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#774313 07/14/04 08:08 AM
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Part of having to deal with my marriage mess is that I am being forced to make decisions and I am fearful of making the wrong decision.

So, I try to put that off and pace the floor trying to think what to do. I struggle with what is important: a) I want to make Godly decisions b) I want to protect myself c) I want to show my husband that I love him d) I want repentence and reconcilliation with my husband.

***
This is a simple little 'ole problem that I need help making a decision with:

"Do I sign the title over of the truck that my husband traded in?" The attorney called about it yesterday... I don't know what decision to make!
***

The car is in his name. Whether fraudulently or not, it is in his name. (I believe it is becaue I was on the purchase agreement and he didn't include me as an owner on the registration. The document he gave to Driver Vehicle Services (DVS) is different than the document than the dealership gave me a copy of. FRAUD is definitely there because he forged my signature.) The truck is in both of our names. I drive the car, he drives the truck.

I called DVS and they said that no one can sign me off the title of the truck. I called the dealership where my husband traded the truck in and he signed a statemkent that says: "Trade is free and clear of all liens and is ok to trade per Michael and his Ex Spouse."

My husbands justification for what he did sounds logical. He needs a vehicle to get to work. He tried to repair the truck but that didn't work. (I think he blew a head gasket because I still have the thermostat replacement sitting on the counter.) He said that it is going to just cost "us" money if I don't sign over the title.

(I talked about this in my previous post when I told you guys that my husband's attorney called. trustntruth needs prayers )

So, please, can you please help me learn how to make decisions and help me fix why I am afraid to make decisions? I am so unsure of myself, and although I give my husband credit that he knows about whether things are a good deal or not a good deal, or whether a truck is in bad shape or not in bad shape; I simply do not trust him anymore because I can never tell if he is just trying to serve himself or what.

I hope you know what I mean.

***
My Family Web Page

[ July 14, 2004, 08:10 AM: Message edited by: trustntruth ]

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Simple Question!

What reason would you have to not sign?

What do you stand to loose if you sign?

What do you stand to gain if you don't?

Ok so that was 3 simple questions [Smile]

Think of why you should and why you shouldn't and the decission should be pretty simple.

WIWH

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What reason would you have to not sign?
What do you stand to loose if you sign?
I may lose the ability to prove that my husband intended to fraud me out of the truck. Which supports a larger issue that he took $38,000 out of our joint account without my permission and spent most of it without my permission.

What do you stand to loose if you sign?
I lose the ability to negotiate the value of my car at $900. Maybe I lose that ability, maybe I don't... hmmmm....

(The dealership was going to go ahead and take the truck and do the trade and apply for a new title until I called them.)



What do you stand to gain if you don't?
A better relationship with my husband and trust.

Ok so that was 3 simple questions

Think of why you should and why you shouldn't and the decission should be pretty simple.

WIWH

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TNT,

OK, long time no talk to, but I need to come on pretty strong here.

Hon, I have “known” you for over five years now – ever since I came on board at MB after my Jan 99 d-day. You are kind, sweet, gentle and unfortunately married to an abuser and master manipulator.

The reason you are having so much trouble making a simple decision is that he has you tied up in knots dear. You question your own judgment because you have allowed him to manipulate and degrade you for years. You are bright and intelligent. You gave me advice in the past that I still treasure. And yet you find yourself incapable of making decisions that would protect you.

You are still recovering from injuries he gave you, and yet you wonder if you should do something like sign over a truck title so that you can somehow earn a better relationship with him and his trust. Sweetheart, this is ludicrous! I’m not sure what other signs you are waiting for from God. To me the path seems pretty clear here. You cannot save your H TNT. He must be ready to do this himself. But please save yourself.

You were on the right track with getting a lawyer that will help you protect your interests. I feel you will not be emotionally healed enough to do this on your own for some time. Do not try to make these decisions on your own – instead pursue your legal aid services and have someone on your side.

I am so, so sorry this is where you are at. I read another of your posts and saw that you said the order of protection you got has caused your H to be very aggressive. Wrong again hon, your H is very aggressive because he is an overbearing abuser, not because of anything you have done to cause it. Please think about this.

Hugs and prayers,
Starpony

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I agree 100% with starpony. Obtaining a restraining order does not 'make' him more aggressive. He cracked your head open and then practically let you bleed to death before getting you to the hospital! He is abusive tnt.

Here's a rule of thumb that served me fairly well during my separation and divorce -- if you do anything nice for him, make sure there's a benefit for YOU. How would signing the paper benefit YOU? No benny, no signy.

Have you contacted your nearest women's shelter? I got help from my local shelter's legal advocate, and I'm telling you she was worth her weight in gold. Please get legal counsel as to what constitutes proof of his committing fraud. It may or may not be pertinent to signing the truck title.

I don't know how it is in mn, but there's no such thing as a legal separation here in tx. So that means his debts were my debts and vice versa even though we didn't have anything resembling a marriage those last two years. Even an abuser needs to work and have transportation, so to that end, it will not serve you well to stand in the way of that. Abusers serve their own interests. How much concern do you really think he has about the repairs costing 'both' of you?? He is number one and he is his own priority.

One aspect of divorce simply boils down to dollars. How much are assets worth, and how much are your debts? Things that are 'separate' are things you had before getting married, gifts or inheritances from family. Please search some more today for legal help. You have a lot of healing to do, and the last thing you need is to lose financial asssets to which you are entitled.

edit to add p.s.
If your stbx's truck really is in need of being replaced, that will mean money going toward a replacement, whether it's in the form of a new debt or cash out of the bank. You have a stake in whatever happens. I have no idea what your best case scenario is, but you need to find out and do everything possible to protect your own interests.

[ July 14, 2004, 02:03 PM: Message edited by: lonesome heart ]

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Starpony and LH, you are right right right and I know it.

I think it is my INFP'ish personality that keeps me stuck? Plus being abused and having no self esteem?

I am not sure?

You are right I have a WHOLE lot of healing to do and I need advocacy.

I have been in contact with the crisis center. They are so unorganized it is unbelievable. Their first legal advocate told me to wait to file the OFP until after I had the police report. So I did. He took the boat and loaded up a lot of assets and police did NOTHING.

Police have been doing nothing about anything. He took a 3 wheeler AFTER the OFP, they did nothing. They do nothing. So far they haven't prosecuted him because they think he had to have intent to crack my head open or it wasn't abuse.

So, did he intend to crack my head open? No, that happened because I hit my head on the fireplace after being pushed. If I could PROVE that he INTENDED to crack my head open, then maybe I'd have a prayer in court.

He is just using our son as a pawn to continue to control me. I know that. It is odvious. I know he is abusive. I am 'getting' that part. I know that, and I know I cannot lift the order for protection.

But there is such a driving part of me that just can't believe that we will be apart, and that he won't change! I know, no outward signs to this effect at all.

But.... I don't get it why I just feel feel feel that there is something still there with us, and that the bond is still there, and that GOD can heal.

I have not bought into the secular way of dealing with domestic violence. I think some way or some how there is a different way of dealing with this - but I dont' know what that is. I know that my life has been plagued by it and so has my relatinship with with my boys - their fathers have used them as pawns to control and abuse their mother.

It is so sad.

AND my heart is broken.

If I could get an attorney - I now have hit shut doors by 39 attorneys. Legal Aid, haha. what a joke. My husbands attorney is on their board, therefore they can't help me.

I feel so isolated and alone and I am sorry that I am on a pity pot and a downer for others, I really am.

I am so thank ful for your prayers and your concern, and for you coming out of hiding to help me, I really am.

Congratulations LH and Starpony on moving on, and Starpony I am happy you are remarried now. I am so glad that OW and Husband's marriage did not last. Good.

I think that Domestic Violence is a lot like the fog. Maybe there is something to that thought.

God Bless you all.
TNT

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I'm an infp too! How 'bout that?

Let's see what else we might have in common. Denial had me stuck for a long time. And being stubborn. I didn't want a failed marriage. I didn't want to give up. I thought I could get what I wanted if I refused to give up. The problem with applying that line of thinking to a marriage is that two people comprise a marriage. I think it was karenna who had a great saying about this. If only one person wants a healthy marriage and only one person is working toward that goal, then one of the people is unnecessary. Something along those lines. So much for being stubborn. As for denial, I came to the realization somewhere along the way that my ex has what I believe is a personality disorder. I now believe that a healthy relationship exceeds his capabilities, and it was a truth I had to accept.

tnt, your marriage is unhealthy and dangerous. You will be held accountable for your marriage someday. Do you not believe that marriage should be sacred and sanctified? Do you not believe your husband should be your safe harbor in this world? Do you not recognize a person's right to make their own choices based on free will? That you cannot control his choices? That you control only your choices? That you are allowing a travesty to serve as a sorry substitute for what marriage could and *should* be? That you are not able to save the marriage alone? That you are settling for less than what God intends? Do you truly believe this is what God wants for you? Do you believe He will be pleased when you show Him the marriage you have to this man? Doesn't the Bible show time after time that women are expected to rise up and set the example when the men fail to honor their responsibilities? Isn't it up to YOU to say this is not what a marriage should be and I will make no more room in my life for it?

Read Bold Love by Allender and then see if you think God wants to you live a life of hell on earth. Then read Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft, and skip directly to the part about traumatic bonding. Abuse is damaging to the soul tnt. It is like living in a fog. It's hard to get out. And before you can even contemplate getting out, you have to want to get out. Your husband is cruel and dangerous. He has damaged you physically and psychologically. If your women's shelter doesn't have a counselor you find helpful, then keep looking. I found free counselling for a whole year long before I ever went to the women's shelter. Keep trying tnt. Your life depends on it, physically and spiritually.

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Hey there.... I'm having trouble keeping up with you... you're running all over this place and posting!! I LOVE IT!! [Smile]

Like LH, I also agree with Starpony (Hi Starpony - it's me, new_beginning with my second name!)... and I think Starpony needs to gallop right over to your house and whisper stuff in your ear on a daily basis ~ stuff like:

"TnT, you're worth the world" and "TnT, you are a good woman"... you know, stuff like that!

Hey, I'm an E instead of your guy's I, but otherwise I'm an NFP too (that makes me an ENFP)... I'm just waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay louder about it! LOL

I too denied abuses throughout my life -- the therapists called it "Normalizing"... it becomes normal and you don't even realize it... sad, but true.

And I agree with LH too: Your marriage is dangerous and unhealthy and frankly, my sweet, sweet TnT, I fear for your life. Don't you? Please don't normalize this... feel it, claim it, and PROclaim that you will no longer allow the abuse into your life.

Anyway, just wanted to add to the chorus of "TnT, remember what's important here - YOU and Ryan!!"

Love ya!
Sheryl

[ July 15, 2004, 12:26 AM: Message edited by: Nyneve ]

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LH and Sheryl, You are always so right.

Actually, Sheryl, sometimes I test out at as an "I"nfp but a low "E"nfp when working.

LH, that is a new perspective, that you talk about presenting a marriage that is holy to the Lord. I have read reviews from Lundy Bancroft's two books.

I can't tell you exactly what I think right now about your perspective, LH. I am hearing you, but I am not sure that it is aligning with my heart.... I have so much to heal from.

I am going to a Sonshine Festival on Friday and Saturday. Many of the people from my Bible study are already there camping. There is a single man in the group that has a pop-up camper and he has invited all of the single ladies to sleep in his camper and he will pitch a tent. How nice is that? So I will go and will room with a few successfully single Christian ladies. God is good.

Well, my husband's attorney sits on the board at legal services so it is a conflict for them to represent me. now what? That is a major concern. I have asked the legal aid attorney to talk with my husband's attorney and see if husband will sign some sort of a blanket hold harmless statement that prevents him from suing other attorneys even if they know his case.

The car dealership called to see about the title and I said that I don't plan to sign over the title and they said who is going to take the truck and I said that I guess he is. I said I doubt that my husband would want to do this, but if he would sign a document that says that he did not have my consent when he traded the truck in and that he lied when he traded it in, then I will sign the truck over.

The dealership said they would rather just have the cash instead.

So, that was late in the afternoon. Not 10 minutes later my son came up and said that I was just trying to hurt his dad and that I am a no good you know.... I was fearful because I don't kow wht kind of fall out I am going to have for going against my husband.

Then my SIL called and aid to come to the little store that she works out (about 5 miles from my house and 20 miles from husband) and pick up my tupperware order... And son asks if I would drive him into town to walk the dog at the park where my step daughter was playing baseball. I said sure, I can do that ater I pick up the tupperware. (remember there is constant communication with son and husband, i mean minute by minute type of communication.) I said, well where is Dad? and he sadi that he didn't know.

As soon as I get to the gas station there is husband. SIL said she tried to catch me on my cell and warn me. Son tried to get out of car when we were at store and I told him no, and I was scared and left there and then took a different route when I left the store - Husband came runing out of the store waving his arms to get me to stop or slow down so he could see son.

I just kept going. Son called dad on the cell phone. So I am listening to them "mommy bash". I told son that I don't want any third party contact with husband and that if he wants a divorce that he is going to get one and to stay away from me and that I don't want to be munipulated anymore like last week when we talked.

I was angry. And I think a Righteous Anger.

I guess I knew when I made that decision to do the truck title that is like the ultimate just like when I called and cancelled that $200,000 construction loan... Fearful of the fall-out. It took just 5 days in that situation before I had a problem. So, I don't exactly feel safe right now.

I told my son that I thought I over-reacted and I apologized but hoped that he understood that I am fearful after refusing the truck title.

So. He declared war and I guess I have too. Not something I want. I know it isn't Godly, this fighting. I am just really sad about it all.

TNT

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tnt, it's certainly no surprise that we have different views on marriage. Not even the Bible says we're to stay married no matter what! Allowances for divorce are in there! Sure, God hates divorce. How do you suppose He feels about the way your h is handling this marriage? You? Your son? I know this is a marriage builders site, BUT the harleys clearly indicate that mb does NOT fix abuse. What you have is beyond the scope of Plan A or Plan B or curbing LBs and angry outbursts. I don't even know what I can say that would be helpful.

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LH, no I don't think we have different views on marriage. We have different views on divorce.

We both agree that abuse is not okay with God and that we are to separate ourselves from our spouse if our spouse is abusing us.

And we don't have to keep putting ourselves in harms way so we can be a punching bag. boundaries.

but I am not so sure that divorce is Gods way. Separation, maybe, but I don't think divorce.....

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I firmly believe divorce is allowed in certain circumstances and I believe your marriage qualifies to the nth degree. I want to respect your values, though, and your decisions. I'll stay off your threads now. It's too agonizing for me to read about the ways you're treated and to know that you desire your marriage to this monster to continue. The way I see it, you're in a fog of some kind and you want to stay there. I'll respect your choice. I hope you can find the support you need. I am sorry I cannot be of any help.

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you will respect my decision and will stay off my threads...

I know we qualify for divorce.... I know most of us at MB qualify for divorce....adultery is committed in the heart.

I just don't think divorce is the only right answer - but you know what? It just may not matter what I think! I am in reality enough to know that!

LH... I don't want you to agonize. I am not going back until I know it is fixed. If it is not fixed, I may never go back. Pray that I stay in the will of God.

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TNT--

I'd like to make a suggestion--write all of these things out--and put them into a safety deposit box that your stbx does not have access too--

Write a letter and mail it to a trusted family friend or family memeber that in the event of an untimely accident--that it be opened--

I know this sounds weird--but please do it--because right now--if you are that scared--you need some type of protection--

I realize you don't want to leave your son behind-
but if his loyalities to his abusive father are endangering YOUR life--you may need to do that--

Are you near a larger city or town that has an abuse shelter you could go to?? One that is NOT affliated w/ this law firm? Or one that is NOT afflitated with your county??

Maybe someone within your church knows of a lawyer? Or maybe they can help you find one--that will take the case pro-bono--ASK your pastor if HE know's of anyone within the church--or maybe even another church in your community that may be willing to help--


It's not easy to make a decision when your stuck in abuse--but you've prayed about this--and have asked God's help--He will not leave you alone--
Follow YOUR gut instincts--as God is directing your paths--

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I have not been here long so I have to ask how old your son is?

Doesn't his behavoir and lack of respect for you frighten you? I see red flags coming up all over the place.

It does not seem like you have a very good support system and in addition to that, you're living with someone who views you as the enemy and you're living in fear of someone else?

I just wanted to send you a hug and hope you see that your child's behavoir is a big indicator of your relationship with your spouse. Best of luck to you!

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TnT,

I understand you want to stay married but do you understand the rality of how imposable that is? I can give you advice and help but I am not willing to help and guide you if you are just going to not listen and try and help yourself live life to the fullest.

I know exactly what you are going through. I have had a legal battle with my ex for two full years. I had a bitter custody battle for our cats, he ignored the restraing order till I fought with the police to inforce it. I must be honest I was very lucky the judge in charge of my case wrote the laws for spousal abuse, the detective in charge of my case actually worked out great once I ripped him a new one and light a fire under him, and I was blessed by God to have one of the best abuse victim rights advocate. I also found the county clerks were very helpful every step of the way.

I am more than willing to help you with advice but I want to know you want the help. Let me know...because I think you really could use it.

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I do need all the help I can get.

I need to get the abuse out of the relationship. That might mean divorce. That might mean that I have to fight for everything there is. I think that unless my husband is stopped it will continue, and continue through our son, and continue through the legal system, continue through a custody case, and continue continue continue. It HAS to stop, I understand that part. I understanhd there is more than just the physical abuse going on. It is on every level...

I know we need healing. I know this is unhealthy.

The police have not protected me. The police actually believe what he says and do not believe what I say. (I can prove this because I am privy to some information that I cannot share here.) The police reluctantly will respond, but not always. They believe my husband when my husband says this is a FALSE order of protection. So they need a fire under them.

I will write more later, got to go.

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Hi TnT,

I am glad to hear that you are ready to fight because you will need too. Your H is use to the Power Over you. You will have to fight every step of the way to gain that power back.

I want you to start with these little steps. If I understand correctly you have a restraining order. Correct? When he comes to the house call the police. If they refuse to respond inform their boss. I went to the boss of my detective in charge and made an official complaint. I also said I would not quit going to the top till I received satisfaction. I started off nice and became a major thorn in the side. I want you to find out the person in charge and make a complaint.

Second change the locks and your phone number. DO NOT GIVE THE NUMBER TO ANYONE THAT MIGHT GIVE IT TO YOUR H!!! As far as your son goes I think it is time to inform him that his behavior will end towards you. Like it or not you love him and tough love is in order. In my life long restaraining order my ex nor any family member may contact me. Work off that premise. NO more contact and this would include your son. If your H has visitation talk to your local abuse shelter and have them as a third party. They should be more than willing to help. And you should not call your H at all. As part of the restraining order my guess is you are not to contact either. This means your son will have to call from some place else. And no talking to his family at all about anything.

I have a link for you to start investigating if someone will give you pro bono address for MN. Since I have no idea what part here is for everything.

Minnesota AIDS Project
Primary Address: 1400 Park Ave, Ste # South
City: Minneapolis
State: MN
Zip: 55404-1550
General Phone: 612-341-2060
Fax: 612-341-4057
Counties Served: Statewide
Case Types: AIDS/HIV, Adoption, Bankruptcy, Custody, Dissolution of Marriage, Domestic Violence, Employment, Health, Housing, Immigration, Individual Rights, Public Benefits, Torts, Wills and Estates
Case Restrictions: Under 300% of the Federal Poverty Guidelines.


Minnesota Justice Foundation
Primary Address: 229 19th Ave S
City: Minneapolis
State: MN
Zip: 55455-0400
General Phone: 612-651-1584
Fax: 612-626-0056
Counties Served: Statewide
Case Types: AIDS/HIV, Adoption, Bankruptcy, Consumer, Custody, Dissolution of Marriage, Domestic Violence, Education, Elder Law, Employment, Health, Housing, Immigration, Individual Rights, Juvenile, Public Benefits, Termination of Parental Rights, Wills and Estates


Anoka County
Judicare of Anoka County, Inc.
Primary Address: 1201 89th Ave NE, Ste 310
City: Blaine
State: MN
Zip: 55434-3373
General Phone: 612-783-4970
Fax: 612-783-4959
Case Types: Bankruptcy, Consumer, Custody, Dissolution of Marriage, Domestic Violence, Employment, Health, Housing, Public Benefits
Case Restrictions: LSC restrictions


Blue Earth County
Southern Minnesota Regional Legal Services, Inc. Private Bar Involvement Program
Primary Address: PO Box 3304
City: Mankato
State: MN
Zip: 56001-2446
General Phone: 507-387-5588
Intake Phone: 800-247-2299
Fax: 507-387-2321
Counties Served: Blue Earth, Brown,LeSueur, Martin, McLeod, Nicollett, Sibley, Waseca, Watonwan
Case Types: Adoption, Bankruptcy, Consumer, Custody, Dissolution of Marriage, Domestic Violence, Employment, Housing, Individual Rights, Wills and Estates


Clay County
Legal Services of Northwest Minnesota, Inc.
Primary Address: PO Box 714
City: Moorhead
State: MN
Zip: 56561-0714
General Phone: 218-233-8585
Intake Phone: 800-450-8585
Fax: 218-233-8586
Case Types: Bankruptcy, Consumer, Custody, Dissolution of Marriage, Domestic Violence, Education, Elder Law, Employment, Health, Housing, Individual Rights, Juvenile, Public Benefits, Wills and Estates


Crow Wing County
CASS - Crow Wing - Atkin Volunteer Attorney Program
Primary Address: 1342 Highway 210 W
City: Baxter
State: MN
Zip: 56425-7915
General Phone: 218-829-1701
Intake Phone: 800-933-1112
Fax: 218-829-4792
Counties Served: Aitken, Cass, Crow Wing
Case Types: Consumer, Custody, Dissolution of Marriage, Domestic Violence, Education, Elder Law, Employment, Health, Housing, Public Benefits


Dakota County
Legal Assistance of Dakota County, Ltd.
Primary Address: 15025 Glazier Ave
City: Apple Valley
State: MN
Zip: 55124-3508
General Phone: 612-431-3200
Fax: 612-431-3202
Case Types: Custody, Dissolution of Marriage, Domestic Violence


Freeborn County
Southern Minnesota Regional Legal Services Volunteer Attorney Program
Primary Address: 132 N Broadway Ave
City: Albert Lea
State: MN
Zip: 56007-2401
General Phone: 507-377-2831
Intake Phone: 800-223-0280
Fax: 507-377-2832
Counties Served: Faribault, Freeborn, Mower, Rice, Steele
Case Types: Adoption, CED, Consumer, Custody, Dissolution of Marriage, Domestic Violence, Education, Elder Law, Employment, Health, Housing, Immigration, Individual Rights, Public Benefits, Real Estate, Torts, Wills and Estates


Hennepin County
Central Minnesota Legal Services Volunteer Attorney Program
Primary Address: 430 1st Ave N, Ste 359
City: Minneapolis
State: MN
Zip: 55401-1742
General Phone: 612-332-8151
Intake Phone: 800-622-7773
Fax: 612-334-3402
Counties Served: Benton, Big Stone, Chippewa, Chisasi, Kandiyohi, Lac Qui Parle, Lincoln, Lyon, Meeker, Millelacs, Morrison, Renville, Sherburne, Stearns, Swift, Todd, Wright, Yellow Medicine
Case Types: Adoption, Bankruptcy, Consumer, Custody, Dissolution of Marriage, Domestic Violence, Elder Law, Employment, Housing, Real Estate, Torts, Wills and Estates
Case Restrictions: LSC restrictions


Chrysalis, A Center for Women
Primary Address: 2650 Nicollet Ave
City: Minneapolis
State: MN
Zip: 55408-1662
General Phone: 612-871-0118
Fax: 612-870-2403
Counties Served: Metro area
Case Types: Custody, Dissolution of Marriage, Domestic Violence
Case Restrictions: In order for protection cases, the alleged abuser must be represented by an attorney or the battered woman must be seeking legal remedies on behalf of her children.
Web Site: http://www.chrysaliswomen.org


Legal Aid Society of Minneapolis Volunteer Family Law Program
Primary Address: 430 1st Ave N
City: Minneapolis
State: MN
Zip: 55401-1738
General Phone: 612-332-1441
Intake Phone: 612-334-5970
Fax: 612-334-5755
Counties Served: Hennepin
Case Types: Custody, Dissolution of Marriage
Case Restrictions: Clients must be Hennepin county residents and have minor children of the marriage


Minnesota Women Lawyers, Inc. Volunteer Lawyers Network
Primary Address: 514 Nicollet Ave, Ste 350A
City: Minneapolis
State: MN
Zip: 55402-1021
General Phone: 612-339-5500
Fax: 612-339-6180
Counties Served: Hennepin
Case Types: Bankruptcy, Consumer, Custody, Dissolution of Marriage, Domestic Violence, Housing, Immigration, Individual Rights, Juvenile, Real Estate, Wills and Estates


Volunteer Lawyers Network Ltd
Primary Address: 600 Nicollet Mall, Ste 390A
City: Minneapolis
State: MN
Zip: 55402-1039
General Phone: 612-752-6655
Intake Phone: 612-752-6677
Fax: 612-752-6656
Case Types: Adoption, Bankruptcy, Consumer, Custody, Dissolution of Marriage, Domestic Violence, Education, Employment, Health, Housing, Immigration, Individual Rights, Juvenile, Real Estate, Torts, Wills and Estates
Case Restrictions: Cases must be venued in Hennepin County.


Isanti County
Central Minnesota Legal Services Volunteer Attorney Program
Primary Address: 1567 Highway 95 E
City: Cambridge
State: MN
Zip: 55008-1756
General Phone: 612-689-2849
Fax: 612-427-8841
Counties Served: Chisago, Isanti
Case Types: Adoption, Consumer, Custody, Dissolution of Marriage, Elder Law, Employment, Torts, Wills and Estates
Case Restrictions: Client must live in Chisago or Isanti counties and meet financial eligibility requirements.


Itasca County
Legal Aid Service of Northeastern Minnesota
Primary Address: 204 NW 1st Ave, Ste 7
City: Grand Rapids
State: MN
Zip: 55744-2749
General Phone: 218-326-6695
Intake Phone: 800-708-6695
Fax: 218-326-2298
Counties Served: Itasca and Koochiching
Case Types: Custody, Dissolution of Marriage, Domestic Violence, Education, Elder Law, Employment, Health, Housing, Individual Rights, Juvenile, Public Benefits
Web Site: http://lasnem.org


Nobles County
Southern Minnesota Regional Legal Services Private Bar Involvement Program
Primary Address: 421 10th St
City: Worthington
State: MN
Zip: 56187-2340
General Phone: 507-372-7368
Fax: 507-372-2574
Counties Served: Cottonwood, Jackson, Murray, Nobles, Pipestone, Redwood, Rock
Case Types: Consumer, Custody, Dissolution of Marriage, Domestic Violence, Housing, Wills and Estates


Olmsted County
Legal Assistance of Olmsted County Volunteer Attorney Program
Primary Address: 1812 2nd St SW
City: Rochester
State: MN
Zip: 55902-4127
General Phone: 507-287-2036
Fax: 507-287-2035
Counties Served: Olmsted
Case Types: Bankruptcy, Consumer, Custody, Dissolution of Marriage, Domestic Violence, Housing, Individual Rights, Wills and Estates
Case Restrictions: Case must be convened in Olmsted county or the person must live in Olsted county, no criminal law or fee generating cases.


Pine County
Legal Aid Service of Northeastern Minnesota
Primary Address: 235 6th St
City: Pine City
State: MN
Zip: 55063-1424
General Phone: 320-629-7166
Intake Phone: 800-382-7166
Fax: 320-629-0185
Counties Served: Kanabec, Pine
Case Types: Bankruptcy, Consumer, Custody, Dissolution of Marriage, Domestic Violence, Education, Elder Law, Employment, Health, Housing, Individual Rights, Public Benefits
Case Restrictions: Priority guidelines based on case/intake volume, staff availability and LASNEM policy.


Ramsey County
Southern Minnesota Regional Legal Services Volunteer Attorney Program
Primary Address: 46 4th St E, Ste 300
City: Saint Paul
State: MN
Zip: 55101-1113
General Phone: 612-222-5863
Fax: 612-297-6457
Counties Served: Ramsey
Case Types: Bankruptcy, Consumer, Custody, Dissolution of Marriage, Education, Housing, Individual Rights, Termination of Parental Rights, Torts, Wills and Estates


Scott County
Southern Minnesota Regional Legal Services Volunteer Attorney Program
Primary Address: 16174 Main Ave SE
City: Prior Lake
State: MN
Zip: 55372-1765
General Phone: 612-440-1040
Fax: 612-440-1041
Counties Served: Carver, Scott
Case Types: Consumer, Custody, Dissolution of Marriage, Domestic Violence, Elder Law, Employment, Health, Housing, Individual Rights, Public Benefits
Case Restrictions: LSC restrictions


St. Louis County
Volunteer Attorney Program
Primary Address: 1000 Torrey Building
City: Duluth
State: MN
Zip: 55802
General Phone: 218-723-1742
Fax: 218-722-5480
Intake Phone: 218-723-4005
Counties Served: Carlton, Cook, Itasca , Lake, St. Louis
Case Types: All Civil: AIDS/HIV, Adoption, Bankruptcy, CED, Consumer, Custody, Dissolution of Marriage, Domestic Violence, Education, Elder Law, Employment, Health, Housing, Immigration, Individual Rights, Juvenile, Real Estate, Torts, Wills and Estates
Web Site: www.volunteerattorney.org/


Stearns County
Volunteer Attorney Program
Primary Address: 830 W Saint Germain St
City: Saint Cloud
State: MN
Zip: 56301-3513
General Phone: 320-253-0138
Fax: 320-253-9208
Counties Served: Benton, Mille Lac, Morrison, Sherburns, Stearns, Todd, Wright
Case Types: Adoption, Bankruptcy, Consumer, Custody, Dissolution of Marriage, Domestic Violence, Housing, Individual Rights, Public Benefits, Real Estate, Torts, Wills and Estates
Case Restrictions: Usual LSC restrictions apply.


Washington County
Washington County Attorney Referral Service
Primary Address: 275 3rd St S, Ste 103
City: Stillwater
State: MN
Zip: 55082-4988
General Phone: 651-351-7172
Fax: 651-351-9342
Counties Served: Washington
Case Types: Custody, Dissolution of Marriage, Domestic Violence, Housing, Wills and Estates

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double post. [Mad]

[ July 21, 2004, 09:05 AM: Message edited by: trustntruth ]

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Thanks for the research, Pa.

I have begun on your list. I found someone that I like. She used to work at legal services. She is affordable. She cannot do it pro bono, and she can't do it through legal services. She wants 2K retainer and she estimates the costs to be at least 10K.

I just filed for my unemployment. Looking at my earnings statement, I haven't even brought home $10K in the past 24 months! How can I afford that?

EEE GADS!

My husband called me the other night and he felt I had filed a false OFP. I told him that NO, I had not - he just doesn't get it.

I told him that the difference between abuse and non-abuse based on what we both agree - that he didn't "throw me into the fireplace" but rather threw me/shoved me off the bed and I cracked my head open on the fireplace hearth. (He believes he is not guilty of domestic violence at least for this incident because there was not "intent")

So, I said - so if it was your mother that you threw off the bed, and she cracked her head open on the fireplace - you would be sorry! You would feel bad. OR, if it were our son that you threw off the bed, and he cracked his head open on the fire place, - you would be very remorseful and feel responsible!

So, because it was me, you don't feel responsible? You mean to tell me that you think I deserved it? He said he didn't think I deserved it....

So, at least we are that far along in this process.

I am still praying the Lord will give him a repentant heart, and save his soul. And, I am praying that the Lord will hound him and not let him have peace until he is reformed, and to keep him away from me and keep me safe until such time that the Lord deems he is a safe husband, and then I pray that we are reunited. I pray the Lord will also keep us faithful. I know that the Lord has done that before, kept us faithful.

In the mean-time, I plan to take care of myself and that means getting a lawyer and fighting for everything that I feel I am entitled to.

So, my plans are made, and the Lord shall direct my footsteps.

Thanks again for the prayers.

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