Hi! I thought maybe you could help me..saw your thread on someone else's post and you are obviously from MI! So am I! I am going to a custody hearing on Monday and I need advice.

What should I be taking with me if anything? I'm not really sure what's going to go on during this hearing either.

I don't know what all of this is, but I do NOT want to lose physical primary custody of my daughter and I will do anything to keep it.

Have any pointers for me?

Look at the list of "best interest of the child" factors I posted. This stuff matters.

What does your ex parte order say? Was there an order for psychiatric evaluation for both parties? My evaluation, which XH ordered to make me look bad, actually helped result in me getting physical custody.

Not sure if your DD is in school or day care, but letters from teachers and care givers stating that YOU are the person who drops off, picks up, attends meetings, etc. are helpful in establishing proof of your involvement. He could say he does it, you could say you do it, but a letter from someone else is what is needed to back it up.

I had letters from friends and family as character references, telling how I took the kids to parades, zoos, etc. which is good for their social skills. (My XH hated to leave the house.)

If your H left and you and DD are living in the marital home, that's a plus for you too.

I'll try to think of other things, have to get back to work! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

You may be able to have it included in your final order, not sure, but sometimes in the temporary custody order, a parent will stipulate that the other parent may not have opposite sex overnight company during their parenting time (visitation) ... something to consider. (This would apply to both of you of course.) That will irritate the wandering spouses.

Also, please edit your first post to me and change the title to something like "questions about getting physical custody" so you'll get more response! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

I went back and read some of my posts from October 2000 ... can't believe how far I've come. And how some things are exactly the same (XH and X-MIL). I first posted under member no. 6497.

Hi Buttercup!

I have a list from my lawyer that says the same things on it. I have been going through it with a fine tooth comb.

My ex-parte order only states that I have temporary custody of daughter, we have court Monday for custody, and he will have to pay support from 7/2 until otherwise noted.

Short lapse here to tell you the situation.

Husband moved out on 5/28, got together with Girlfriend that week, H and g/f's H had fight outside of H's appartment the following week after that, that's when H told me about A.

I go see my lawyer this Friday to talk about custody. I didn't get a very good e-mail from him last night so he wants me to come in and take a meeting with him on the issues.

What ticks me off, is that his A has absolutely nothing to do with custody. The court doesn't care one bit about it. Only if the g/f was living with him would they care. So I guess I'll see what the lawyer has to say.

Right now I have:

New job - working 1st shift (same shift as H)
I have marital home
I have temporary custody
I have had her living with me since he moved out
I live in her school district
I live near all of her friends
I have set up all of her extra curricular activites and paid for them
I take her to and from babysitters
I take her to doctor's appointments and make them
I pay for all her extra curricular activities
I do all of her school functions
I am NOT seeing anyone
I get her haircuts, manicures, etc.
I have 2 bedroom house, he has 1 bedroom appartment
I have purchased all of her clothes/shoes/accessories

I think that's it right now. That's what I could come up with. I hope it's enough. I guess I'll find out Friday or Monday for that matter when we go to court, I don't think we're going to be able to avoid court now.