Well finally retained an attny.

Wife asked about where papers should be served last Thursday and has asked, well, actuall told me I better move out soon, or she'll get a judge to order me out.

The attny said that WW hadn't filed yet, but he did find the attny who is representing her. He told me that I should file right now and beat her to the punch. Said I was in a better position if I filed first.

The whole thing nauseated me.

First off, I don't know the laws in your state, but I believe she can't "order" you out of the house. Not until the divorce is final. Unless you've abused her, you have just as much right to be there as she does.

Only move out if you want to move out, otherwise tell her that if she doesn't like it, SHE can move out.

Remember that half of everything that is hers is yours, and half of everything that is yours is hers.

As for who serves who has the upper hand, that just isn't true. I think your lawyer just wants the 150 bux it costs to serve the other party.

You might want to make sure you have the right kind of lawyer with that advice.

Also, I suggest you do some personal research on the laws in your state regaurding D. The more you know, the better prepared you will be when it comes down to it. Knowledge is power, empower yourself!

1FM,

Posted to you last week on GQII relative to filing first. It is in your best interest to do so. Please, please, please reconsider your attorney's advice. Your lawyer is NOT just trying to get the $150 filing fee - in fact, he doesn't get the filing fee - it is paid to the Clerk of Courts.

Sometimes, being served with divorce papers is a rude awakening for the WS - especially if your WS is a SAHM. When she realizes the gravy train is about to end and she is going to have to start fending for herself (even if she does get alimony or get to keep the house), maybe that fog will clear up REALLY quick! She may get to keep the house, but will you be obligated to pay the mortgage? I don't think so. Will she be able to keep up the mortgage and all expenses on whatever alimony and property split she will be awarded? Very, very real things for her to consider.

Also, you believe that OM is in this for the pure fantasy and "safety" of a long distance relationship. Maybe if OM finds out WS has been served with divorce papers and thinks that your WS is going to end up divorced whether she wants to or not, the reality will hit him and he'll do a runner.

Regards,

Brit's Brat/BS-43
XH/WS-45
DS/2-1/2
D-Day: May 2002
Status: Divorce final on May 17, 2004 after two years of trying to reclaim marriage.