As you may know I was served yesterday with a Vegas Divorce, we live in NJ. Today I'm going to find an attorney,

What questions should I ask?

I only have 19 days to contest or countersue, so I need an attorney immediately.

If anyone can share their past experiences or what I should look for in a good attorney, I would greatly appreciated it.

I need all the help I can get. Thanks

There are a few of us from NJ here on the site.
Please describe your situation more. Are there any kids? Assets? House? These will help determine the questions.

In general, NJ is a community property state - which means anything acquired during the M is split 50/50 (except for an inheritance which was not put in joint funds). Alimony only happens if the M was over 10 years, and in many cases is now rehabilitative rather than life alimony.

If you have children, I can provide more info on that. Is X living in vegas or still in NJ?

I don't know where Wh is living. His P.O. Box is still here in NJ and his mail box for UPS is still here in NJ. He has lost contact with his family also.

There wasn't any kids. We do own a business which he wants sole ownership of.

I have a house, which I inherited when my Mom passed away and he bought an investment property a week before we got married.

We have been married for 9 years on July 15th but been together for fourteen. He filed on July 9th. Clean out our joint account on the 14th of July. According to the summons, we are not suppose to touch anything joint related.

I do have proof of the A, with receipts, photos and letters. I do make more money than WH. He just abandoned me financially, emotionally and physically when he walked out.

I know lawyers can be costly, I just want to contest or countersue to buy some time and save our marriage, its only been 4 months since separation, not enough time for him to get out of his fog.

Now that I think of it, the lawyer put my name on my Mom's deed before she passed, to protect the house if my Mom had to go into a nursing home or pay off medical bills, So I don't know if that would be consider an inheritance. I had to wait six months before everything was official, she passed away six weeks after I joined her on the deed. I'm on the deed, but it wasn't for the full six months, so I guess that might be an inheritance. Good question for the lawyer.

I had a business issue too.
Are you seeing a counselor? If not, it would be helpful.
If you want to salvage your M, have you read all the MB materials on the site and on the web? If not, get reading. If it doesn't help save your M, at least you'll know you did all you can.
Many on the site tried to save the M's, but found the MB principles helped us to become better people in the process.

My e-mail is mcelros@yahoo.com if you want to write off line.

I have read MB philosophy, I wished I knew about it sooner. I found this website on Easter Sunday, our first holiday apart. I bought Surviving an Affair, and His needs, Her Needs. I also bought several other books. I have been in Plan B since May.

I have been posting on General Questions II since April, they have been so helpful. Also I have talked to some friends who went through what I am now going through, one is actually a counselor at Fresh Start. I also have talked to the Pastor's wife. I haven't seek a professional counselor because many are not pro-marriage. Many of them believe if you are unhappy get out of the situation and not try to find the root of the unhappiness.

At first I was listening to my WH which told me not to reveal, keep it a secret. This website gave me the reason why he said it and the reason why I should expose. I want to save my marriage, which right now seems hopeless but I'm not going make it easy for him to make a life with the OW.

I should have been more prepared for this. The OW is from Delaware, were you can get a divorce in less than six months. Her D just became final, so she must have been putting pressure on him. Couldn't wait the full 18 months in this state, had to go to Vegas. My questions, what's the rush?

I used the Fresh Start Separated/divorced recovery workbook. It was great.
The rush is to validate the current relationship. It has nothing to do with you, it's all about them. Selfish reasons.
We can't make someone love us. We can just be the best people we can be and hope they can see that through the fog.
Infatuations are intoxicating.
Good Luck on this.