hello all. This is my first post, although I've been lurking here(MB discusssion boards) since July trying to get my courage up to jump in and meet all you incredibly brave people. I really admire your willingness to be so transparent (who said "You're only as sick as your secrets?") about what y'all are going through and so supportive yet honest you are with everyone else. I'd really appreciate any insight you have about my situation.
I met my husband at a strip club I was working in when I was 19 and he was 22. From our very first conversation, I knew he was "the one." Although I loved my job, I let him talk me into quitting and moving in with him. He claimed he wanted to take care of me, which he could easily do, because at the time he was a very succesful part owner of a business. I didn't care about the money, I just wanted to be with him. A few months later, a sherriff came to the door when he was not home with a warrant for his arrest on account of a large bad check he had written to his business partner. He fled across the state to live with his Dad, and I followed soon after. After a long boozey summer, I gave him an ultimatum: either we stopped spending all our money in bars and started saving for a place of our own, or I was going back home alone and going back to stripping. He didn't beleive me, so I left only to find out a week later that I was PREGGGGGNANT! He strung me on for 6 months before finally allowing me to move back in with him (we got our own place shortly after), and although he claimed he loved me, he rarely spoke to me, and we didn't have sex for more than a year.
Our first daughter was born the same day he lost his job, so I went to work in an entry level position when she was 3 weeks old. I'm ashamed to say I was not the best mom in the beginning. I put my entire heart and soul into my career which skyrocketed.
Fast forward 2 years later. We've been married 7 months( a kinder, gentler shotgun wedding instigated by my grandparents), I'm now running the company I started with, and I'm 9 months pregnant with daughter #2. Hubby talks me into convincing the owner to letting him fill in for me during my maternity leave. I return to work 8 weeks later to discover hubby is having an A with my protege. 3 weeks after I fired him and kicked him out, he calls from jail ( he was arrested for poss. of pot and then they discovered the old outstanding warrant) to tell me that he has accepted Jesus as his savior, wants me as his wife, and is willing to do whatever it takes to save our marriage.
So I take him back, although I'm a little creeped out by the Jesus thing. We go to church a few months later, and at the end of the sermon, I'm running down to the altar and I got radically saved and become active in the church. (Guess who's creeped out about the whole Jesus thing now?) I fell in love all over again with my husband, and start staying home with the kids (he got a great new job that made this possible.) We got pregnant with a third and he acquired an addiction to internet porn and started going to strip clubs. I filed for divorce, but never went through with it because he told me he'd rot in jail before he paid a dime of child support.
Fast forward 6 more years. We have had a 4th child, the son he always wanted, and that I foolishly beleived would finally make him happy. One day I'm paying the bills, and I notice that he's calling a Wilmington, DE cell ph # (we live in GA, he's beeen working M-F in DE since 8/03)at least 10x a day every day for at least 3 months. When I confront him, he claims it's some guy who is his bookie/ coke dealer. (I had no idea he was using or gambling) When I called, a woman answered and when I told her who I was (mike's wife), she hung up on me. I left her about 20 messages that said, "I'm not mad at you, I just want to know what's going on". She simply changed her #.

(((elocin)))

Welcome to our little corner of the world. I have to tell you that this place has definately been a life line to me during my times of trials and tribulations. There are a ton of wonderful people from all backgrounds around here, each has a lot to offer in different areas.

I see from you sig. line that you have filed. How is that going? How are your children doing? And how are you doing? Is your husband still living with y'all? Is he using? I find that statement about coke quite interesting.

Anyways, glad your here and you and your family will be in my prayers.

Hugs, Thoughts, & Prayers

Thanks, LostHusband. I filed last Friday after he told me that if I wanted any money from him that I would have to find some way to take it from him. They will attempt to have him served tomoorow night at his hotel in DE. (He lives there Sun night thru Thurs night)All of his stuff is still here. He has been coming home evry other weekend, and when he does, I let him stay in our house while I stay with family and friends from church because it's easier on the kids that way. The 3 youngest kids are doing great, because they're not close to him anyway, but my oldest daughter has been having tension headches and is having trouble sleeping. I'm a nervous wreck.

I'm not sure if he was ever using. I suspect that might have been a smokescreen to explain away all the money and time he couldn't (wouln't account for. I made him take a urine drug test before I left the kids alone with him the 1rst time after his little confession and he gladly complied with a little smirk on his face. He passed.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by elocin:
<strong> I'm a nervous wreck. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Why? Obviously one of the most important things right now is to make sure that you are taking care of yourself. A lot of the kids moods are reflections of their parents.