I probably should be posting under this topic, rather than "In recovery", since we are planning to split up. First it was trial separation, then divorce, and recently my H said separation again, that he wanted to reassess in 6 months. What does this mean? That he wants to fool around with OW and anyone else for 6 months and then have the option of coming back home to me and the kids? Or that I should agree that we shouldn't rush into a divorce?
Anyway, I am vacilating between Plan A, which I consider "hanging on", and letting go, which is my trying to prepare myself emotionally and practically for him moving out. He has not found a place yet (wants to be in our same subdivision so the kids can get back and forth easily). We have not begun to sort out finances. He has only told his father and one close friend that we are splitting up. The plan is for him to move Nov 1, and we tell the kids a week or two ahead of time. Its hard knowing this is coming - kind of in limbo, but we want to take the time to get things settled before he makes the actual move, so that things will be in place when we tell the kids.
I want to continue Plan A until he leaves but it is hard when I am also trying to accept the reality of this situation and prepare myself for it. So I feel like in doing the Plan A, which is not at all uncomfortable for me, it also keeps me in denial while in practice. When we are apart during the day, I have to force myself to look at the reality, the letting go. I guess this emotional roller coaster will continue until he leaves.
Another issue is that he has scheduled 4 weeks of travel between now and the move out date - one 3 week trip abroad and then another 1 week trip. He has always had to travel extensively for his job, but this is unprecidented in the length of time he will be away from home. I am not sure what is up with this - is he trying to distance himself and us from each other to make things easier on everyone, to ease into the final move out, or prolong this transition period to sort things through in his own mind while he is away? It means that in the next 7 weeks before this move out he is gone all but 3 weeks. Not alot of time to get practical things straightened out. What do you think about this situation and any advice?
