My wife has been having an EA for over a a year. we've been to counseling, marriage seminars, and workshops, but she refuses to give up the EA. I believe it will turn into a PA. I told her about it and she could care less about my feelings regarding the affair. I'm planning on making an appointment to see a lawyer next week.
OM sent an email to my mother in law who forwarded the message to my wife who said she will contact him when she comes to visit her mother. I asked her about it and she could care less about my thoughts and feelings regarding her keeping contact with the (married)OM. I even contacted the OM's wife who said that I was not the first person that called about her husband. We have a 2yr old adopted little girl, and i want primary custodialship. I'm not worried about the house car, etc. only my daughter.

Any advice would be gladly appreciated.
I've been studying on divorce and father's rights. planning my case. I have all emails, and voice messages that he left on her work phone. So i'm wondering if an EA would be grounds for Divorce or do you have to wait until a full fledged PA.

Hi. Are you asking for legal grounds? What is the law in your state? Have you talked to a lawyer?
If you're asking on religious grounds, you should talk to clergy in your church/temple.
If you're asking on purely practical grounds, I would say yes, if the EA has eroded your marriage.

Check with your lawyer on this one. The info I’ve gotten from a TX lawyer is that short of abuse, the wife gets custody.

Now, if you have something to hold over her head, or if she doesn’t have a clue about custody, you may be able to work the situation.

Make sure you hire the best, meanest lawyer you can afford. Here on the east, you need to hire the best LOCAL divorce attorney. Get a big city lawyer in, and you’re sunk.