I found out a while back that W had an EA. She tells me that nothing else happened, although I found out that on a trip 700 miles from home to spend some time with 'the girls' she flew another 700 miles for a four day vacation with the other man [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] Now after a suggestion, which wasn't very pleasant and also the hardest thing i've ever had to say, she broke it off and I think hasn't had any contact with the other man. Now I know I've made mistakes in meeting her emotional needs,(I learned that from reading HNHN) and I am now reading Love Busters. I ask her, not that often because she hates the question, how I'm doing meeting her needs. What I'm really asking is 'Are You Any Happier' but I never seem to get a response. I bought the book HNHN and read it first and even filled out the emotional needs questionaire and also left one for her that she never filled out. I bought the book Love Busters and started reading it hoping that she might read HNHN but I don't think she's even cracked the cover. One complaint of hers was that I didn't help her with anything! She is self employed and I have a full time job and was running a small business on the side aswell. Well I've come to realize it's like Sheryl Crow sings " It's not having what you want!! It's wanting what you've got!!" So now I've shut down the business and I try to do alot of the household chores all on my own. I've taken stewardship over our finances but it quite honestly doesn't feel like it's made a change in how she looks at me. I think all she can think about is the other guy and what could have been, maybe. What else can I do [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

Sporty,<p>This is going to take a long time. Be patient. I know you are hurting - like no pain you ever felt before, and I think you are doing pretty well under the circumstances.<p>"What might have been" is a fantasy. It's hard to compete with a fantasy, so don't try. Just try to be your best. Avoid arguments, meet her needs. It's terribly difficult. <p>You still have your W at home, so you have opportunity to meet her needs. Don't bug her with the question "are you happy". You will know when she is happy (I think). Surely, you will know when she is in love with you. <p>-AD