I haven't worked in almost 5 years. We have decided to separate and we are not rich. Do most people find a job before separating or wait until papers are signed?

Thanks for any info...

Starving,

I don't know what your situation is, or if this is an option for you to work or not to.

If you are going to be getting a divorce, I would think that you would be eligible to be paid alimony because you have not worked for 5 years.
If you did get a job at this point, that may play in to how much you were to get.

I'm a SAHM also, and have been for 8 years.
I did not and still have not gotten a job.
I'm at a point now, where I think a part time job would boost my esteem and give me the opportunity to meet more people.

Good luck to you.
K.

Alimony may depend on how long you've been married, not on how long it's been since you worked. I had not worked in 7 years, but did not recieve alimony because we'd only been married 12 years. I got a job immediately upon moving out, but only 30 hours a week so I could be home with my children. Child support was based on his income and mine.

I would say it all depends on what you want.

Do you want to play money games and get as much out of him as you can at any cost to him?

Or do you want to let him also try to have a life?

Mt STBXW is a stay at home mom but if she doesn't get a job, neither of us will be able to afford to survive.

WIWH

I would imagine it depends on your state and your local judge. My attorney told me to look for work (I'm a teacher) but since it's too late to really get a job not to worry. My H makes quite a bit of money. I will also get alimony because 1) I ahve not worked in 3 years, and 2) It was not in the plan for me to work for at least 4 more years.

Apparently our judge will rule that the W and kids do not have to make a drastic lifestyle change if H can afford to help out. I plan on working part-time, which I have been doing anyway, just to get me out of the house a bit. H seems to think I NEED to get a job soon but my attorney says I will be fine.

cm

Thanks for the input. We have been married 10 years and H's affair ended 2 years ago. Unfortunately we can't seem to put the pieces back together.

WIWH: Didn't your STBXW have an A? Are you only paying child support? I don't think a dependant who has an A. can get alimony in our state. And no, I do not want to suck him dry. In fact, I totally agree with Karona. I need to get out and feel independent. My thoughts are that separation will be a huge adjustment for everyone (did it once when I discovered ongoing A, but only for a month. It was so hard I had to let H. come home) and that I need 6-8 months to let the kids adjust. I understand that completing the papers is time consuming plus the emotional toil makes it hard to do a good job at the office.
Based on your advice A and CM, I decided to wait until I speak w/lawyer before working.

Am really nervous about this. H. has been telling me w/words and actions that he doesn't want to be married but now that I am ready to get the ball rolling he is hesitant.