Hello all. What do you do when your stbxh has his friend call you up and ask for a date with you or a date with you and your son?

Okay that was Sunday night. I told him that I was not ready to date but I would let him know. The reason I told him this is because I know stbxh was there with him or friend would tell stbxh what was said during call. I made out like I would go out with him later but not now. I told him that I was learning to laugh again and have fun. (Things I haven't done in a long time.)

Today, my cell rings at work. Everybody knows I'm at work. I didn't recognize the number so I looked it up on reverse lookup. It is the place where the friend works.

Now my delimma, should I return friends call, then ask him where stbxh is living or ow's new home is. And if friend ask why tell him this way I know if you really wont to go out with me or you are just getting info for stbxh.??????????????????

Got any ideas.
J

r&j-

I guess I am sitting her asking why would your stbxh's friend want to date you or you him for that matter? Is there some other connection you two have other than that he is your stbxh's friend?

Furthermore, if you know your stbxh was there doesn't that send off major red flags?

This is just my two cents, but I wouldn't touch this one with a ten foot pole.

There are plenty of other men out there. Leave your stbxh's friends alone.

Take care and God bless!
K

R&J~~

I have to say, I'm with StillR on this one.
I would stay away from the friend.

For me, with my X and his friends, I didn't feel they were people I wanted to trust as they knew what X was up to.

IMO, I wouldn't call him back (since he left no message) and I wouldn't ask about the where abouts of STBXH or OW.
Your heart will be better off not knowing.

Just my opinion!
K.

Ignore him. You have no obligation to go out with him, give him any information or even explain your decision. I would ignore stbx's friend. The whole thing is very suspicious to me.

I agree - this whole thing sounds like a 'test' by your X to see 'how you act' and really, it's NONE of his business. You did not ask his friend to call, nor did you obligate yourself to stay in touch with that 'friend'.
JHMO,
TDL

6

<small>[ January 24, 2005, 01:08 AM: Message edited by: blondblossom ]</small>

I wouldn't date (anyone) until the stbxh actually IS my exh (after the divorce is final).

I've had several opportunities to date during the separation but am waiting.

And the guys who were willing to date me before the divorce is final are disqualified IMO - not the sort of man I would want to get involved with once I do start dating.

Also, I agree with the posters who thought it was suspicious that a friend of your husband was asking you out. I wouldn't touch that either.
Maybe he just wants you to go out with his friend so he can justify his adultery? Something about it would feel sort of like a set up or wife-swapping creepiness to me.

<small>[ August 29, 2004, 06:59 AM: Message edited by: meremortal ]</small>

Oh, I thought that "stbxh" meant they are divorced...............sorry.

I then agree with the others. Don't date.

Sorry but I really didn't know that. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

take care
bb

<small>[ January 24, 2005, 01:08 AM: Message edited by: blondblossom ]</small>

Thanks for replying and the advice.

I get the picture no dates until papers are signed. That is my plan anyway but I didn't think it would hurt to talk to others on the phone. I definatley know that I would not ever go out with this friend. There are bad feelings toward him already.


blondblossom
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I'd avoid all "relationship talk" and I'd go for plainly "having fun"!!!!!!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I can't wait to have fun again. All of this emotional turmoil has taken a toil on me. I am so stressed from my marriage, work, school and home life. This is all a big change for me. I hope thise doesn't sound crazy.
J