Why does the lying still surprise me?
Why when the divorce is going is WS still lying? What is the benifit from it?

I assumed (once again) that there are problems, we are getting a D, but it would be above board. I read the stories here, I hear what goes on in my divorce care class and I say to myself. I am blessed. Even though this D is not painless (by all means) our relationship (WS and mine)still has some type of starting point for the healing to begin.

I am trying so hard for that balance in my life now. To know that the lie went on for so long and is still going on is a hard blow.

There is so much I could write about WS and OP, but what is the point?

I want out of this melodrama, and I want to find a place to start the healing for myself and for my kids. I want my kids to say "even though my parents got divorced they both love me and they were able to put there problems aside for us".
Is this too much to ask for even when the lies continue? How do you co-parent when you can't trust a thing that WS says?

Divorce is caused by lies

so, best bet is to end the lies, tell each other, and come clean. Ask your spouse for forgiveness for your lies and forgive them theirs, and express good will as you depart ways. Settle and go on.

Be a truth person. Don't worry if the other side lies, decide what you want, and stick to it. Be fair. Focus on the future not the past. Where do you want to go, post marriage. It will be great!

Divorce may be based on lies and my lie seems to be believing WS instead of what was before my eyes.

I have seen posts time and time again that state BS need to take some responsibility for WS "straying".I don't believe a spouse should be so suspious of another spouse. WS was confronted, was counseled with, etc. and WS kept the lies up. When the truth would have been easier. Even when D was stated the lies kept up.
I take my resposibility to a point, but after that point WS has the biggest portion of those problems.

God and my kids are the only real items I know that have helped me stay focused on the future.
I thought everything was going as smooth as it could go. I did not realize that I am married to a serial liar.

All my life I have been told that I am a polyanna. Always seeing the good in people. I don't want to change that. I don't think I should have to, but I don't want to be walked on either. I now have to try and find that balance. To know WS before and to know WS now is like knowing night and day.

Its all fresh. I found out the lying has been going on for years. I am feeling overwhelmed because I am moving (and all that entails), the A is still going on and most likely a marriage is in the future.

Things will get better. They have too. I do not want my kids thinking mom is a very unhappy and bitter person. I don't want to feel bitter and angry because of how it makes the heart so heavy.

I know this conversation is rambling, and unfortantly that is what my mind is like at this moment. As I have told WS I want out of this marriage as cleanly and as fast as possible.