Hi everyone-

Today is my youngest daughter's third birthday. The little angel I was three months pregnant with when her dad left to pursue his affair with the OW.

It is truly amazing to me that three years have passed since her birth. She truly has been a miracle child to me and everyone who knows her.

While I was pregnant with her I thought she would be our miracle marriage salvation, you know, the one true thing that would pull her dad back when nothing else would. I of course was very wrong. In fact to cover his affair and appear blameless in his desertion of his family he started publicly accusing me of having an affair and demanding a paternity test. Of course he flipped when I called his bluff and scheduled it, having the audacity to scream at me that these things were private and I was ruining his reputation. In the end he refused the test opting instead to take the moral high ground to accept the child without knowing if she was his for her sake. Whatever! I was faithful to him from the day we met and he knew it.

She was born at home. I gave birth by myself while her siblings slept in their rooms nearby. She came so quickly that I never made it out of the house. Talk about an amazing delivery! Her father showed up five minutes too late, (I had called him when labor began and he was suppototally kicked in the butt drunk and wanting to drive us to the hospital. Thank God my mom had arrived with him (I had called her to watch the other kids) and she insisted on an ambulance. In hindsight we probably should've called the police as he shouldn't have been driving.

When she was only six days old her father came over and announced to me that he was going public with his relationship and would be filing for divorce as soon as he could afford it. He said he had waited for this final announcement until I had given birth as he didn't want to cause me stress (oh yes, six months of pregnancy while separated and learning that your husband is having an affair aren't stressful at all!) I guess he hadn't heard of postpartum depression as that night probably would have been my best chance of offing him and getting away with it!

After her birth she gave me an overwhelmingly positive focus as she was so little and needed me so much. Her father of course ignored her completely, refusing to even hold her. He didn't even take her for a visit until she was 10 months old and that was only because the OW came home from college and found it unacceptable that he was having no contact with his beautiful baby. Of course letting her go by then was one of the most gut wrenching things I have ever endured.

When she was born my father was in the final stages of lung cancer even though he'd only been diagnosed a few months earlier. She became his ray of hope and to this day I am in awe at her resemblance to him. He called her his "Little Ray of Sunshine" and clung to her dearly until his death when she was only four months old.

As I look at her today she is a symbol of all that is good and beautiful in this world. She is one of my greatest blessings.

In her I see how far I have come these past three years and I see how far we have yet to go. I see love and a hope for a future that is so much brighter than my world when she first entered it. I see total unconditional love.

So happy birthday to my baby!

Take care and God bless!
K

Happy 3rd birthday to your daughter!!! May the Lord continue to bless her, you and your family!!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

What a touching story Still-

I can not imagine the pain you went through, and never imagined you to have had this wonderful child at home.
You must be such an incredibly strong woman!

Your X is the one that has lost so much in all of this mess, and may he see it one day!

She is such a blessing to you, and it is very evident in your post.
That must be the truth in the saying, that God doesn't close one door, without opening another.
She probably is your ray of hope, and exactly what you needed to get through the nightmares your X left you with.

From what I know of you through this site, you are a wonderful person, and an awesome mother.

Happy Birthday to your special daughter.

I hope you are doing well! I think of you often.

K.

A blessed day for sure...Happy Birthday to your dear little angel.

I understand your pain. My son was a preemie and born two mos. prematurely. I had preeclampsia and was hospitalized for nine days before he was born...Had over a month in icu and less than one year after his birth, his dad did this to us as well. His dad only began to "come around" by his age of three b/c the OWomen wouldn't find that kind of dad "appealing".

God has truly blessed you and I am praying that more and more blessings fall down on your and your sweet family.

Give her a hug and tell her that some of mommy's friends think she's wonderful and that we wish her the best day ever.

Thanks for all the replies. We had a simply wonderful day yesterday. The weather was perfect so we headed to the beach where we met up with friends, swam, played in the sand, and had a cookout.

Last night when it was time for bed she asked for me to snuggle with her, which is the ususal routine. However, she said, "No Mom, it's my birthday. I want you to hold me." So I held her in my lap, luckily she's really tiny, and we watched a video together. Right before she fell asleep she looked up at me and said, "Mom, you're the best Mom ever." I returned the compliment and then she closed her eyes and fell asleep. As I watched her sleeping in my arms I couldn't help but feel in awe of everything she means to me and everything she represents.

I put her to sleep and hung out with her older siblings for a while. We had a great night. Then we all went to bed. A while later I woke with a start and when I looked at the clock I saw that it was 11:15, the time when she had been born. It was a weird feeling as mind wandered back to how it all went down and everything that has happened since. Like so many of you, I have come a long way.

I guess I just posted this as proof to anyone out there who is struggling that there is hope and life does go on. For many of us it gets even better.

Thank you all my friends for sharing your lives with me and supporting me every step of the way in this journey.

Take care and God bless!
K