I love my husband with all my heart but he is very mentally sick. He can not take stress and deal with emotions. He has seen several therapists but he thinks they don't know what they are talking about. He also had a psychiatric evaluation that said the same thing and he needed alot of alone time and therapy to get in touch with his own emotions and then work on other peoples emotions. We were only married 2 and a half years..and he walked out the door leaving me with no money and the house in forclosure. He took the rental I had found for all of us to move into since we had to sell the house. He told me to go back where I came from. He found a girlfriend within 2 weeks and is wearing a silver band on his little finger of his wedding hand..and then he filed divorce. He lies constantly and is fighting for half the house money now that I have sold it and bought a mobile home with the money I made. I had bought the house before we were married so it was mine..and him and his son moved in with me and my 3 children. I relocated to his area and I have no family or friends here. He has been very cruel and won't have anything to do with my son (his stepson) and he sent his son home with the boys mother. He is just running away. He won't let me know anything about the new woman and he keeps her well hidden. He cleaned out all my assets as a married couple...over $64,000 and the lawyer says it was all done legally..there is nothing I can do about it. My husband told the therapist that he loved me with all his heart but he couldn't take my anxiety and she told him he needed help. So he went to a different therapist and told her he wanted a divorce...thinks that will solve his problems. He told me when he left that he loved me but wasn't in love with me...and he was so confused he didn't know what he wanted. Then he got this new woman...and he has been cruel ever since. I wound up in the hospital emergancy a couple of weeks ago with what we thought was a stroke and he couldn't leave work but he called the hospital 3 times while I was there and then he called me for several days after I was home to check up on me. Yet he sais he was just bieng kind and still doesn't love me. I have since been told that I CAN have him arrested for conduct unbecoming a police officer which would ruin his career. I have hired a private investigator and found out his girlfriend lives out of state and he travels 2 hours to stay with her. He found her on the internet. I am sure she has no idea about him at all...the private investigator has offered to approach this woman and let her know. If I let him do this and he breaks up the 2 of them...and I do press charges will this ruin all my chances of him ever comming back to me? I am his wife and I want to help him...and I know you can't help if they don't want to be but will this make him crash and realize how sick he is and know how much I love him and am trying to help or will he hate me for the rest of his life?

Totally Alone,

You are not alone. Welcome to Marriage Builders. I have good news and bad news.
The good news is we’re here almost 24 hours a day, although weekends are slow, and we’re supportive of people trying to prevent divorce, even here on the DV board.

Now, for the bad news. If you husband is mentally ill, or worse, suffers from a personality disorder, or is an addict, the techniques described here won’t work until he solves his problem.

Back to the good news. You can skip over Plan A and move to Plan B. Basically, you write him a really nice letter saying…
1. you love him with all your heart.
2. you want to stay married to him for the rest of your life
3. you are willing to do whatever it takes to create a mutually enjoyable marrige
4. his behaviors (name them) are destroying your love for him, therefore, in order to protect the remaining love you feel, you request no contact from him at all until he stops said behaviors.
5. In case of emergencies or to plan for the children, he should call ____.
6. If he stops _______, does _________, you’ll be willing to explore ways to heal your marriage and make you both happy.

There’s a lot of information on the site, and most libraries carry Dr. Harley’s books.

I’m so sorry you are here, but welcome.