For those of you who have divorced, what did you do with the rings, wedding album, other gifts of love, etc.?

Regarding rings, I have heard each keeps his/her own because they were "gifts", but I'd like to have his back because it has a message of love engraved in it. If I did get it back, I could sell the wedding bands (they are a set). A friend suggested resetting the engagement ring diamond into something else (like a pendant).

My mom has my wedding dress. I plan to tell her to keep it for her granddaughters, or sell it.

What happened to your stuff? Please advise.

My H gave his wedding ring to his girlfriend to get rid of.

He gave pictures to the kids. I don't think he kept any.

I still have some things, but I don't know why.

I have kids, so I'll keep all photo albums.
I kept the rings, and plan to make my DD's diamond earrings when I get around to it.
I also kept my dress, but I don't know why.

I've kept my dress... it's just a nice formally type of off white dress with a bolero jacket. But it's also my "fat suit"... .hahaha... I've been working on losing weight, and I'm keeping that dress to remind me of how big I was. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

As for the rings... they are long gone. The xH and I had used simple gold bands. He lost his in a move onetime, and then I let him use mine (we wore the same size ring at one point). He then proceeded to lose THAT one too! GRRRR. So the rings are long gone.

The photos and memorabilia are in a box for my sons, should they want them in the future. Not all the pics are there though.. .only a few. The majority of the photos were destroyed by my ex when I left him (he's the one who had the multiple A's too). I have since asked friends and family to forward any pics they might have had taken (or just the negatives so I can get reprints), so I can remake the album for the boys. After all, they are all products of the union between their father and I. (but it still burns my butt that the x didn't think of THEM first... but then again, that's par for the course! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> )

Karen

I kept the wedding pictures that have my family in them and got rid of the pictures of his family. They never included me in their family so why would I want to look at their pictures. Needless to say they died lonely-my mil alone in a bed in the hospital/fil in a bed in the nursing home alone-and my husband was told by the nursing home that he would go at any time. He didn't bother to be with him when he died and went to Vegas instead of the buial which I saw to. A real loser.

The wedding rings I've put in a vault. One never knows what will happen in the future so they're there just in case. (one 3/4 carat diamond engagement ring but he lied and told me was a full carat plus a 3.5 carat diamond that he told me he bought from an uncle when in fact his parents stole it from his safety deposit box at his death-real winners-I can't stand to look at the thing) Just as she feels about her father, daughter wants nothing to do with any jewelry from the marriage.

It's all just stuff so to attach any value is counter productive. What's more important to me is my relationship with my daughter and my interity. Now that's precious.

<small>[ September 14, 2004, 11:17 AM: Message edited by: jph ]</small>

Over the last couple of weeks I have walked through this, so this is what I've done or plan to do:
Photos (all photos, not just wedding) we are either dividing if they have duplicates, or making copies (aren't the photo options available at Wal-Mart and similar stores now wonderful?).

Rings - I will keep both of mine - mostly for sentimental purposes. The engagement ring belonged to his mother (we were young and broke at that time) and it's beautiful, and the wedding ring has an unusual history (found in a pawn shop specializing in antique jewelry and matches other ring perfectly). I guess I'll keep them for a possible daughter-in-law... Anyway, I don't think H or his family expect it back, due to the length of our marriage and circumstances of divorce.

<small>[ September 14, 2004, 04:56 PM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

Well, we have no children, so I can't imagine who would be interested in having the stuff. The rings were bought new, so no family heirlooms there.

My ring story turned into a nightmare. I quit wearing my wedding band fairly early on. I was doing construction work at the time and it hung on a nail gun and nearly tore my finger off. I told WxW that I would get a chain and wear it on a necklace but she didn't want that. I put it away. We had a burglary and the box that it was in disappeared. WxW got me a new one for Xmas or Bday or anniversary or something. It was way too small, tight on my little finger. I put it away. We got burglarized again and it disappeared again. This time the guy got caught and I got it back. It was in WxW's jewelery box when she moved out. It was basically forgotten until this summer. Dv process was in full swing, I was going to take the kids to Disney World during my six weeks of summer visitation. I don't know why but for some reason I wanted to get my ring and take it with me and get the chain and wear it around my neck. I called WxW and asked her for it the day we were supposed to leave. I called her on her cell phone, she was making the 2 hour drive back to work after spending the weekend with OM, she said sure, give her about 30 minutes and I could go by her office and pick it up. I go to her office and she tells me she dosen't have it, it wasn't in her jewelery box and suggested a couple of places for me to look at home. I knew she was full of $h!t and blew it off. We went to Florida, had a blast. We got back a couple of days before she was to get the kids for the weekend. She came by the house and picked them up, she had just got back from OM's house and supposedly had been there for the last 2 weeks. My oldest called me that night and said that Mom's house had been broken into and wedding pictures had been dumped out by the front door and some money and jewelery was misssing. I work in law enforcement now and when he said something about wedding pictures I knew who suspect #1 would be. I knew the detective that was working the case and the next morning I was in his office. Told him what DS had said and that I wasn't going to make him come looking for me, I had nothing to do with it and to put me on the polygraph. He said that it wasn't like DS had said, more like they had picked up the box of wedding pictures, looked in it and saw what it was and dropped it. He said that there was some jewelery missing and WxW had said that there was $3,000 gone but later changed that to $2,000. I wondered who has 2 grand laying around the house?
We go to depositions her attorney asks me about the break in, I told him I had heard about it but had nothing to do with it. My attorney deposes WxW and asks her about it and she says that her jewelery box was dumped out on her bed, her engagement ring is gone and my wedding band was on top of the box! She had the same story in our Dv hearing only my ring had moved to her pillow. One of my coworkers that is better at reading people than anyone I have ever seen sat through her testimony (he described OM before I even knew there was a OM and was pretty accurate). We were at lunch a few weeks later and talking about my Dv and he says to me "You broke into her house and stole that ring." I said Bu!!$h!t!!!! put me on the polygraph. Then he said if you didn't do it, she is so evil that she did it and made it look like you did...............
I guess she still has my ring and hers is still missing.

THE RINGS, THE rings, the rings

Like Jeff, I stopped wearing mine early due to work and the chance of loosing a finger.

Several years ago I changed fields and it wasn't a threat anymore.

W and I were getting ready to go out so I decided to put my ring on for the occasion and while looking for it, I found a letter that she wrote about her feelings for OM.

Took me a while to put that ring back on but I did and kept it on till the end.

She hardly ever wore hers and always said it was because it scratched the kids when she held them(Understandable)

10 year diamond band was too loose and she didn't want to lose it.

After another 6 years of my ring never leaving my finger, she was shocked when she found it in her jewelry box next to hers. she asked me why it was there, and I said she could have it because I didn't need it anymore.(this was after 6 months seperation and her insisting on D)

?The Picture?
I don't need the pain of reliving the memories but I would make sure that they are always available to my girls.

WIWH

I've kept my Wring on my car keychain to remind me of being true to myself.
Shes kept the dress and her rings as well, but didnt want the or any photos.

I've kept all the photos, cards and letters after 14 years theres a lot of good memories. Its only a box or two - I figure when I'm stronger and recovered I could probably look at them, but I know I would regret throwing away pictures of good times.

I guess it really depends what the next wife\partner says or feels as well.

I havent really attached any monetary significance to anything, more about preserving the essence and memory of good times - no matter how much pain Im working through at the moment.

<small>[ September 15, 2004, 01:10 AM: Message edited by: Confused-NZ-Auckland ]</small>