This is the first time I'm posting on this thread. I'm mostly on General Questions. Today I got served. We live in NJ but WH went to Vegas for a divorce.

Attached to the summons was a letter. Blaming me for the breakdown of our marriage. He didn't take any responsibility.

He said the reason why he got a Vegas divorce and didn't sit down and discuss this with me is because he was afraid I would commit suicide or bodily harm to myself. Give me a break!!!!

We been together for fourteen years, our anniversary was last Thursday.

He is just a coward!!! Couldn't face me face to face.

Here is a little outline of the events>

OW has always been trying to get into our lives, even though she was married to a wonderful man.

October 2003-WH starts A with OW

January 2004-OW told H about A, forcing my WH to tell me. We started to put our marriage back together.

February 2004-OW wouldn't leave us alone--then started making my WH feel guilty about the breakdown of her marriage, and told him that he owes it to her to stay together.

March 2004-WH leaves, saying it time to work on ourselves, so we can be better spouses to each other,

End of March-Found enough courage to go out, and found WH shopping with OW.

May 2004-went to Plan B

July 2004-Got served papers, WH went to Las Vegas after OW divorce became final.

Now what? I have twenty days to countersue or contest. Do I contact WH?

How to I save my marriage? I guess getting an attorney will help.

BTW-my WH abandoned emtionally, physically and financially.

Hire attorney.

Counter file with charges of adultery, cruel treatment, and abandonment.

Subpoena OW. Subpoena OW's xh.

Expose it asap to light of day and let it fly!

Sounds like an impusle thing to me...just a response spearheaded by OW who is desperate to get her way...people also get married in Vegas spur of the moment...think of Britney...She found her senses, got sober, and had it annulled a day later.

Your WS is running away from home basically. He's sending you a "dear joan" letter saying he's run away and isn't coming back but it's the same as a kid doing it.

Do you respond by giving OW and a child what they want? Heck no. You stand up to them and SHOW THEM WHAT HAS HAPPENED.

Let his family know, let OW's family know, let friends know. Let them IMPLODE internally and turn on each other now.

It's not a time to be faint hearted.

I'm not sure you can do alot right now except get an attorney and expose it expose it expose it.

Gather togeter tax files, paycheck stubs from WS, any affair evidence, and any other pertinent info you can muster up. Use the angst in your favor and swing into action. Tears can come a bit later.

He's hoping you will end things "nice and quietly" with him away from home so he won't have to see it. Let him see it.

What they have done is tantamount to running away from home. It's like something a teenager would do. Not smart and definitely spur of the moment probably driven by hormones/fog/affair/stuff. Not the result of clear thinking...Very few people do the Vegas divorce or the Dominican Republic divorce.

If it were me, I'd respond by saying that "well honey, I guess the cat's out of the bag. I sure wish you'd have picked a more romantic spot to sever the knot...like the Dominican Republic...You know, that's where the WAYWARD MOVIE STARS go to end their marriages and families. Doesn't she like the beach...But I know..I see your analogy. This whole thing in Vegas sure is a GAMBLE isn't it? Honey, I love you and want you to be happy and you can have your freedom and your vegas not so showgirl after I have MY DAY IN COURT. Everything is in full swing on my end and the truth will set me free. I've decided to start a new life and am at peace with my decision to file against you...No, this won't end with a signed piece of paper. To much has been left unsaid and no matters have been properly dealt with such as finances and properties..It is a shame you ran away from home to do this and couldn't stand up to me. I am sorry you chose adultery, abandonment and to treat me this poorly. But again, the truth shall set me free and it will be one day soon part of a lasting and legal document that anybody can access. You're hiding NOTHING by hiding in Vegas with her. God bless you. I pray one day we are allowed to talk together and see how this whole thing could have been changed or avoided. It can but this time YOU have to be the one to stop this. I am not going to. I hope you will be strong enough to think this through on your own...without her help."

Thanks,

I started back in May to expose, especially to people who know all three involved. They have been very supported of me, disappointed in WH and always had a bad feeling about OW.

My in-laws have been great. They have been my rock. They told me I'm family and always will be. They are totally against the relationship of OW and WH. WH hasn't had contact with them for four months. Totally abandoned everyone who loves and care about him

I was afraid he was actually going to D.R. for a divorce, before we separated I found a brochure the OW gave him on the Dominican Republic.

The OW is very smart, controlling and malipulating.

For someone who told me he would never get married again, Whats the rush then?

Maybe once the noose gets too tight, maybe the fog will lift.

WH took all the paperwork with him, but back in January, I found hotel, restuarant, and jewelry receipts. Made copies. Made a copy of a love letter she sent him. I even have a picture of the two of them together. Made copies of his credit card and bank statements. I hope that is enough.