Has anyone filed their own dv papers? I have typed my dv papers waiting on WH to call to set up time to meet at notary. I was just wondering what I might expect.

j

<small>[ August 10, 2004, 04:15 PM: Message edited by: r & j ]</small>

I forgot to vent a little. Today is the first that my WH contacted anyone in my family. 7/31/04 I told WH to leave because he forgot to come home from work. Also he wasn't supporting his family emotionally or financially. What I mean is when he was at home he was usually sleeping. We have a 13 month old son. He started his affair the day our son was born. We have been married since March 93, high school sweethearts.

Anyway. I was upset today when my mother called to let me know WS called her to see how son's surgery went. She told R that the surgery didn't happen Monday as planned, son had to have emergency surgery Thursday night but J didn't know how to contact you. R told mama his emergency number but not to give it to me.

The nerve of him. I didn't screw around and I am be treated like I made the mistakes. I could care less where he is or who he is with. It is not like I have harassed him before.

I guess I am just venting. This is so stressful. How does everyone deal with this?
J

The stress will continue for quite some time.

If custody will be an issue, make sure you have a parenting journal. This is a book, or online log where you write in important items. Like:
Son went for emergency surgery on x/xx/xxxx but I had no current phone number for STBX so i couldnt' contact him.
X refuses to give me a contact number.
X has seen DS on Tuesday X/x/xx for 2 hours.

Etc. This may come in handy, esp. if son has medical problems.

<small>[ August 30, 2004, 11:08 PM: Message edited by: laura_lee ]</small>

Thanks so much for the advice and stories. If I could get WH to call me to setup a time as easy as it was to get an answer from this group.

How long will it be before I can really concentrate on the things in my life. I go to work and try to work and end up thinking about my single divorced mother that is 29 years old. this is not fair.

But at times I am happy because I don't have to worry about him anymore.

I am just venting.
J

I have typed my dv papers waiting on WH to call to set up time to meet at notary.
You don't have to wait on him for anything.
You fill out the papers and them file them at the courthouse. Once they are processed, you can give/send him a copy. He can sign a "waiver of service" paper, which simply states he received them. It is not in any way an agreement to the divorce.
If he doesn't/won't sign the paper, you will have to serve him papers with a process server.

How long will it be before I can really concentrate on the things in my life.
That is what you should be doing now...

I go to work and try to work and end up thinking about my single divorced mother that is 29 years old.
You were married in '93 and your mother is only 29 years old?

Chris
I go to work and try to work and end up thinking about my single divorced mother that is 29 years old.

Opps that should be. ...thinking about me being a single divorced mother at 29 years old. Yes, I did get married in March 1993. 17 years old. No reason just in love (or so I thought)

I thought if we both sign the papers then once the judge reads them we wont have to wait. I have a problem with him being served because I don't know where he is living or where he goes. I would love for him to be served in a public place so he would get embarassed. But that would not be my luck.

J

I'm not a lawyer but I used to watch Perry Mason as a kid. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
Make sure to find out specifics in your location

thought if we both sign the papers then once the judge reads them we wont have to wait.
He may never "find the time" to get with you on this.
File then give the papers to him along with a "Waiver of Service". Pretty much the same thing.

I have a problem with him being served because I don't know where he is living or where he goes.
There are three ways to do this.
1 - Waiver of Service - He signs a paper acknowledging he received the filed divorce paperwork.
2 - He gets the papers delivered by a process server.
3 - Publication of notice in local paper. You can use this if you do not know the whereabouts of the other party. (I did this. My ex split and would not let me know where she was)

Usually there are 30 days to reply. If no reply is received by the court, then the divorce goes ahead uncontested.

If he signs a waiver of service, and he doesn't contest the divorce and it should go through no problem.

As far as him getting served, it's not that embarrasing. A guy walks up and asks if you are John Doe and he hands you papers in an envelope. That's it.

CHRIS,

Thanks for your advice. I have made a decision. I am going to give WH till Monday am to call me if not I am going to court house to file papers. I will have them served to a friend of his that he is working for (cash money). When WH was moving out I asked where to send papers to, he said I could send them to the friends. And that is what I am going to do.

I am feeling very good about myself today. I have plans to attend a wedding this weekend. I have been taking care of myself physically and emotionally. Best of all, I have been spending lots of time with son.
J

You can't have them served to a friend. Your h can simply say he never received them.
A process server has to give them to your h. The server certifies with the court that he delivered the papers the person named in the papers.

Talk to the county clerk about this when you file the papers.

You can mail them to the friend. He can give them to your h and he can sign the waiver of service.

Update

I saw WH Monday night. We discussed the dv papers. He was upset, said he would fight for son before paying me $1200 cs a month. We also talked about meeting on Tuesday night so he could see what I had typed in the papers.

So Tuesday night, I loaded up son and went to meet WH. Of course he was not there. But I saw the OW. I asked if WH was coming, she said no. I told her that I had son and we (WH & I) were suppose to go over dv papers. OW said she knew that. I said well tell WH that son and I was here to go over papers call me when he wants to look at them.

Now I know that it wont be $1200 a month more like $450. The nerve of WH not showing up. My mother thinks he is avoiding getting dv.

This is just a vent.
J