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#776331 08/18/04 08:12 PM
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I have had a couple of religious experiences the last few weeks that has changed the way I am thinking and acting in my situation with my stbxw. It started with sermons on how to pray and how to listen for God's will and word. Soon to be followed by a sermon on being greedy and to share God's gifts. OK so now I have backed down and am willing to share everything 50 / 50 even though I put a substantial amount of inherited money into our property.

To the point. Part of the sermon on how to pray was how also to listen and recognize the word and will of God. It may come in almost any form and you have to be able to look at yourself in your loneliness and be able to look at sometimes the most common occurences in life as messages from God. One of my most often used cliches which I truely believe is "Everything Happens for a Reason".

My son needed to get a book from the library for his summer reading list. We went down together and he picked a book about climbing Mt Everest. At the time we checked out the librarian pointed out a climbing movie about two friends who had a very difficult time. Reaching the Void or Touching the Void, was the name of the movie. She explained about the most difficult situation where one had the other by a rope, couldn't see or hear each other in a blinding storm. He hung on for over an hour and started to slip off the mountain himself. She asked me what would I do ? Cut the rope and let your friend fall and save yourself to maybe help him later, or go over the edge with him and probably both end up dead. My first response was I couldn't cut the rope and live with myself knowing I would probably kill my friend.

Well we watched the movie. He cut the rope and saved himself. He thought his friend had died as he couldn't find him having fallen into a huge gourge. To make a long story short the fallen guy survived and eventually made it back to camp almost dying.

At the time I thought great story and returned the movie. This morning I was sitting with my coffee and journal and it dawned on me there was a reason the librarian had been there to offer me that movie.

I to have been holding that rope tied to my stbxw. She to is injured and hanging in space. Do I go over the edge with her or cut the rope and save myself ? The answer is obvious. I must save myself.

As I am firm believer in symbolism I went to my basement to find a rope and have a little ceremony. After searching a few minutes I spotted a rope hanging on the wall. Not just any rope. This was 2 pieces of rope about 18" long tied together with 2 square knots making a continuous loop. A more fitting symbol I couldn't have imagined myself.

I pulled my pocket knife and opened it. With tears in my eyes and sadness in my heart with one swift cut it was done. I hung the rope on the bookcase outside the room in the basement where my stbxw is sleeping now. I will never tell her what it means.

Now I must live what I have symbolicly done.

She has joined me in the room now so I must go...

David A

#776332 08/19/04 11:59 AM
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David, I truly believe things happen for a reason too. Unfortunatley, my signs are never crystal clear. It's not until way after the fact, that I understand why things happened. I pray for guidance all the time but in the meantime, am totally confused about if I am making the right choices or not. I never know if they are my choices or Gods. You know what I mean??? I hope things go well for you. Good luck.

#776333 08/22/04 05:23 PM
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HI DSD,
The signs are all around you. In everything you do, touch, see and hear. It's a matter of not letting life rush by you in such a blur that you don't take the time to focus on what else something as simple as someone suggesting a movie to watch could mean.

That one almost got by me as it didn't even dawn on me the connection to my life until I sat down and took the time to think about the events of the days past with a different eye.

I don't like the messages I'm getting as my will is to hang on. I am having a very difficult time letting go. The intelligent part of my brain is telling me it's the right thing to do, it is the will of God. My heart and emotional side is being ripped to shreds trying to do it.

Both of my kids are away for a week. My stbxw informed me she was going to take a few days off from work ( unpaid by the way ) and have herself a mini vacation. So I am sitting in the house all alone at the moment. My paid vacation ended today, back to work tomorrow. The house will be empty for several days. I thought I was getting stronger but I dread the thought of being alone for the next few days. Of course I can survive it, but it's not my choice and I'm not happy about it.

Do you keep a journal ? I find when I am in my most alone and quiet state that I can visualize the signs and the answers that come to me in every day life. You have to pick a time when you can be alone and uninterupted. I know with kids that is hard. I get up an hour earlier than I have to in the morning so I can use that time for reflection and writing.

There are many good people on this board who will give you excellent advice as they have been there and done that and can speak from some powerful experiences.

Getting through a divorce for me anyway has been the most traumatic experience of my life and continues to be so. Including the death of my mother. That had finality. There was no second chance. The hope that someday the stbxw could come back and regain her senses is what keeps me hanging on. I know it is the source of my pain and misery but I continue to have hope.

The signs and the answers will come to you. Be patient and observant. You read my story, perhaps that was a message to you as well.

Many of us are available by email and phone if you want or need to talk. Sometimes you need someone going through the same experience to talk to and lean on for support and advice. As well as your spiritual guide, counselors, and your higher power.

I feel a little better already ;-)

We are here for you and each other.

Take care,

David A

#776334 08/23/04 08:54 AM
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David A ~ This is a wonderful post you've made. Thank you for sharing part of your pilgrimage!!

God IS available!!! He is actively hearing AND answering prayers!! Here's one of my favorite Scriptures to that effect:

Heb. 4:14. Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess.
15. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin.
16. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

I would also like to strongly recommend the following site for some awesome books & tapes. Especially the book "Escape to God" is enormously helpful on how to listen to and hear the voice of God in your life. You'll never look at life the same again after this book I guarantee it!!!

https://www.empoweredlivingministries.org/Secure.htm

God be near to & speak with us all!
High Flight

#776335 08/27/04 10:07 AM
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David A - I'm glad that you feel you have received "your sign".

I too have been hanging by a thread...I haven't a clue what to do...Stay or go...Start a new life without my WH...I just keep waiting for him to wake-up and it's just not happening.

I pray that a sign or just the plain answer will come...and I will be free to show love to my WH or have the chains that hold me - release me. Something has gotta give soon - Release must come in one form or another.

If I have been given "signs" like he's not stopping, calls her not me, etc. apprently, I don't "want" to listen. Maybe I need the strength of a 2 X 4....

I need this to end...I've heard that God never gives you more than you can handle..I'm to the point in not believing this..This has been going on for well over a year..I just keep praying for a "sign".

#776336 08/27/04 03:33 PM
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Hi ItHurts,

Yes it appears I have received my sign. As I said in my earlier post it isn't what I feel in my heart. You can still move on with your life whithout giving up hope. But as you already know it is a very painful way to live.

I spoke with my stbxw last night. I have the strongest feeling in my gut that she really doesn't want to be doing what she is doing. It's like their caught up in a landslide and no matter what they do they can't stop.

Part of my marriage vows said I would stick by her in sickness and in health. I believe she is sick and I am living up to my vows and sticking by her. It's not easy and as many people have told me, I'm crazy for doing it. Maybe so, but that is how I feel.

I was married in the Catholic church even though I am not Catholic. I had to have my first marriage annuled in order for my stbxw to be able to keep attending church and receiving communion. I also had to agree to raise my children of the marriage in the Catholic faith. I have done all these things. I have been true to my word to my stbxw, the church and God.

The preist told me that it doesn't matter what the state does as far as us divorcing that I will still be married in the sight of God and the church.

Since I try to have an open mind about all things unseen and unknown I try to live my life as if there is much more to come after our physical bodies seek to exist. When that happens I believe our fate will have much to do with how we lived our mortal lives. Am I tempted to go out and seek solace in the company of another woman ? Hell yes I am. I am so lonely it's killing me. You always want what you don't have. It's human nature and I know that. An old girlfriend gave me a hug last night in the restaraunt where I was having dinner with my Dad and his friend. It was one of those long heartfelt I know what your going through and I care type hugs. I must admit it was a feeling of euphoria for a few minutes.

Sorry I wander alot. As far as the signs are concerned. They are plentiful right here on this board. God speaks through all. You have read the words on this site as have I. We can do nothing to change the minds of our spouses. They have to walk that path all alone and either see the light or remain in the darkness. We can choose according to our faith and beliefs to go on with our lives and become stronger and better people by taking care of ourselves and our children and waiting. Or we can do all these things and leave our spouses as they left us.

Will someone walk up to you and give you this answer. Nope I don't think so. It has to come from deep within your heart and your soul. Don't push for the answer. Be still and be patient. Ask many questions of yourself about all that surrounds you. The answers are there if we only could see them. We read over and over again our situations will get better. Life will go on, with us or without us.

For now I will wait. I will get divorced as I have no control to stop it. I will honor my marriage until I feel God has released me from my vows. I don't feel that yet. I know someday I will, but not yet.................

I hope you can find some peace. Those times for me are fleeting at best but they do come now and then. We are all here if you want to talk or share. Even Jesus had help to carry his cross.

David A

#776337 08/28/04 12:12 AM
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DavidA,

There is an important component to your Cutting the Rope imagery that has been missed. It is VITAL!!!

The one young man hung on for a long, long time thinking his friend would die if he cut the rope. The friend was wounded--maybe even sick--and the young man hung on and hung on and hung on. In the end, he exposed his friend to more time of exposure and cold! But when he finally did decide to cut the rope and save himself, what happened? His friend did not die! In fact, his friend was able to make it to camp because the friend was no longer tethered to young man!

You are the young man, DavidA. You hung onto your marriage for a long, long time thinking your W would die if you cut the rope. You thought your W was wounded from the A and was sick in her vision of the A-illusion. In the end, by hanging on and on, you may have exposed your W to further damage--and you certainly damaged yourself. When you finally decide to cut the rope and save yourself, what you do is set your partner free to make it to camp (return to God) IN THEIR WAY, limping and gimping along as they need to in order to return! They are no longer tethered to you, and they are completely free to be saved any way that they need to be.

DavidA, cutting the rope does NOT mean that your marriage is dead or your spouse is dead. It means that you are giving her to her own salvation, and that may not involve you. It means that you have some confidence in her to be saved! It means that you trust God will save her. And it means that you walk away from that salvation and get outta the way!


CJ

#776338 08/28/04 10:24 AM
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Hi CJ,
I didn't miss it. I did mention it earlier in another post I think. I do agree with your analogy of the situation. She tells me she is spending much time praying and waiting for the answer. I can only hope she is being honest with me. I think she has understood that I cut the rope. I told her "we" all of the families and me were here for her if she truely wanted forgiveness, and I sincerely mean that. That I allready had forgiven her no matter what.

She told me somone has something on her ( blackmail ) In the form of something she did and is holding it against her. Sounds as if her boyfriend is blackmailing her into getting a divorce. I can't think of anyone else who would have anything to gain by her getting a divorce. If anyone has any other thoughts on the subject I would be interested in hearing them as I am to close to the situation to have a clear picture.

I will give this some more thought today and try to write some more tonight. She came home this morning and we had a converstation about many things.

Good Day All,

DavidA

#776339 08/31/04 03:28 PM
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Hi David
Waiting to "get" the message is the hardest part.
My divorce has been final for two years (wow) as of today and I was still hanging on.... Until last week when ex finally confessed he has been living with another woman for 3 years. ( He lives out of state and I haven't seen him in 3 years.)(Seperated since 99) We talked and I kept him up to date on our kids and grandkids (he rarely calls the kids they don't want contact with their dad) anyway when I finally got him to admit this relationship I realized his reason for "talking" to me was not to keep abreast of his kids, but was to keep me from fileing back child support! I have been praying for help getting over him and moving on with my life and his admission finally did it.
So I have cut all ties and will continue with my life without him, forever.

#776340 09/01/04 06:45 PM
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Hi Tyra,
Well no one can say you didn't give it your all. I have seen that there is nothing I can do to change her mind. She has to many issues in her life to for anything to happen with us in the near future. So as all the kind folks here keep trying to hammer into our heads, take care of ourselves and our children and try to move on with life.

Then there is the legal and logistical issues to deal with. I have a lovely home which I put alot of sweat equity in and about a quarter million of inherited money from my Grandmother into.

Neither one of us can afford to buy each other out. We both want to live in the house until our youngest turns 18. To be honest with you it's going to be tough for me to support the place on one income as it is.

She met with her attorney today and I am waiting to see if she is going to leave or take the divorce to trial to see if the judge will let her stay in the house instead of me.

Waiting for the commucnication between the lawyers is a pain and very stressful. We still live in the same house but she refuses to tell me anything about her decesions and instead makes me get the information throught he attornies.

Such a waste of time and money because she can't bring herself to face me and inform me of her decesion. It's not because I have treated her poorly through all this either. I have barely raised my voice or used a disrespectful word to her in over 8 months.

I have been nothing but loving, kind, considerate, and supportive to her through this whole ordeal. But you know what ? I sleep pretty good at night. I have no regrets that I have done all I can do in trying to bring about a reconcilliation of our marriage. I she doesn't want to participate there is nothing more I can do.

I'm happy for you that you have felt your release and can move on. I to know that is what I am looking for eventually. But for now there is hope and healing to be done.

God Bless and good night,

David A

#776341 09/06/04 12:06 AM
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I went to a couple of church services this weekend. Stbxw is gone again all weekend. So I had some time on my hands. The kids are spending time with friends as they like to get out of here as often as they can. Even though the stbxw and I are not fighting in front of them. She is often emotional and crying about her situation and how she can't make anyone happy. Must be having trouble keeping the boyfriend satisfied.

It's been very hard for me to back off wanting some deep level of communication with her. This all started because of my taking my relationship for granted ( on my side ). Now that I have seen the light she blames me for not changing for her earlier. Like she wasn't important enough for me to do it then. I believe that as long as someone can draw a breath it is never to late for anything. All she ever says is that it's to late.
She also keeps throwing in my face the statement that my changes won't last. This is what her "friends" tell her.

Back to the point of this post. The 2 church services, Let Go, Let Go, Let Go, Let Go, Let Go, you get the point. Have faith and Let Go and God will take care of the rest. I heard this at least 50 times in 2 days. Talk about getting a message from God and knowing his will.

A very easy and simple concept but so damned hard to do. It has put me in a bad mood since yesterday and everyone around me has noticed. I guess I am driving them away from me with my somber and bitter mood. I will change my mood and try to be more upbeat and try to figure out a way to interact with mystbxw without showing any attitude.

If you haven't figured out by now most of this post is a vent. I have used up my IC benefits for the year and can't afford to pay out of pocket so I have no one to vent to anymore. I hate to vent to my family as they tire of it and it further lowers their opinion of my stbxw every time I tell them of her latest escapades.

I joined one of the on line dating services in a bout of loneliness a week ago and quit 2 days later. We all struggle with morals and convictions and now it's my turn. I figure as long as I am seeing God's will so strongly now he will let me know when it's time to develop a relationship with another person when he brings her to me. Now if I could only find the patience and a little peace and happiness in the mean time.

Thanks for listening folks

David A

#776342 09/05/04 03:34 PM
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Guys since being spiritual is being thrown in here I have to post too, as a child of God its my duty to share my testimony

Ive worked on my marriage for 6 months after God touched me, my wife and I have been seperated for a month and a half and shes not coming back.

I prayed for God to show me the truth one nite, within a week I had the OMs cell phone number, home phone number, and his sisters number.

Well a month went by(I think I went through all this for my kids)because at the custody hearing I had enough info that the wife only gets the kids every other weekend-thats it.

After the hearing she started talking to me and the first weekend she had the kids I spent time the whole weekend at her place, she told me all I wanted to hear, acted like when we were first married and so on. All my Christian friends had told me to move on. I got on my knees again and asked God what his will was and to show me her true heart. Well next day she started acting different and towards the end of the week the OM contacted me and told me that the affair was a PA not an EA which my wife insisted up to the time he confessed it.

My point is he answers prayers-I have an anger problem with all the hurt and lies and I was going in a bad direction the morning after finding out but by good friends and God's grace I am still doing his will and trying to deal with the anger.

So keep believing brothers and sisters and dont give into the attacks from the devil, if you need motivation look at the 2nd scripture in my post

#776343 09/05/04 04:19 PM
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Hi Joey,
I hope things continue to work for you the way you see the will of the Lord directing you. Early on I wasn't seeing or hearing the messages. Now I am seeing them and finding difficulty doing what it is he wants me to do. I will do it, however painful it may be or how long it takes.

Bless You.

David A

<small>[ September 05, 2004, 04:21 PM: Message edited by: David A ]</small>

#776344 09/07/04 10:23 PM
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This came to mind when I read your post....

HURRICANE WARNINGS -

What are you doing this Labor Day weekend? We live in Florida, so
we are going through a Hurricane! Winds and rain are hitting from
Miami, north up the coast toward Cape Canaveral, and then will cross
the state.

This hurricane was noticed from a far distance giving us plenty of
notice to prepare our homes, but then it slowed down, moving very
slowly over the Bahamas Islands. People have become very anxious,
wanting to have the storm pass over us quickly, so everything can get
back to normal. Don't you agree today? Do you want to get everything
back to normal and for the storms of your marriage problems to be
gone forever?

Did you know that there was a hurricane in the Bible? Paul was on a
ship, as a prisoner, that was sailing into a storm which was a
hurricane as told in Acts Chapter 27 and 28.

"Before very long, a wind of hurricane force, called the "north-
easter," swept down from the island. The ship was caught by the
storm and could not head into the wind; so we gave way to it and
were driven along...Fearing that they would run aground on the
sandbars of Syrtis, they lowered the sea anchor and let the ship
be driven along. We took such a violent battering from the storm
that the next day they began to throw the cargo overboard...When
neither sun nor stars appeared for many days and the storm
continued raging, we finally gave up all hope of being saved.
After the men had gone a long time without food, Paul stood up
before them and said: "Men, you should have taken my advice not to
sail from Crete; then you would have spared yourselves this damage
and loss. But now I urge you to keep up your courage, because not
one of you will be lost; only the ship will be destroyed. Last
night an angel of the God whose I am and whom I serve stood beside
me and said, 'Do not be afraid, Paul. You must stand trial before
Caesar; and God has graciously given you the lives of all who sail
with you.' So keep up your courage, men, for I have faith in God
that it will happen just as he told me." Acts 27:14-15,20-25

It is difficult to sit in your home with the winds and rain howling
outside. Many people have lost electricity (we lost our power for 12
hours) and the storm is moving very slowing, so all we can do now is
to stay inside and wait out the storm.

Are you tired of waiting out your storm of marriage problems? Then go
to your Heavenly Father and crawl up into His arms for His great love
and protection.

What would any of us do without God's shelter? You may recall the
great gospel song written by Dottie Rambo and Jimmie Davis, "Sheltered
in the Arms of God:"

"I feel the touch of hands so warm and tender,
They're leading me in paths that I must trod;
I'll have no fear for Jesus walks beside me,
And I'm sheltered in the arms of God.

"So let the storms rage high, and dark clouds rise,
They don't worry me,
For I'm sheltered safe within the arms of God;
He walks with me, and naught of earth can harm me,
For I'm sheltered in the arms of God.

"He walks with me and naught of earth can harm me,
For I'm sheltered in the arms of God.
Yes, I'm sheltered in the arms of God."
(Used by Permission-CCLI #1273562)

May you and I pray that this Labor Day weekend that all men of God
will labor in their pulpits, preaching the Word of God that is -

"... Living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it
penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it
judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

Pray for all men and women who have gone out into the storms of life,
leaving their spouses and children, living recklessly, showing no
concern for the consequences of the dangers of sins that they are
living in that will lead in the end to spiritual death and destruction.

Pray this weekend that many thousands of prodigals will be delivered
from the valley of death to having Jesus Christ as Lord of their life.
Nothing is too hard for your Lord to do!

God will deliver in His proper timing,
Charlyne Steinkamp
Rejoice Marriage Ministries
Post Office Box 10548
Pompano Beach, Florida 33061
http://rejoiceministries.org
http://stopdivorce.org


A Bobservation -
In your mind’s eye, picture a palm tree, standing against the
background of the beach. Do you know how the palm tree developed that
beautiful sway in its trunk? Because of a storm. God created palms
not to break, even during a hurricane. The young tree may be bent by
the strong winds, as is happening right now to some of the trees in
the back yard of our home.

Once the storm has passed, the palm tree, if not straightened, will
continue to grow upward, and with time, leaving the trunk curved.

Our marriage has a curve, as the result of a storm nineteen years ago.
Once again it grows straight, but always with the reminder of
Charlyne’s strong stand against the winds of my sin, man’s comments
and suggestions, and against Satan.

May you not "chop down the tree" just because of storm-force winds.
Hang on, stand strong, and watch your marriage once again grow
straight in the future.

- - - - -
Rejoice Marriage Ministries Bookstore - http://stopdivorce.org
- - - - -
Are you being strengthened and encouraged by "Charlyne Cares"? Join
us in proclaiming, "God Heals Hurting Marriages" by becoming a partner
with us in Rejoice Marriage Ministries. Sow seed in fertile soil and
be blessed by your Lord - http://rejoiceministries.org/ucanhelp.html
- - - - -
Listen to Rejoice Marriage Ministries three radio programs to help
keep you standing strong - http://rejoiceministries.org/radio.html
- - - - -
The best news - http://rejoiceministries.org/salvation.html
Court? - http://stopdivorce.org/index.php?viewItem=00216&viewCat=2
Add our link to your page- http://rejoiceministries.org/link2us.html
Share a praise report- http://rejoiceministries.org/testimony.html
- - - - -
Scripture quoted by permission and are from the Holy Bible; New
International Version® Copyright© 1973, 1978, 1984 by International
Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All
rights reserved.
- - - - -

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#776345 09/07/04 11:09 PM
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by David A:
<strong> I went to a couple of church services this weekend. ... The 2 church services, "Let Go, Let Go, Let Go, Let Go, Let Go," you get the point. Have faith and Let Go and God will take care of the rest. I heard this at least 50 times in 2 days. Talk about getting a message from God and knowing his will. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You know, DavidA, many people confuse "Letting Go" and "Giving Up." I do not believe God is telling you to give up--I think He's telling you to get out of the way so HE can work a mighty work in your WIFE!! In some area you are still hanging on...still trying to figure it out or control the outcome or get things the way YOU want them or in YOUR timing...and that just isn't the way God operates. God will get what HE desires and in HIS timing--and His timing is not our timing.

However, what happens so often is that friends say "Move on" and people say "Let go" but then never tell you how to do that!! How do you "LET GO"??

Step One: Admit that you, DavidA, are POWERLESS to control this. Look at that again for a minute...

Admit--that means deep down in your heart, you have to realize that you have already tried every reasonable AND unreasonable way to do something about this, and you confess, acknowledge and own up within yourself that you are the one with the problem of hanging on.

Powerless--that means that deep down in your heart, you KNOW that you have already tried everything and you fully embrace that there is NOTHING on this planet that you can do...it is out of your hands in not within your power to affect...you are helpless, incapable, and ineffective and you HAVE to give it to the ONE who is powerful, capable, and effective.

"Letting Go" does not mean that you give up on your W as a human being or your marriage--it just means that you keep your focus on your side of the road, keep yourself on the right track and doing the right things for the right reasons, and let her live by her decisions. Like you said, you'll be able to sleep at night, because you know that you are accepting the things that are out of your power to change!

Meanwhile, completely, totally and entirely give your WIFE and your marriage to God. He moves much, much slower than we do sometimes, and it can feel as if He forgot about us, but trust in Him. His timing WILL be right!! Your Wife is a dearly beloved daughter of the Almighty God, and He will not let her go, DavidA. If He loved her enough to redeem her to Himself, He just WILL NOT LET HER GO! So give the daughter back to her Father, and He will care for her even if she makes a complete and total mess! Maybe he will use her mess to call her back to Him.

Let Go. Cut the Rope.


CJ

#776346 09/08/04 07:10 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 122
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David A Offline OP
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I have in my mind and heart let go. My divorce is imminent as my court date is September 24th. She is already talking about having her name removed from our joint account. She is looking for apartments.

Oh what the heck who cares what she is doing. She is done and has one foot out the door with her new life and friends already in place. I believe she is in love with her boyfriend. It's going to be a long rocky road and I am having a very difficult time and this point as the reality of it all is hitting me full force now.

My hope is alive but my reality is like that ship. Getting bashed all about. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I should be quite the he man when this is all over.

Thanks for your input everyone,

David A

#776347 09/08/04 08:01 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 122
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David A Offline OP
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I have in my mind and heart let go. My divorce is imminent as my court date is September 24th. She is already talking about having her name removed from our joint account. She is looking for apartments.

Oh what the heck who cares what she is doing. She is done and has one foot out the door with her new life and friends already in place. I believe she is in love with her boyfriend. It's going to be a long rocky road and I am having a very difficult time and this point as the reality of it all is hitting me full force now.

My hope is alive but my reality is like that ship. Getting bashed all about. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I should be quite the he man when this is all over.

Thanks for your input everyone,

David A

#776348 09/08/04 09:16 PM
Joined: Jun 2004
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You spoke something about your W possibly being blackmailed? As if someone were holding something over her head that she would rather be divorced than have let out?
If you believe this, maybe there is some way you can let her know that any blackmail information would have zero effect on you.
Maybe she brought this up as a way to get you to inquire about it?


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