No, I haven't met a potential date, but I do have a question.
A friend's X took the kids overnight on a trip with his GF, and everyone shared one room, with each parent sleeping with their kids in a bed.
Is this appropriate? Or better yet, when would this be appropriate.
With 2 adults and 2 children each, quarters must have been cramped. The children are young, 3 & 5.
Would you be concerned?

And is this any different than two female friends taking their kids on a trip together sharing a room?

The responses here will be interesting. It's probably a matter of personal taste and conviction.

I would say it is not appropriate for "a couple" to do this with their kids. Even if they aren't sharing a bed, it opens up so many cans of worms. Appearing to be a family when they're not could hurt the kids if the couple should split up. Acting like a family in front of others could cause outsiders to treat them like a family, possibly making things awkward. One room does not give much privacy at all! Why not get TWO ROOMS instead? I look at this scenario along the same line as the question of "when is it appropriate to introduce someone you're dating to your children", which has been debated in this forum before. But hey, I want to join the Rules Girls club...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Newly said: And is this any different than two female friends taking their kids on a trip together sharing a room?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well, yeah, it is. There wouldn't be any sexual tension with this scenario, would there? It would be obvious (hopefully) as to two friends taking kids on vacation - something my sister and I have done with our kids.

<small>[ July 07, 2004, 03:12 PM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Thanks for the reply. It is definitely a value question. Friend's X actually apologized - in writing. He realized it wasn't appropriate, but that was after the fact.

newly-

pretty interesting and it definately is an issue of values.

The best solution would obvioulsy have been to get two separate rooms, but not everyone, especially when involved romantically stops and thinks what is best in terms of the kids.

I guess I would also have to look at how long the couple been together, how well do the kids know eachother, etc. because all of these issues also play into it.

I know in my own experience a month after our kids found out that my XH and I were getting divorced he took the kids out of town for the weekend. They hooked up with the OW and shared a motel room. The kids were really confused when they woke up to find Daddy and OW sleeping together as when they went to sleep Daddy was on the floor and OW was in a bed alone. Trust me, it was an incredibly hard thing to try to explain to the kids and I almost killed my now XH for it. Of course he said it was harmless as they never would have done anything, but how do you explain to your children that Daddy is sleeping with someone other than their mother.

This is also a hard one, as realistically life does go on after divorce and adults move on. I think the key is to realize that children perceive things so differently than we do and we have to use our best judgement around them no matter what our hormones may be telling us.

Take care and God bless!
K

Darn! I thought ya hooked someone <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I agree with Still Reeling

The time they have been together and the relationships with the kids would play a big part.

I don't see it as any different than if X is living with OP and takes the kids there for the weekend.

<small>[ July 09, 2004, 01:32 PM: Message edited by: WishI WereHome ]</small>