I could use some help. I cheated on my husband 7 years ago and lied about it. I finally told him the truth in August 2001. I love him and I know he loves me but he doesn't trust me and wants a divorce. I don't want to give it to him I want to work it out. I know he's hurt and angry but I think if he gives me the chance he will eventually see he can trust me and I won't do it again. He says I will because it's in my blood. I told him people can change and he said not you. I want my family back together, I miss him. I never realized how much I loved him and need him. Now, he doesn't believe me and I don't know how to show him anymore.

HDM, My wife and I are working through a similar
situation. She cheated on me while on vacation, and even though I sensed something had happened
she denied it until finally confessing to me this
past year. My pain comes more from the fact that
I was lied too,than what actually happened.
Honesty has got to come first!!! Spend some time
reading on this site. Ask your man for a trial
period, and communicate honestly. Sam

You have hurt him deeply. I know, my H also lied about his affair with my former best friend. I just found out last summer, it happened in the summer of 1995. 6 years of lies are very hard to deal with, almost worse than the affair. The very worst part was finding out she was in MY BED which has destroyed me.<p>Your marriage can be saved, but it's hard work. This is what worked for us:<p>-a 9 mos separation
-TONS of counseling
-reading. Torn Asunder helped us the most, it is good for both the bs and ws
-The article 'Shattered Vows' at findarticles.com
-prayer, lots and lots
-TIME
-forming a network of supportive friends whom I could vent to when I was sad/angry/frustrated<p>You have to PROVE to your H that you want the marriage. That means 100% complete honesty, even when you don't feel like it. <p>Tell him it CAN be done. Let him read my posts if it will help. We are in the exact same situation, except your OM probably wasn't his friend. Forgiveness takes time, and for me lots of prayer.<p>Good luck.