Hi everybody-

The furniture is a necessity as the old stuff is literally falling apart. I don't have enough throws to cover the holes, rips, etc. I am very excited as my present stuff is downright embarrassing!

I hear what you are saying about the money Karona. It is amazing that no matter how much more comes in it always gets spent. Glad your holidays went well. I can only imagine it was life changing having your mom for a week. I love my mom dearly, but sometimes when she hangs around too long in an effort to help she just makes things more work if you know what I mean. It is amazing how adding a person, even a well intended, helpful one can shake up the rhythm of a home.

Things are going better with the BF and I am thankful for that, but I guess only time will tell.

It would seem that all isn't well in lovey dovey land for your XH. Now let's hope he doesn't go and do what mine did and add a baby to the mix! Oh how the pieces of this puzzle keep falling into place exactly as predicted!

Well I better run.

Take care and God bless!
K

Hey Still~~~
WEll, it's sounds like once again I'm trying to compete, but really I'm not.
My couch sounds the same as yours. It's 18 years old. Has tears, rips etc. When we sit on it, you can hear the material rip more. Isn't it great!!

I can't wait to get new!!

So, there will be a baby. Isn't that something.
Gosh, how I can't imagine a baby in the mix of everything. I hope Miss WonderStep Mom doesn't forget how bad she wanted to mother your kids once the baby comes.
I can imagine, that you really don't care, but at the same time, how awkward the news must be.
As for my X, he would have to have a reversal for them to have one. You never know, it could happen.

I was trying to be gentle with the news of my mom being here for a week, but you hit it on the head. She always means well, but life is different with her here. All in all it went well, but sometimes I feel like she disapproves of my ways.

Glad you and your BF are doing well. Love to hear that.
How are you doing with Christmas? Have you done your shopping? Decorating?
I'm not moving too fast. I need to get on it!

As always, I love hearing from you.
Keep in touch.

K.

Hello-

Sorry I haven't written sooner, but my computer is down at home and it has been nuts at school with Christmas approaching.

How is everyone? I am doing okay. Actually I am suddenly more upbeat than I have been in months. A few issues have been taken care of and I feel like a weight has been lifted.

I am no where near ready for Christmas, but know I will get there. My oldest two have such expensive lists this year. I keep asking them what rich person they are confusing me with!

I got word today that my furniture is in and will be delivered Monday - YEAH! I get to go shopping this weekend with the BF so I am pumped for that as well. We always have fun as he is actually more of a shopper than I am. Who knows what else we will do as I am heading to the big city.

There was a baby scare last Thursday. I guess she was spotting and spent most of the night in the ER, however, it was nothing and everything is okay. Throughout the whole thing my kids have said that my XH has shown no emotion - GO FIGURE! My six year old also told me today that her stepmom is really happy that the baby is okay because my XH told her "she" only gets one. Have I told you lately how happy I am that he is my XH?

Well, I better run. Write back when you get a chance.

Take care and God bless!
K

Hey Still~~

It's good to hear from you again!
Missed ya!

Oh, I'm excited for you to get your new furniture. How great that will be. Let me know how it is!

I too am getting more into the swing of Christmas. I have the girls bought for, now I need to concentrate on the rest of my list. I'm going to Pitts. this weekend with some friends shopping. I'm hoping for success.

This Friday is my 1yr ann. date of divorce.
I have no feelings about it, I guess that is a good thing. It's just hard to believe that the year has gone by so quickly.

So, she only gets one! Isn't that funny. She won the prize didn't she? He's ALL hers!!!! What a gem! Hope she is proud!

Have a great weekend. Happy shopping!!

My oldest turns 14 this weekend. I'm excited about that. She is such a beautiful person. She has been through a ton, but she shines everyday.

Take care Still.
K.

OH Still, Have a quick follow-up after last nights visit with dad.

Seems OW/live in was in a bad mood AGAIN last night.
My oldest asked him, is she mad again? Seems like she is always in a bad mood.

He sad, really??
Then follows up with, yeah, she is going to the doctor. But don't tell anyone. She is in a bad mood all the time, and she wants to see if she can get medication.

HMMM, so I thinking, are we not happy?????

The other kicker was, as I'm sure they do at your school, yesterday was Santa's workshop.
I gave youngest money to buy. She bought for:sister, OW/daughter, animals, mom and dad.
As she was telling him who she bought for, he said, aren't you forgetting someone?? She said, who M? He said YES. She said, Dad, I don't think mom wants to give me money to buy her a gift.
Yep, this would be a 10 year old that has more sense than her father. My oldest chimmed in with, if you wanted her to buy her a gift, don't you think YOU should have given her money?? He then I guess saw the light. GEEZ!

Had to pass this along. I'm just thinking, things are finally starting to show there age with the ole romance that was soo worth it!

Have a good day.
K.

Hi Karona-

So how was your weekend in Pitts.? Did you finish all of your shopping? It was quite the weekend for you between the one year anniversary and your daughter's birthday. Were you able to celebrate before she went to her dad's? With all you have been through with her I bet birthdays are even more special! Celebrate! So how did the weekend feel in light of the anniversary? You are so much better off and have come so far.

Ironic that as you are feeling on top of things and life is looking good that you should be hearing that there are problems in fantasy land. It is amazing how many of these relationships become just another statistic. I rather doubt that my XH's relationship will unravel any time soon now that there is a baby on the way, but I know that it is far from happy. Oh well, we're better off without them and life is ours!

Well, my furniture came today. I can't wait to get home and see it. The kids don't know anything about it so they will totally freak! I am so pumped!

I had a great weekend with my BF and got all my shopping done to boot! Now I just have to wrap, yuck! Only two days of school left and they are going to be totally chaotic. Then it is off to vacation, which will be just as chaotic between the two houses and traveling as well. 'Tis the Season!

Well, I better run, my six year old is melting!

Take care and God bless!
K

Hey Karona-
Sky here-left you a post on our thread. Not sure if you had time to zip up there. Anyways, wanted to let you know that I am thinking and praying for you and your girls!

Wanting to send you an e-card to brighten your day and encourage you! Take care,,,

http://www.angelhugs.com/FollowYourPassions.html


Love
Sky

Hi Still~~

How is your furniture? Do you love it??
And what did your kids say? I bet they were so excited. Please fill me in.

Thank you for your thoughts!
I really didn't put a whole lot of thought into the actual day. It really didn't feel like anything. I knew it was "the day" but I didn't dwell on it.
I'm glad it's all behind me. That much I can say.

My daughter's b-day was special. She came home at noon on her B-day. I had gotten her a certificate for a pedicure! We went to the mall, and she had htat done. I also got her an outfit from her fav store, she was on top of the world, being a 14 year old teenager!
I had found this card at Hallmark. It was the first I picked up to read, but it made me cry so I hurried and put it back. But, again, I picked it up and bought it. When she read it, she cried, so, we both sat there and cried. My youngest was wondering what the heck was going on. It was one of those that fit her life completely, right down to the "sad and scary things that have happened in her life". It was a moment, for sure!

I did have a great time in Pitts. I got my shopping done in record time! But I was with a couple of serious shoppers. We 3 enjoyed ourselves though. We left at 6:30am and got back into town that night at 8pm!
Keep in mind it's an 1 1/2 drive, but, there was a lot of shopping in there.

I'm glad you and your BF enjoyed your time, AND you got your shopping done.
Things seem to be going well on that front, I'm happy for you!!
Will you have your kids for Christmas?
I wish you the Happiest Christmas, and a Healty Prosperious New Year!
You have helped me a lot this year, and I appreciate your time and thoughts very much!

Merry Christmas to you, and your family!

K.

Sky,

I haven't forgot about you. Thank you for your Angel note. You are most thoughtful.

I will respond to the other thread.
I wish you a Merry Christmas! Thank you again for your continued kindness towards me!

We are so lucky to have people like you on this board.

K.

Hi Karona-

Merry Christmas to you and your girls. May you treasure every moment together over the holidays!

The furniture is here and it is wonderful. The kids love it too. It is amazing how it changes the look of the room.

I'm happy to hear that you breezed through the one year anniversary of your D. I think it is so true for those of us who gave it our all, that once it is over it is over. I think living a good life and having a clear conscience really help. I wish you nothing but the best in the future. Remember, it is our time!

I'm glad your daughter's birthday went so well. I can just picture your Hallmark moment. It brought tears to my eyes. I cry at everything!

It sounds like you were a professional shopper my dear! I'm glad you got it all done. Isn't it a great feeling? I am done, but of course my kids keep adding to their lists - They really crack me up. Until this morning I didn't have any presents under the tree. I haven't had the time to wrap and we have a dog with ADHD who loves to drag everything off so I thought why tempt him. Anyhow, I wrapped some stuff early this morning and set it out before the kids got up. Within minutes of them being up they had tallied how many presents there were and who they were all for. I tell you, they are nuts! My youngest keeps telling me I am behind because her stepmother has hundreds of presents under their tree. I just laugh as she doesn't understand that just because they're not under the tree doesn't mean there aren't any presents.

I dropped the kids off at their dad's a while ago. He will have them until Christmas Day when I get them back. I am off to my BF's to spend Christmas Eve with his family. Then we are heading up here to have Christmas with the kids on Christmas Day and then Christmas at my mom's the following day. It will be busy but fun.

I truly wish you the best this holiday season. You deserve the world and more. I treasure the gift of your friendship and look forward to it growing!

Take care and God bless!
K

Hi Still~~

How did your Christmas go? I hope you and your kids had the best! And that you enjoyed your time with your BF and his family.

The girls and I had a very nice day together. The guy I have been dating came over in the morning for a couple of hours, and then left to go to his family's. It was nice for the girls and I to have the day, just the 3 of us.

You had me laughing about your dog. Cracked me up!

So how about New Years? What are your plans?
I'm heading South to be with my family. I hate to make the drive, its a 7 hour one, but it will be great to be with everyone.

My job is going pretty well. The girls seem to be managing fine without me. Imagine that! I think it's good for both of them. My oldest needs to be more independent. They rely on each other, and that's a positive.

I hope you are enjoying your break from school, and your kids.

Take care, and I will talk to you again soon.
K>

Hi stranger-

I'm sorry, but my computer is down at home. I got a virus and when I got rid of it it disabled my internet and so far despite numerous phone calls and instructions I have been unable to get it back. Then since I got back to school and have had a computer I've had sick kids. The youngest actually had to be hospitalized overnight for Croup, but they are all on the mend now.

I'm glad your Christmas went well. How was New Year's? Mine were both very nice and I got to spend a lot of time with the BF. Things seem to be looking up, finally.

I'm glad work continues to go well. Isn't it amazing how well our kids can do without us at times? It just means you have raised them to be responsible and self sufficient. It is good to hear they are depending on each other.

Any news from the XH's homefront? Nothing new here, except for a few new complaints about the stepmom being mean and such. Who knows, I can't do anything about it and so far it has been nothing serious. It should be really interesting come next summer when her baby arrives! I'm sure her true colors will really come back then.
I just know that I am back to peeling the youngest off of me and the older ones have been complaining more than usual. If anything it is definately strengthening our mother child bonding.
Well, I better run. Write back when you get a chance. I miss talking to you.

Take care and God bless!
K

Hey Still~~

Glad to hear your Holiday's went well, and that you got to spend quality time with your BF.
My New Year's was good, quiet. My D's and I went south to be with my family. It is a 7 hour drive.
It wasn't a big party, but rather quiet, and very family oriented.

I turned 42 over the weekend. Hate that! I'm working on joining the gym, trying to defy the age thing.
The guy I have been dating took me to dinner. I got Lobster, it was wonderful! Had a nice time.
However, then the following night I saw him and we seemed to argue for what reason I'm still not sure.
I'm at such a funny place now. I think I put so much of myself out there while trying to save my marriage, that now, I don't have it in me to worry about it. I told him I thought we should call it a night when we were not getting along, and boy did he get mad. He wanted to talk about it, and I was ready to pitch the whole thing.
He asked me out for a drink tonight, and I'm going, so we will see how this goes.

Latest news on my ex. Date has been set for 5/7. My girls were all upset that they set the date without asking them their input, as OW's daughter was in on the date decision.
X also offering money lately, which is very uncharacteristic. HMMM, wonder if he got a raise?? He may be trying to be Mr Nice, thinking that I won't ask for an increase.
I can't try to figure him out.

Things are pretty quiet on your x's front. I hate it for you that your kids dread to go there. That must be so hard.
My girls don't get excited at all about going, but go. If they had a choice, I think they wouldn't go with him much at all.

As I said, the job is going well. I can even say these days that I'm liking it. Hmmm, that was big!

Hope your computer is up and running. I think of you often.

Take care, and I will check back soon to see if you wrote.

K.

Hi Karona-

How are you? It is so great to hear from you. Happy belated birthday. 42 years young with the world in front of you. You go girl! You've only got 5 1/2 years on me. Remember age is what you make of it! Let me know how the gym goes. I have been pondering it, but have no time.

How did the date go with the man? I hear where you are coming from. You actually sound a lot like me right now. Things were going better, but they seem to be slipping back into the same old habits. I don't know, I suddenly feel a lot more liberated and am facing the fact that although I do love him and for the most part he is wonderful, there are some important things that we are in totally different places on and I think I need to face it.

Please don't say that by setting a date you are talking about marriage for your XH! How nice, things are rocky so let's get married. Just like my XH, but since he was already married they went for the baby!

Things are going quite smoothly for now, but who knows. He is spending money like crazy and I really don't know where he gets it. The plant he works at is threatening to shut down this spring and everyone is panicking, but not him. He is making babies and buying out the town - so totally him!

I am glad work is going so well. It is opening a whole new door for you.

Well, I better run. My computer is still down, but I will check back more frequently at work. I miss you!

Take care and God bless!
K

Hi Still..

I so much look forward to hearing from you.

And yes, date means, "the date". Getting married.
I hear you on that whole thing. From what I hear from my girls is that things seem rocky. What chance does this marriage have?? Time will tell.
Disgusting news on that front.
I guess OW's daughter spotted them in the tub together. Wouldn't you think that they could use some common sense around the kids??? I guess all things are not rocky! He makes me ill.
And to think I once shared a bed with this man. To think of it now hurts my stomach.

I just can't explain my whole issue with the man.
He treats me wonderful, he treats my girls wonderful. He is so many things that my x wasn't, but there is still a piece missing. I can't put my finger on it. I know that he would do anything and everything to make our lives happy, but yet there is a piece not there.
He is stable, has a good job, we laugh, he is emotional, gentle and caring.. I could go on, but yet there is an almost insecure side of him.
He and I had an agruement over the weekend. We have never had a fight.
The weirdest part is, I don't even feel like the relationship is worth a fight. I asked him to leave, but he wouldn't. We ended up talking about it, but I still have an uneasy feeling about it.
At this point, I just don't see this relationship going far.
It's a shame, but I think that's the truth I must face.

Thanks for the wishes for the b-day.
My girls got me a cert. for a pedicure. Love my girls!!!

I'm going to the gym tomorrow. I hate signing that line. I know right now I can only go about 2 days per week. It seems like a waste of money, but my body needs it.

I was so glad to hear from you. Hate to hear your computer is still not working. I'm glad you have access to one through work.

Take care. I hope you and your kids are all well.

K.

Hi there-

In the tub together! Nice parenting. Have they ever heard of door locks? A wedding, I take it the bride won't be wearing white!

I hear what you are saying about the man. Trust your instincts, there is something that is holding you back. My biggest issue continues to be the distance and two totally separate, but equally consuming lives. I don't know, a huge part of me says keep going it will be worth it in the long run, but what if it never materializes? Then there is the fact that he is the only person I have dated since my divorce, what if there is more to life? I know, the grass is always greener.

A pedicure huh? I've never had one. I personally despise feet. This summer I had my toe nails painted professionally and the thought of someone else messing with my feet gagged me. I don't know if I could handle a pedicure!

Good luck at the gym. I definately need to do something, but haven't found the motivation yet.

Any big plans for the weekend?

Talk to you soon!

Take care and God bless!
K

Still,

You always make me laugh!
I doubt either one of them has figured out the door lock. They are both equally self centered people.
I feel bad for her daughter. She is the one that endures the most in this whole messed up deal.
Hmmmm, about the dress. Maybe she will wear a two piece, so she can parade down the isle with her belly button ring that he is so proud of.
Goodness sakes, I wonder if they will grow up???

As far as the guy for me, I feel the same thing. I want to date others, but they are very few in my area. I would really enjoy the opportunity to date others. So far, I have had no opportunity.

Wow, I can't believe you haven't had a pedicure!
I'm by no means a fan of my own feet, but let me tell you, I do enjoy the treat.
I never thought I would like it, but I do!

As far as the weekend, My youngest has a b-day party to go to, at a beauty academy. She will love that. I think Sat eve. I may take the girls to a movie. We have not done anything fun in awhile.
How about you? Anything exciting going on??

Next weekend, don't know if I mentioned it. I'm going away for the weekend with girlfriends. I have never done this. We are going to a ski resort area. Not skiing, just goofing off. I'm looking forward to it. I will fill you in after I return!

It was great to hear from you again.

Hope your day is going well.

Take care,
K

Hi Karona-

I hope you had an awesome weekend. I would have replied sooner, but we ended up with a cold weather day. It was -40 with wind chill and my computer is still down at home.

My weekend was nice. I went to the high school basketball game Friday night with friends and then back to a friends house for a few cocktails afterwards. Saturday I headed to a halfway point and met up with my BF. We had dinner, went shopping, and hung out. It was nice.

Now to add to my personal dilemas, I have an eligible bachelor who would like to take me out on a date. He is definately a good catch, but in spite of all that is going on with my BF I feel that it would be cheating. I am so torn. I am having a hard time re-establing the closeness that fell apart by the distance that built up this fall. I am also torn as I am growing so tired of this distance thing. Advice?

Then, I have a friend whom I hang with in a group setting. He is male and he is married. He has been having some issues in his marriage and I just gave some pointers. Now the marriage is faltering even more and I feel him being attracted to me. I feel like such a hypocrite. I have been here done this, only on the other side. I should have seen the signs. How could I have let this happen? I know I need to cut off the friendship, but it really sucks as this wasn't supposed to happen. Advice?

Who would have thought that my life could have taken yet another soap opera turn?

I better run, but any advice is appreciated.

Take care and God bless!
K

I still check up on both of you through this thread.

About the friend, I'd tell him about MB and explain about the EN's and encourage them to read the site or the books. And if someone other than their spouse is meeting their top need, of course, they'd feel attracted to them. But we are adults and we have choices, and MB is a great way to improve a M, any M.

Hey Still~~~

oh my goodness. I never expected to read what I read.

HMMMMM, well, what I hear from your replies is that you may be at a point where you are ready for a more near, less distant relationship.
I know it's so easy for me to say this to you, because I know there are huge feelings involved here with you and your BF.
But maybe, just maybe, you should give this interested party a chance.
You may be in a spot where if you don't, you may always wonder.

You would have to be honest with your BF. Could you do that? How would he react? Maybe it would put your long distance relationship in prospective for you, and it clarify your feelings and where you are with the whole thing.

As far as the friend, goodness, that's tuff!
I think you may have to back off. I'm not implying in the slightest that you did wrong. I'm sure you had his best interest while talking to him and meant for nothing of the sort.
I think if you do talk to him, maybe suggest counseling, or MB as Newly did.
If it were me, I think I would back off gently. I know it must be hard because I'm sure he is hurting, but, to be fair to yourself and to not feel a part of it, I would try to keep some distance.

GEEZ, it hasn't been that long since we last chatted.

So, in light of myself wanting to date. Fill me in. How did you meet this elligle guy that's interested???
I'm happy for you. And what a boost!

Keep me posted on what you decide.
I think that you should think about it though. You deserve to enjoy your freedom at this point in your life.

Fondly,
K

P.S. Newly,

It was nice to hear from you again.

You are always welcome to join in.

K.