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#77516 05/20/02 11:48 PM
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 5
H
HDM
Offline
Junior Member
Junior Member
H Offline
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 5
This weekend that just past, my husband had our son. I'm not gonna lie, it was real lonely without him around, now I know how my husband feels. My husband always tells me I don't care what you do, don't tell me I don't want to know. Well Saturday I spoke to my husband and son and told them that I was going out to the store and I got the response that I always get. Well I got back later than expected and my son called 3 times, knowing that I went out. Now of course I feel really bad and I got the question - You said you would be back in a 1/2 hour. I never said that and why would I considering that no one cared where I was going. Of course I told my husband the complete truth and I got We know what you were doing and I was defending myself and started crying and yelling at my husband because 1) He always says I'm lieing
2) He starts calling me all kinds of names and
accuses me of things he thinks I'm doing.
He said I was so upset because I was guilty, NO, I am not guilty I was upset because I am trying so hard to show him that I am not cheating and lieing to him and I should be use to it by now but it hurts like hell still. I told him if he got off his butt and went to the store with me he would see I'm not doing anything wrong. Then Sunday comes and we talked once in the morning, then he calls me and said they were going to the diner if I would like to meet them (the diner is not in the same town and in the wrong direction of where they were going afterward) I met them. My son asked if I would like to go, I didn't answer because I didn't want to start any trouble. We left and my son asked again and I told him I didn't know if it was a good idea because I didn't know if his father would like it or not. Well, through some argueing my husband said lets go you won't have no fun(meaning business) today. I ignored him and I went with them. Well, he let me hold his hand once in awhile, gave him alittle kiss here and there and he wasn't to nasty. PRETTY GOOD DAY. Well, as soon as we get back to NJ, It starts again. He took us home and I went to give him a kiss and he turned his head. I said you let me before and he said it was for our son. Very Confused........I really couldn't tell you what kind of advice I'm looking for, a miracle would be nice if anyone has and extra. Ya know, even with all his comments and actions I do Love him and I do understand his feelings the best I can. But does it have to be like this all the time? We can really have fun together if he would just let himself, everytime he starts he stops himself. And if your reading this M, this is just to help US. I hope you don't mind.<p>SORRY IT'S SO LONG, I GUESS I JUST NEEDED TO TALK.

#77517 05/21/02 10:09 AM
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,457
B
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,457
I guess my first question is whether you have cheated on him in the past and this is why he feel so unsure of you. If you have not cheated then he needs therapy very strongly to understand his insecurity. If you have cheated in the past then marriage counseling is a must because he clearly feels that you will cheat on him again and this is his way of protecting himself. I wish you luck but I am unsure of your situation.

#77518 08/16/02 12:14 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 6
L
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L Offline
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 6
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by HDM:
<strong>This weekend that just past, my husband had our son. I'm not gonna lie, it was real lonely without him around, now I know how my husband feels. My husband always tells me I don't care what you do, don't tell me I don't want to know. Well Saturday I spoke to my husband and son and told them that I was going out to the store and I got the response that I always get. Well I got back later than expected and my son called 3 times, knowing that I went out. Now of course I feel really bad and I got the question - You said you would be back in a 1/2 hour. I never said that and why would I considering that no one cared where I was going. Of course I told my husband the complete truth and I got We know what you were doing and I was defending myself and started crying and yelling at my husband because 1) He always says I'm lieing
2) He starts calling me all kinds of names and
accuses me of things he thinks I'm doing.
He said I was so upset because I was guilty, NO, I am not guilty I was upset because I am trying so hard to show him that I am not cheating and lieing to him and I should be use to it by now but it hurts like hell still. I told him if he got off his butt and went to the store with me he would see I'm not doing anything wrong. Then Sunday comes and we talked once in the morning, then he calls me and said they were going to the diner if I would like to meet them (the diner is not in the same town and in the wrong direction of where they were going afterward) I met them. My son asked if I would like to go, I didn't answer because I didn't want to start any trouble. We left and my son asked again and I told him I didn't know if it was a good idea because I didn't know if his father would like it or not. Well, through some argueing my husband said lets go you won't have no fun(meaning business) today. I ignored him and I went with them. Well, he let me hold his hand once in awhile, gave him alittle kiss here and there and he wasn't to nasty. PRETTY GOOD DAY. Well, as soon as we get back to NJ, It starts again. He took us home and I went to give him a kiss and he turned his head. I said you let me before and he said it was for our son. Very Confused........I really couldn't tell you what kind of advice I'm looking for, a miracle would be nice if anyone has and extra. Ya know, even with all his comments and actions I do Love him and I do understand his feelings the best I can. But does it have to be like this all the time? We can really have fun together if he would just let himself, everytime he starts he stops himself. And if your reading this M, this is just to help US. I hope you don't mind.

SORRY IT'S SO LONG, I GUESS I JUST NEEDED TO TALK.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

#77519 08/16/02 12:16 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 6
L
Junior Member
Junior Member
L Offline
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 6
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by HDM:
<strong>This weekend that just past, my husband had our son. I'm not gonna lie, it was real lonely without him around, now I know how my husband feels. My husband always tells me I don't care what you do, don't tell me I don't want to know. Well Saturday I spoke to my husband and son and told them that I was going out to the store and I got the response that I always get. Well I got back later than expected and my son called 3 times, knowing that I went out. Now of course I feel really bad and I got the question - You said you would be back in a 1/2 hour. I never said that and why would I considering that no one cared where I was going. Of course I told my husband the complete truth and I got We know what you were doing and I was defending myself and started crying and yelling at my husband because 1) He always says I'm lieing
2) He starts calling me all kinds of names and
accuses me of things he thinks I'm doing.
He said I was so upset because I was guilty, NO, I am not guilty I was upset because I am trying so hard to show him that I am not cheating and lieing to him and I should be use to it by now but it hurts like hell still. I told him if he got off his butt and went to the store with me he would see I'm not doing anything wrong. Then Sunday comes and we talked once in the morning, then he calls me and said they were going to the diner if I would like to meet them (the diner is not in the same town and in the wrong direction of where they were going afterward) I met them. My son asked if I would like to go, I didn't answer because I didn't want to start any trouble. We left and my son asked again and I told him I didn't know if it was a good idea because I didn't know if his father would like it or not. Well, through some argueing my husband said lets go you won't have no fun(meaning business) today. I ignored him and I went with them. Well, he let me hold his hand once in awhile, gave him alittle kiss here and there and he wasn't to nasty. PRETTY GOOD DAY. Well, as soon as we get back to NJ, It starts again. He took us home and I went to give him a kiss and he turned his head. I said you let me before and he said it was for our son. Very Confused........I really couldn't tell you what kind of advice I'm looking for, a miracle would be nice if anyone has and extra. Ya know, even with all his comments and actions I do Love him and I do understand his feelings the best I can. But does it have to be like this all the time? We can really have fun together if he would just let himself, everytime he starts he stops himself. And if your reading this M, this is just to help US. I hope you don't mind.

SORRY IT'S SO LONG, I GUESS I JUST NEEDED TO TALK.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">[LIST] [LIST]

#77520 08/16/02 12:22 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 6
L
Junior Member
Junior Member
L Offline
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 6
HI HDM,

It's sounds like your H still loves you. He is just asting that way maybe becuase he feels you hurt him in the past but maybe if you and him would talk about how you could put this behind you maybe things will be better.I been through the same thing. you should send him cards. e-mail him. Talk things out. if he is calling you names thats not a good thing but he is hurt inside. i feel that you would be able to make it. i wish you lots of luck and may god be with you.

l


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