This is a letter I hoped to mail directly to Dr Harley, however I have not been able to sucessfully send it, so I appologise for posting it here, though I have edited the original version just to make it more appropriate here. Any advice from anyone would be gratefully received, as I really have reached desperation point. Thank You so much.


I have been looking at and considering your two courses available. My husband and I have been together for 12 years now and married for almost 5 years.

We have never really been happy together, realizing something was 'missing'
almost from the start, but for a number of reasons we always ploughed on trying and desperately hoping that we would find the magic ingredient that would transform our life together. If I am really honest, I don't think we have ever loved each other, however that is the greatest wish for us both.

Neither of us has had an affair during all our time together.

We now have a four year old son who wasn't planned, but we love him dearly.
We have been staying together mostly for the sake of our son, thinking that it must be better for him to be with two parents than just one.

We are currently living in Asia (we are British) and things have come to a head over the weekend, arising from watching the DVD staring Hugh Grant, Love actually would you believe?

With the start of school imminent for our son, time has all but run out on our dithering, and now we are talking (albeit from me very reluctantly) about my going back to the UK with our son. My husband at this stage wants to stay in Asia, saying he thinks space between us and the financial advantages (we cannot afford to buy and run two houses back in the UK). If he does this he will realistically only see Matthew perhaps once or twice a year. Obviously that really upsets me.

Look, please, the question I really am asking is, do you think the courses you devised now available could help us. Are they for couples that were 'in love' at some point of their relationship, therefore it is reasonable to suggest that they can find that again. Is it realistic to hope that wanting to be in love together is sufficient and that maybe we can learn or find that 'in loveness' that we all crave?

We really have so little time now to work this out, please if you can, let me know if I am hoping for too much. I honestly believe that we have reached the very end of the line this time, and only something pretty special could help.

I thank you for your time.