From where I am, it's better to fly into Newark, NJ (EWR), and there is transportation into NYC from there.
Keep planning away.

Hi again!

Well Still, seems like romance is quite in the picture for you. I'm very happy for you! Keep me posted.
I'm going to live through you for now.

Thank you for asking, but I have not gotten the official read yet on the MRI. I'm trusting that her neurosurgeon read it well. I have put so much trust in him.

Thanks for the info Newly! I will take a peek!!

How is the dating scene from your side? Are you still enjoying yourself too?

Hey, I'm next!!

Talk to you soon.
K.

K, you are next. The right person will just pop up so keep your eyes open in unexpected places.
Until then, enjoy all that life has to offer.
We all have many blessings in our lives to remember. Like the clean MRI.

Have a great day.

Thank you Newly, and you are so right.

That is a huge blessing! I'm very thankful.

How is your dating going? Well I'm hoping!

Thanks again,
K.

Dating still going well. Not too frequently with my schedule, and since he's a confirmed bachelor he's fine with time on his own. It's nice and easy and very low stress so far.
He had a colonoscopy yesterday with potentially bad news, he'll find out more next week. Uggh. Prayers may be needed.

I dated someone a few months post D who had cancer, and it reoccured and he died shortly after. I found out months later and looked up the obit. Very weird coincidence, since my X did his final emotional check out of the M after he had thyroid cancer (very treatable). I've had weird thoughts bouncing around my head all day.

And I have to go into the city for business on Friday, and for us in the suburbs, it's a game to find the best way in during rush hour. I estimate it will take 2 hours to get to where I need to be (about 55 miles). I'll be thinking of you while I'm walking around the high rises of Manhattan.

Oh Newly, that is all very disturbing news.

I will keep positive thoughts and a prayer for this guy.

That's very good that he is a no pressure kind of guy. That helps for things to grow in it's own time.

Yes, think of me as your walking around the big city. I'm sure that is a battle as far as getting there.
I have only seen this on TV, but I'm sure that is a pretty good idea of how it really is.

Keep us posted on your guy friend.

Take Care,
K.

Hi ladies-

Things have been very hectic here. I am sorry to hear about your friend newly. He is in my thoughts and prayers. Your daughter still is too Karona. I hope everything turns out well for both of you!

Nothing new here. I am looking to a quite weekend to finish catching up on some household stuff that I have been putting off forever. Someday I will catch up right?

Any big plans for the weekend? I looks like I have a date. That will sure break the monotiny of the house work! Newly I am glad to hear how easy going your relationship is. Enjoy and have fun in the big city!

Take care and God bless!
K

Hi and thank you for the continued thoughts Still.

I did get the final report today, and it read, no evidence of tumor.
This news is such a blessing.
If only her body could turn around and she counld discontinue the meds. That would be the miracle.

I don't have huge plans for my weekend. I have my girls this weekend. My x did not take them last night, so is having them tonight for a bit.
A friend of mine's boyfriends son is turning 21 so they are taking him out for a big night. I think I'm going to join them for a little bit to get out. Other than that, nothing planned.

You ladies have a great weekend. Enjoy your date Still. I will look forward to next weeks updates!

K.

Oh Karona- I am so pleased to hear about the great report. Now it would be so wonderful for her to be free of everything that the meds. do to her as well. She is on incredible young lady. I will keep her in my prayers.

How did your weekend go? Mine was pretty low key. I have been burning the candle at both ends lately so I took it pretty easy this weekend. I was pretty lazy. Went out with a group of friends last night though. The younger man was there as well. It was really fun.

I have also spent a lot of time talking with a friend who is really questioning where her life is headed. She has been divorced nine months and she isn't pleased with the way her love life is progressing. I am trying to be supportive and keep telling her that all things will happen in due time, but she is still discouraged. You ladies are all so wise, any ideas? I keep telling her to focus on all the positives as there are plenty, but unfortunately that is not enough. It isn't helping any that her XH has seemingly fell right into a new relationship.

Nothing really new here. I am ready for the snow to melt and spring to come. We have spring break in a week and I so wish I was going somewhere like the majority of people around me are.

newly- Any word on the boyfriend's tests? I am keeping you both in my prayers.

Peachy- If you read this, how are you? We haven't heard from you in a while. I see on another thread that the xbf, whatever you want to call him is seemingly waffling again. How are you handling it?

Well, I better run.

I hope you all had wonderful weekends and can't wait to hear from you.

Take care and God bless!
K

Hi Still,

Thank you for your support with my daughter. She is an incredible person. I pray for the day her life can change. But, for now it's keeping her healthy, and I have to learn to accept it.
It's very hard as a parent, to watch your childs life change completely, and you can't do a thing about it.
In a way, it was a death of the child I had, and a new one given to me.
I don't know if you caught Oprah on Friday, but Will Smith was on there, and he said something that really struck me. He said, you can morn what was, you have to more less celebrate the time of your life your in. In life, there is death, starting from the time you marry, and it's just you and your husband, then you have a child. The two of you are no longer, it's new with a child. And so on.
Anyway, that kind of hit me.
She is special, and she is smart, and we were so blessed that she did so well through it all. If only her body could function better.
Whew, enough of that! She reaches my deepest emotions.

So, you saw the guy again. Tell me, what are you thinking about him these days? It sounds like you are enjoying the time spent together. I'm so happy for you.
You have not mentioned the Xbf in awhile. Has he stopped calling?

I haven't been approached in anyway shape or form by anyone.
I know this is treading on shaky ground, but I think I may go to dinner with my on and off bf.
He is so kind, and we enjoy each other's company. I miss him so much when were apart. It's all a confusing deal. Don't try to understand, because I don't get it.

Hmmm, as far as your friend. Have you given her this site to come to? She would be in good company here for starters!
Gosh, I have no advice. I feel her pain. It's just not easy. And funny how our X's do wind up looking all happy, and life is good. If it is or not is another story.
She will have the last laugh on day though. We know that.
I guess if anything, maybe she should enjoy this time (as everyone says). At least she doesn't have any man turmoil!
I understand her pain, and it's not an easy time that is for sure.

Newly,
I still think of your bf, and hope that all is well with him.

Take care everyone.
K.

Thanks to both of you. He doesn't have a final diag, but if he hasn't heard back immediately from the doc, I see that as a good sign.

He is really a sweet, considerate, thoughtful guy.
I'm so amazed. I likely wouldn't have considered him before, but he's really just what I need right now. I dragged him out to dinner with a very old friend of mine on Friday night who gave him quite a perspective on me and on X. He told her he doesn't want to hear about him. She answered that my prior experience made me who I am today. She said she really didn't like X, but I wasn't open to hearing it at the time. She thought X was quiet, and felt he was hiding something. She told BF outright that she liked him and thought he was good for me.

I got to see a few different sides of him this weekend too, which helps in the analysis. He is a very respectful, well spoken gentleman - a retired Marine. I'm keeping him for a while.

I can't imagine being in the dating world. I think if I hadn't fallen into this, I'd still be out of it. It's just too hard.
Stay strong ladies, and keep working to be the best person you can be.

Also, do you still get meltdowns from your kids about the D, and how much it hurts them? My 7 YO melted down Sun. & Mon. nights, and said she knows I am happy, but they are not. They want to live in a house with both Mom & Dad. (5YO has begun drawing pictures of the 4 of us in the old house again). I dont' know what to think. X dropped the kids off on Sun. night with GF in the car. So I said hello to her and some small talk. I could tell it aggravated him. She's sweet and perhaps the kids are sensing something between X & GF that has them worried. I don't know. Any ideas?

I'm so glad things are progressing well for you Newly!
He sounds very kind, and that is great!

It seems to me also that no news is good news.
I will keep him in my thoughts until you tell us.

Isn't it funny how you find out these things from your friends. I had a friend tell me the same about my x, that she never did like him.....
If we'ed only known then what we know now. But, we really can't go there either or we wouldn't have our kids.

That's so sad about your girls. I know mine still want that "whole" home. In fact, just last night my youngest was teasing with me sort of. We were at a concert for my oldest. She said, there's an empty seat by us, we should have dad sit by us.
I smiled at her. I must have grown some. The thought of it didn't make me crazy. At one point I would have cringed to think of him sitting that close to me. Now, I feel like it wouldn't really bother me. Now, if OW was with him, that would still bother me.
I don't have advice for you. I think its sad though. It's a shame in all the cases, that the kids feel the hurt too.

Take care, keep us posted on everything.

P.S.
I'm putting the trip to NYC on hold for now.
I have two other trips scheduled right now that need to happen first, and try to fit in something for my girls this summer. I do want to come someday though.
If you come through Wheeling someday though, let me know. Maybe I could meet you for lunch somewhere.

Take care,
K.

I'll be driving through Wheeling on July 22nd and July 30 or 31st. This year I may drive only once (rather than the more typical 4 times/yr).
We're flying in May.

It is interesting about friends. My group of friends now (mainly divorced women) actually had a discussion on whether we would want to know if someone's partner was not right for them. We all agreed that we'd be open to hearing it. He's met all of this group of women too. The main concern is education and career differences, but I've only heard that from one friend. They all really like him.

Let me know when you want to head up this way. Spring - July get very busy for me at work, but I can always make room for visitors.

Have a great week ladies, and Happy St. Patty's Day!

Hi ladies-

How's it going? It has been a hectic week. It generally is the week before a break at school.

Not a whole lot going on here. Things are still progressing nicely with the man. I guess I will enjoy it for what it is and take it one day at a time.

newly- I can relate to what your friend said about your XH, I have heard it multiple times. I truly believe we need to trust our own instincts though, as even our closest friends see only what we want them to see. In any case, it sounds like you have found a great guy. Enjoy him!

As for the issues when your kids return home. I hear you on that! I have yet to hear the I wish you hadn't gotten divorced, were still married stuff to the extent it seems you are, although I know my oldest two would jump at it in a heartbeat.

What I experience is the return home meltdowns. Their other home is pretty much ruled by a domineering stepmother. Whatever she says goes. The kids have been saying frequently as of late how she treats their dad like a three year old, etc. They have no say in anything and she continually puts an end to a lot of things they'd like to do with no discussion or anything.

I on the other hand always make the final decision, but most things are open to discussion. I am also not on their case about a lot of the stuff that my XH and their stepmother are. Therefore when they get back home with me they let it all out, the pent up energy and emotions. It can be very taxing to say the least.

I really have no advice as I wish I could find some myself. Sorry.

Karona- Did you call the guy? What do you think it is about him that makes you miss him so when you are apart?

Happy St. Patty's Day to you all!

Take care and God bless!
K

Hello to you both!

Newly,
I have a trip planned tenatively myself the weekend of 7/22, but maybe on you way back through I can catch you. We will talk as the time gets closer. Do you travel through Washington, PA to get there? Not sure of your route.

Thank you for the invite. I have put it on hold for the time being, but maybe one day!

Still,

So glad things are going smoothly for you. That is so neat! I'm truly happy for you.

Hmmm, now, for me.
Yes, I did call him.
You asked me what I missed when were apart.

I'd have to say, conversation, companionship, and I did fall in love with him along the way, which is so hard to shake, and I miss his friendship.

SO, I guess the huge thing is his companionship.
Although, after I date him for awhile, I feel I need a break.
I have come to the conclusion, I want nothing right now that resembles a committment. It always feels like that when I date him.

There are so many great qualities about him that I have always wanted in a man. However, there are a few that drive me crazy too! (the good outweigh the bad by far).

I need a larger group of friends to keep my mind occupied on the weekends I don't have my girls.
I have 3 single friends. Two are always busy with their bf's, and the other one doesn't like to go out.

I always appreciate your kindness and caring when it comes to this whole thing.
I know it's crazy, and I don't get it half the time, so I can't expect anyone else to.

Take care,
Happy St. Patty's to you both also!
K.

Yeah on the men's front.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> when they get back home with me they let it all out, the pent up energy and emotions. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I know this to be true, and I hope that I am doing the right thing by allowing them to express their emotions. I think they really do need to get it out.

I forgot to wear green today, but then I'm not Irish anyway.
Take care ladies and enjoy the day.

Yes, I drive 70/76 west thru wheeling (which is 1/2 way). There are so many times I get tired and want to stop driving in Wheeling, where it is impossible to get a hotel room due to the casinos. So sometimes I end up stopping in Washington.

Hi Newly,

That would be so great! Washington is an hour from me.
If you ever came through and stopped there, I could meet you for lunch or something.

I didn't wear green either, and I do have Irish in me. Shame on me!

Have a good night all.
K>

Okay you two, I wore green and I am Irish. I was also able to convince all four kids to wear green, but it was admittedly easier with the younger two!

Being from Wisconsin, you two have me totally clueless with all of your east coast locations. I would love to meet up with you both sometime though.

As for the man situation Karona. It really seems to me that you are afraid of commitment to a point and I think it is something that we all wrestle with having survived what we have. You have to keep in mind that it hasn't been that long since you went through hell. That said, really look at what you want and why you feel this way. It seems to me that you really have a lot of feelings for him, and remember nobody is perfect. There is obviously some reason that you can't live with or without him. Now you need to decide which is worse and why.

I am babbling now so I will quit. You deserve the best and we are here to support you no matter what you decide!

Happy St. Pat's!

Take care and God bless!
K

Still, your the best.

I always am afraid of being judged, and you always come through for me.

I don't know what I want right now to be completely honest. And that is why I back off from him all the time. I feel it's more fair to him that way.
I think it scares me too because now I know what the marriage committment is all about.
I know this guy would be wonderful, in the right time, but it's me I worry about.
I know I have a LONG way to go before I can give my all.

I hate it that you live so far up. I'm not trying to leave you out at all. If there were a point where we could all meet I would be up for that.

I do know, it wouldn't be the same without you there.

What are your plans for the weekend? I'm thinking you have your kids this weekend.
I think I will have dinner with the guy one night, and church, other than that, no plans.

Take care. Talk to you soon.
K.