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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 79
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 79 |
I have monitored this board for almost 4 weeks now.
Wife and I bought a new house, a week before the move, she told me of her boyfriend. The day before the move, she told me to stay at the old house (the day prior to our 7th anniversary) I tried everything. And probably the wrong way. She said she needs time to make a decision, but she still sees him and we are separated. She vacillates between telling me that she doesn't want to be married and then she will call me and tell me that she loves me, misses me and things will be ok.
She hasn't filed yet and when I asked about it, she said that she has no plans.
I tried to be understanding and respectful, but I couldn't control myself knowing what is happening and that she refuses to leave him.
So I realized that she made the short-term decision to keep seeing him and still be separated. I told her yesterday that until she ends it with him, that we should have no interaction because it is not fair to her or me. If she needs time, without pressure, and I need an answer, that seemed the most fair thing. Quite frankly I didn't feel as if I had any other choice.
Did I do the right thing?
Where do I go from here?
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,108
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,108 |
From here you go to reading all you can about plan A and plan B Read all you can about all of MB concepts and not just what is posted on these boards. No contact is a good thing but it is important that you stick to your guns. Don't make it seem like you just bluffed so she can call it. Be firm in your decission and make sure that she knows you meant what you said. Read! Read! Read! Basic Concepts What Are Plan A and Plan B? WIWH
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 8,079
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 8,079 |
You also need to make her affair public if it's not already--this way it is no longer being done in secret--in secret it's all still a fantasy--but when it's brought out to the light of day--the fantasy can come to an end--and that way she can feel the effects of what she's doing
Try posting over in the Just Found Out Board--their are many that post over there that can help--
If your going to be in Plan B--meaning No Contact stick with it as much as possible--let the OM try to meet all of her needs--in the eyes of everyone watching--
Are you members of a church? If so, get with your pastor and ask him to confront her as well--yes, it is Biblical to do so--
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