Here’s my story. I met my wife when I was 17. I was headed for the Navy and I met her two months before boot camp. We hit it off. We had such a great time together that I almost didn’t leave for boot camp but I did. She wrote to me everyday and I feel in love with her. We keep in constant contact with each other. There was one month where my phone bill was 1000 dollars. Anyway, I asked her to marry me eight months later and she accepted. We married two years later and I felt like I was in heaven. She was truly great. We got married in the summer of 1994 and she moved up with me to my duty station in Washington State. Everything was great. Life, love, and job were awesome. We decided to start a family and my daughter was born in October of 1995. A few years went by and my wife decided to get a job. I never expressed that she needed to get a job but she did anyway. I supported her. Well, she worked there for about a year and I knew something was up. I would call her work and she wasn’t there or she left early. This continued and I confronted her about it. She confessed that she had a one night stand with a young guy at work. We worked it out and I forgave her. The word divorce was not in my vocabulary. I didn’t want to lose what I thought was bliss. I was shocked and in disbelief. She showed great remorse and assured me that it was over. The wound eventually healed and we were back to our normal life. Everything was happy and smooth. She quit that job soon after, by her own free will and found another job. Well, I got out of the Navy in 2000 and moved back home to our families. I found a job, bought a house, settled down and life was good. She went back to work again and this time she worked from 4pm to 1am so we wouldn’t have to pay for child care. She worked there for about six months and I got a call after she got off work. She asked if she could go out with her co workers for some coffee. I said sure. This became a regular thing for her. She would always call and ask and I would always approve. I eventually met her coworkers and they all seemed to be really nice. Most of them were male but that didn’t bother me nor did the thought of infidelity cross my mind. But, my wife started coming home later and later. It went from, “we went out for some coffee. – to – we went back to OM’s house to watch some movies.” I grew suspicious and started a journal of events. One Saturday afternoon about two a half years ago she said that she wanted to go shopping without our daughter. She said she needed some free time. I let her go and just on a hunch I drove by the OM’s house. Well, she was there. I blew up. I immediately asked for a divorce and went straight to her parent’s house and got them involved. Well, I’m no angel either. To pass the time of loneliness I would talk on MSN messenger. I would talk to my friend’s sister every night while my wife was at work. I eventually grew feelings for this woman and she grew feelings for me. We exchanged emails as well. A few days after I caught her at the OM’s house, she found one of our emails. She accused me of cheating on her but this women lives 2000 miles away. Well, long story short we were both wrong in our actions and we went to a marriage counselor. We went for about four months and I eventually moved back in with her and been there ever since. I made her quit that job and she hasn’t worked since. It hasn’t been easy. This second time around has been much harder. We are arguing more. I don’t like her as a person. She’s not my best friend. I am not in love with her. I love her for all the great times we had in the past but I’m not happy. I haven’t been happy in a year and a half now. I show her no affection at all. None. But I give my daughter all the affection she deserves and more. I kiss my daughter good bye before I go to work but I don’t even tell my wife, “Have a good day!” She has approached me about my lack of communication several times but I just can’t help myself. I don’t like my wife. The hurt is still there. I just told my wife that I’m just in a funk and it’s not you. It’s just me. Like I said, I’m just not happy with her anymore. Well, I have confessing all my problems to my barber, a married female, for the past year. My barber and I have a cool relationship but it’s nothing more than friends. She gave me a gift certificate to the barber shop on my birthday and for sixty dollars. I took it home and my wife found it. She accused me of an affair but I assured her that nothing was going on. She called me a liar and slapped the dog piss out of me. I saw stars. She then said, “I need to know what your plans are. I need to know if you’re going to stay married to me forever, or until our daughter is out of school, or what?” I looked at her and I said, “I’m leaving.” I told her I want a divorce. We have been working on divorce negotiations ever since. We’re trying to work out the details ourselves rather than let the court decide. Well, it’s been about six weeks since I told her that. I’m still living in the house and I’m even sleeping in the same bed. There is no contact between us. I plan to move out in November and get an apartment. We’re trying to become friends through this and so far it has been working with the exception of a couple of outburst on her part. My daughter knows something is up but she doesn’t know our plans. I guess I’m just wondering if I’m making the right choice. I don’t want to be miserable anymore and I don’t want my daughter to learn that it’s okay for a husband and father to act this way. I’m sure that I don’t want to be married to my wife anymore. I think I’m making the right choice but I just want some opinions. Thoughts? Questions?
