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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 403
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Member
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 403 |
I've had a bad week. WH called once, on Wednesday. It sucked to talk to him, he is an absolute jerk! I'm trying to stay dark, might as well get used to it, huh? It is so hard to think about not being with the person you've bonded with for 21 years. I am in withdrawal big-time.
I feel like total cr*p. I have been reliving the A again...I feel like I have lost ground in how I feel, all the hurt has bubbled to the surface. I am journaling like crazy, writing down the stuff I had "forgotton" about.
Severe knot in my stomach this week. Got approved for my new credit card and plan to file when I receive it, after session with SH next Thursday.
Our house goes on the market on Monday. This is it. I am moving when it's sold. My WH has hurt me beyond repair. I am broken.
Sorry about the ramble...
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 403
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 403 |
Well, had counseling with SH today.
I had booked an appt for myself, I guess to get his "blessing" for a D. Well, Fogman wanted to join in (all of a sudden so concerned about our M), so we did a conference call. Then Steve talked to both of us alone. Before I knew it, I was saying I'll do another appt. next week!
Fogman has A LOT OF work to do.
I am set on a D at the moment. I was planning to file next week, but I promised SH I would wait.
Unless I EVER see some action from the Fogmaster, there is no way I'm letting his lying butt back!
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 2,076
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Member
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 2,076 |
WAID,
Hey, maybe good things will happen for you.
I'll tell you, going through this D process is just a different roller coaster ride than trying to ride out the A. It's getting uglier than it should be, and D is really devastating. It's such a loss. And sort of like you said in your previous post, it is so hard thinking that this person you've been bonded to for, in my case, 23 years, may be gone.
But in my case that person is gone. I just have to keep telling myself that unless that person ever comes back (and that'd have to be BEFORE he M's the OW, as I think that may be under discussion now), I am better off doing what I'm doing.
I wish you the best. It can't hurt to give SH a couple sessions with you. Keep us updated.
LL
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