That’s right… the STBXW had me arrested. For what you may ask??? For simply having my boys call her to say goodnight. Here is the story…

Wednesday night the kids and myself and my family are celebrating my sons 5th bday by going out for pizza. As I’m loading the kids in the car my mom tells me I have some company. I turn around to see this gigantic Isanti county sheriff blocking out the sun (I think they have a height and weight requirement up here… all the sheriff’s deputies are HUGE dudes). He tells me that I’m being served a harassment order on behalf of my WW. He said that he didn’t see anything in there that would prohibit normal contact with her, just nothing harassing (by the way, the only thing on the order that the judge found merit in was that I call her to often. However the part of the equation that I’m sure was left out for him was that I get to call an unlimited amount of times to speak with my kids between 6:00 and 8:30 when she has them… it is in our mediation agreement which a judge has signed. WW though, never answers her phone so I call every 10 minutes until she either does or my time is up.) I said ok, thank you and took the order. We were late for dinner and some other folks who were meeting us were already there so I just put the order in the house and we left. This was at about 7:00 p.m. By 9:15 p.m. we had gotten home and everyone had left. I got the kids in their jimmies and we brushed teeth and all. As I’m standing at my kitchen counter reading over the front page of the order, noting that the only boxes that the judge had check said I couldn’t harass her… the ones that would prohibit contact of any kind were left un-checked… I dial WW’s cell number so the kids could say good night to her. She answers, I say “Hi, how was your day?” She replies with “Fine, yours?” I say “Wonderful!” in a cheery voice. She asks to talk to the kids so I give them the phone. When they are done talking to her they hang up. I put them to bed, we say prayers, yadda yadda yadda. About two hours later two Cambridge police officers are at my door asking what the problem is. I am totally be-fuddled. “I have no idea.” I tell them. Now, these two officers have been involved a couple of times with us as WW seems to think that the P.D. is her own personal henchmen that she can call whenever she doesn't get her way. The arresting officer asks me “did you get served papers today?” “Yess” I say. “Did you call WW?” he asks. “Yes, my kids did to say goodnight.” I replied. “Did you talk to her at all?” “Yeah, I asked how her day was.” I say. “Why?” He asks me. “Well…. I guess because she is my wife and I care about her.” I say in a very calm and UN-sarcastic way. “Well” he says, “…you violated the order.” So he shows me on the top of the second page (that I hadn’t gotten to yet by the way…) were it says that if this was a no contact order I can’t contact her either directly or otherwise. I plead with him that the front page doesn’t say anything about N/C… just harassing behavior. He tells me that is for a judge to decide and that he has no choice but to take me in. He has to… it isn’t up to his discretion. So, I had to wake my sleeping kids, get some clothes on them, take them downstairs to were the two officers were, put shoes on them, and take them outside to were WW was. Then after they left, the cops cuffed me and put me in the car. They were nice enough to wait until after the kids left so they didn’t have to see that.

Now, the officers were absolutely pissed that they had to arrest me. They have dealt with WW enough now to realize how she is… they knew I was set up. They were extremely nice and as accommodating as they could be under the circumstances. Everyone involved was actually great given what they had to do… the cops, the jailers, the DA’s office… everyone was angry that she did this and that I had to be there. So, after a nice 12 hour stay in the clink… my attorney had the DA drop the charges and I was set free. The DA actually read the order and agreed that it was NOT a N/C order at all and that I should have never been arrested in the first place… the cops had it wrong. I don’t really blame them though, they were only doing what they thought was the right thing and that is a pretty impossible job at times… so no hard feeling on my part. These guys are my neighbors after all… not right next door… but in the same development. They can see how WW is, they can see that this is a crock. At one point while on the way to jail, I said something to the effect that I couldn’t have imagined her being so vindictive and spiteful. While driving, the arresting officer turns completely around and looks at me and says “Couldn’t you…??? You couldn’t have imagined her being this way???” A little stunned, I say “Huh?” He proceeds “Man, I’ve been involved with you guys a couple of times and I could see this coming. She is playing for keeps here…”

Anyway… my attorney is doing back flips with how this makes her look in the custody battle. He tells me that WW did all of this behind her attorneys back and that her attorney would most likely rip WW a new one when she finds out. And the evaluator will not be happy to see that WW find coparenting as harassment and that she feels like I need to be punished for being a good dad. He tells me (my attorney) that she has all but lost her case for custody. So, in that sense, if I had to spend a night in jail in order for the best outcome to happen for my kids in the custody case… I suppose it was worth it. It just wasn’t much fun.

<small>[ August 13, 2004, 02:05 PM: Message edited by: Want My Wife Back??? ]</small>

That really sucks that she did that to you. I hope YOUR attorney rips her a new one in court and it works out for the best in the end. I would have gladly spent 12 hours in jail if it would have helped me get custody. Also glad to hear you aren't POed at the deputies for doing what they thought they were supposed to do. Everybody makes mistakes. So, after pulling this [censored], do you want her back now?

I worked with a sheriff's office in Texas when I was in college and I really think their hiring policy was based on shirt size.

Want My Wife Back,

So how was life on the inside <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

My guess is that she is trying to make you look bad for custody purposes. Hopefully it will backfire on her as your lawyer says.

Good luck and don't let her get the better of you. If you have to play her game for a while, it will be worth it after the custody hearings.

WIWH

When you're in prison
don't turn the other way--
keep your back against the wall.
When you're in prison
don't turn the other way--
or you will take a fall.

Oh don't pick up the soap,
pick up the soap
it's bad for you.
No don't pick up the soap,
pick up the soap
we will help you make it through.

When you're in prison
be sure to stay awake--
lay upon your back.
When you're in prison
be sure to stay awake--
or you will be attacked.

Ph don't pick up the soap,
pick up the soap
it's bad for you.
No don't pick up the soap,
pick up the soap
you can make it through...

you can make it through!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

(What did you do with those fancy flip flops??) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

* * * * *

My ex also did the same thing. He was verbally, mentally, and physically abusive for years (like 10+) and I didn't call the cops. When I got the solid evidence in my hand that he had had sex with OW, I slapped him across the face, and he had me arrested. Like you, the police officers in my case were sorry and knew they had the wrong person in handcuffs, but they had to do their job and I didn't hold it against them.

So I empathize with ya big guy, and thought I'd throw in some death jokes at this funeral. I'm sorry your WW is so vindictive, but facts is facts and she is. I would strongly suggest that all future interactions between you and her are either video-recorded, tape recorded, or observed by a third party, because she will do anything and everything to schmear you. Oh, and BTW, when the kids call to say good night--don't speak to her AT ALL!!! Not even pleasantly with a happy tone of voice. Let her stew in her own juices.

Fellow convict, with a tatoo to prove it,


CJ

Well hello guys… thanks for the response. At least everyone here didn’t find the need to focus on how much I try to call and say goodnight to the kids… on GQII they kinda went nuts chastising me for calling to much! I don’t think they really got it that all I want to do is talk to my children… nothing else, no hidden agenda, no anything. Oh well… they can think what they want I guess.

Jeff:
How ya been lately??? I haven’t been hang’n around the site too much, life is move’n on and I find myself with other more productive things to do rather than wallow in this mess my marriage has deteriorated into. To answer the question though, HELL NO !!! I don’t want her back. I just want this over so I can move on… I just want what’s best for my kids and to get on with life.. the sooner the better. How are things in your situation going these days???

WIWH:
Life on the inside???? …in the “big house”???? It SUCKS!!!!! HUGE!!!! I did 12 long… <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> hours that is… and couldn’t wait to get out. It is an increadibly helpless and lowly feeling. I was in the holding pen, which is the equivelant of solitary confinement for about the first 10 hrs or so… and it was just terrible. No windows, no clock, no sense of time or anything… ugggghhhh. Go figure though, the whole week prior it was about 65 degrees and cloudy and rainy here, then I get locked up and it is 75 and sunny… what the f…..!?!?!?!? On top of all that… the coppers haul me off on an erroneous charge, hold for all that time, then when I’m released they don’t even have the courtesy to give me a lift home! I had to walk the 2 miles from the P.D. to home! Gee, thanks guys! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

CJ:
Clever poem… is that meant to be set to music??? Sort of like the song “…nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen…. Nobody knows my sorrow…” Did you compose this while running your little tin cup across the jail bars???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Well, I scheduled a hearing to fight the order on the 30th of this month… but until then I don’t get to call and talk to the kids at all, which also sucks! Nor can I have them call her while they are with me. It is stupid because the order doesn’t say I can’t talk to her… I just can’t harass her… but my attorney feels it too risky and strongly advised me that for now N/C would be best.

Which gets me thinking… what better way to have a plan B if I wanted one (which, again, no thanks)!!! A whole year not having to be involved in her drama… without having to deal with her… OMG how nice would that be!?!?!?!? Hmmmm… maybe I ought to cancel the hearing and just call her bluff… let the order stand???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Can't call your kids at all? That really sucks. Do your kids Know what is going on and understand. I'm afraid I would be spending every other day in jail over that one. I hope the JUDGE rips her a new one in Court. Surely there will be a special place in hell for her to burn throughout eternity for this one.

My Dv was final 3 weeks ago yesterday. When the kids and their mother met with the ad litem, my youngest sat in his mothers lap and told the ad litem that he wants to live with me. I'm so proud of him. He tells it like it is, let the chips fall where they may. My oldest took the stand and told the judge he wants to live with me. The ad litem reccomended to the judge that WxW get the kids because she has been the primary care giver. My attorney did a good job of exposing that she has issues with the truth and fidelity (I'm learning not to say lying slut) but that made no difference. I got the last thing in the world I ever wanted, the every other weekend plan. We don't have the final paperwork yet but I am pretty sure it will be just like the temporary order. Thats what happens when you are a faithfull husband who works his a$$ off for 4 years so she can stay home and take care of the kids and not have an outside job. I think I'll get them within the next 2 years, til that day we just do the best we can with what we have to work with. This could have been over in March if I had settled and agreed to this same deal. Would have saved me $$$ too. But if some day when the kids are old enough and they want to know the truth, I'll have the paperwork to show them I fought like hell for them. The only thing I would do different if I was doing it over again is my attorney. I went with the smartest one around and he did a good job. If I could do it again I would get the most evil.

Other than the custody thing, I can't remember ever being happier. I am seeing a special lady (I have to whisper that part some people around here think its too soon and give me a little grief)and the sky is blue again.

Its good to see you back, but I hate the circumstances for you. Hang in there, maybe the no contact order will blow up all over her.