This is my first post, so please be kind. We have been married for 21 years and have 3 children. Both of us virgins when we met. Had premarital sex, both religious, felt guilty about what we had done. So, we got married thinking we were in love. Though I feel we have had some hard times, we have done ok. Husband feels he has not had romantic love for me since beginning of marriage. He has had a couple of one night stands in the past 7yrs. He finally was fed up with current situation and moved out. Thinking that if we dated each other for a while, the love would return. However, that has not happened and he is currently dating someone else. I have begged and pleaded and given him space. Still says he doesnt love me romantically and doesnt feel that it is something that can be gotten back after all this time. I do. I told him yesterday to come and get his stuff and I was letting him go and be happy. I also sent him an article by Dr. Harley on if Romantic Love is a Realistic Goal in Therapy. He read it and sent an email saying THIS is what he has been searching for and could we discuss this further. Said that THIS gave him hope. Nothing has given him hope before, why should this be different?
My heart wants to run with that. Brain says to be leary. What should I do? How should I proceed? I want more than anything to stay married to him, but I cant live with anymore cheating or lying. He is on antidepressant meds because of all the guilt, I think, over the affairs, the years of pretending to be in love, the problems...He feels defeated. I still feel hope.
Any suggestions????
<small>[ August 26, 2004, 10:18 AM: Message edited by: katiegirl34 ]</small>
