, well, then he will have no problem waiting for you and going slow with the relationship thing.

Remember, haste leads to waste. Take your time, remember, you have a lot of life left, and now that you're on your own, you know that you don't need someone else to be alright.

How much time does it take to heal from divorce? Well, I have no idea. It took my H approximately 4 days and I, well, I'm no where near it.

Enjoy life, enjoy the people that you're with, enjoy the emotions of a good man treating you well, but remember you don't owe him anything, do what's good for you and think about yourself for a change.

Good luck!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> POJA it </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">ummmm..... could you tell me what that means? (me...the one that couldn't find the abbreviation page <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> ) Thanks! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Chastesin,
THanks for your reply: I feel that you are right, that if he is the one, he will go slow and consider my feelings. He is many years out of his divorce, I am a little over 1, so he is in a different place than I am...
He is wonderful, though, and I am not wanting to hurt him and end it entirely. It is nice being alone, but also nice to have some companionship.

Elan, look back at the home page, on basic concepts. Click on the left hand side on Policy of Joint Agreement. It says: Never do anything without an enthusiastic agreement
between you and your spouse.
We will see how things go. Take care.
KK

Hey Kay - so you are meeting him face to face today - good for you ... And like everyone else said if he is the one then he will wait for you ....Well as for me and my girls - well the girls are doing fine... They haven't spoken to their Dad in a week or so - he actually went next door to see his girlfriend on a Saturday night and one daughter saw him - and he told the other daughter that it wasn't him - his car might have been there but he wasn't - so said but - he is still lying to them.....And he is unfortunately digging his hole deeper and deeper as far as they are concerned... I am doing ok - I need to get out there and meet people - and start dating myself - I just keep finding myself - sinking back into this freaking depression... Like there is nothing happy going on in my life except my kids... but I am sure that I will come around - let me know how your first encounter with the new boyfriend goes...

Mimi,
Get out there girl, and have some fun! You deserve it.
I had a dream last night that went like this: I was picking my new friend up from the airport and I was trying to keep him away from the house because my XH (we were still married in the dream) was home and I was terrified he would find out I was dating! Even in our dreams these XH's continue to haunt us! Arghhh!
Anyhow, do something for yourself, don't be depressed! Go out and have a little fun!
KK