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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 5
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 5 |
What do you do when your husband screws the old babysitter who is 19 and he is 38 years old and we are seperated, but i love him
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 35
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Member
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 35 |
Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do. You did say it was the old babysitter, so you can't fire her. You and your hubby are seperated, I understand that you love him, but you can't make him come back. But he is committing adultery as long as he screws around during your seperation. So just be the better woman and stress that you really don't approve, but don't nag him and show him you are angry about it. When you nag and argue...you tend to push your H away. Be patient and maybe things will work out eventually. Print out two copies of the Emotional Needs Questionare. That way you both can take the test to better help you understand one another.
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 131
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Member
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 131 |
Were you separated whenever it happened? Is it the only time he has cheated?
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 9
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 9 |
Something to remember: You don't want yourself, (or any children potentially concieved) in danger of sexually transmitted disease. This girl might only be nineteen, but there is still high potential for dangerous contact. Bear this in mind, even though you love your husband, use wisdom in protecting your emotional and physical safety!!!
Hugs!
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 5
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 5 |
HURRICANE SWEETS - I cheated on my hushabnd 7 years ago and finally told him the truth and details. Yes, we were seperated and he has been questioned about her before. He's to friendly and likes to flirt. I don't have proof, but i think something might of happened a few years ago but he denies it. There was rumors going around and confronted my husband and her mother but all was denied and I was told "Don't you feel stupid", NO, I DON"T. Her mother said he's like a father figure, SOME FATHER FIGURE. I'd rather not have one. and as far as him cheating, I was with him and our son and his phone rang and it was a different girl, so I guess he's not done yet, he said he's working on this one. I'm disgusted with the whole thing. I know I was wrong for what I did, but the babysitter!
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,649
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Member
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,649 |
Well, this is one fine kettle of fish.<p>You two really need some help here. I suggest marriage counseling. It would probably also help if you did the Emotional Needs Questionnaire from this site as well. There are certainly some problems in this marriage.<p>You were both wrong in your actions---it doesn't matter if it was the babysitter, the milkman or the neighbor. I don't think it would be any less of a problem if he had cheated with someone other than the baby sitter. I think that you are feeling betrayed by BOTH of them. Her excuse might be that she is young and stupid but what is his? <p>If you are going to work on the marriage, you should ask him to end all contact with other women. How can he work on more than one relationship at a time? You can't, at least not effectively.
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