I suddenly feel like time is so short. That my time on this beautiful earth is very short. I'm unwilling to waste any of it.

For the last year, I've been going through my own little mid-life crisis. I was 36, miserably married although recently separated, in a dead-end job where I reported to a sociopath who consistently marginalized me when he wasn't humiliating me.

Over the last year, I've searched for a new life plan. One that would allow me to make the most meaningful contribution I could. While I was searching, I painted 2/3 of the house. I planted shrubs, and I created beauty around me to the best of my ability.

Now, I'm back in school with a sketch of where I want to go. But each moment is so precious to me.

Someone at MB has said "I have the rest of my life to divorce my spouse." Interesting. My thought is "How much more of my life do I need to sacrifice to my spouse?"

I'm not in a hurry to divorce in order to date. Never have I felt less inclined toward a romantic relationship.

Oh, I don't know what I mean. I guess I'm just wondering if others wake up one morning and say "Time is short. I can't afford to waste any more of it."

I'm making no sense here at all. I know.

Put it down to a female mid-life crisis.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by greengables:
<strong> I guess I'm just wondering if others wake up one morning and say "Time is short. I can't afford to waste any more of it." </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">((GG)) you make perfect sense. Well sort of. Well not really. Actually you're quite confusing and they wander why men don't understand them. What were we talking about?

All seriousness aside, I did have such an awakening a week before I filed with was 6 days before she filed. But after all that I had a lot of crap I needed to deal with before I could get on to that whole living part. That scared me to death.

Then the events of the this year, in which I tried 'death by bridge' and survived, have lead me to a spiritual awakening like none other. I know value all the little things like solid food, being able to sit, being able to stand, being able to walk, etc. I spend almost all of my day in wonder of all the things that I have instead of wondering about all the things I want. With that outlook, I don't want to waste any of this gift given to me.

Hey Anne,

I think it makes perfect sense. We might be in different circumstances, but I know exactly what you mean. Folks always use the phrase ‘life’s too short.’ There was a bluegrass song out some years back called ‘life’s too long to live like this.’ Either way you look at it, I think it’s a healthy attitude. Our life on earth IS limited, and the decisions that we make must be made in light of that.

Sometimes, when I’ve spent too much time on the computer, or with the TV on, I say to myself ‘I would love to have that hour back.’ I wouldn’t say that I woke up one morning, and thought ‘time is short’ but I definitely am trying to use that to make good decisions about where I spend my time and energy. I don’t want to look back later with a bunch of regrets, especially regretting time I could have spent with my little boy, but wasted instead.

It’s probably forefront in your mind right now, because you’ve made some life-altering changes recently, and you are trying to create a vision for your life. I think it’s a good thing. Because making good decisions for your life really boils down to ‘what you want to do with the limited time you have.’

Martes

LH and Martes, you are both so right!

Every blessed moment is a gift from God. And, unless I'm suffering a bout of depression, I'm so happy and grateful for it, even when I'm angry, sad or hurt. Those emotions are gifts too. Gifts to use to learn.

I still haven't completely figured out how I want to live. But I know some things. I value my creativity. I vlue my children as delightful people. I value beauty. And I value being in control of my destiny.

I'm working diligently on a story for my Writing Fiction class. (Can you believe I need this class ot graduate? Thank you Sweet Briar!) Anyway, I'm want to see if I can produce stories that will sell. Wholesomeish stories that allow people to escape real life.

I hate reading about real life. I have a lot of real life. I want something else. So do most people. Look at the Fantasy, Mystery, and Romance genres.

If I can't do that, I may head back for corporate America and still try to write at night. Or I'll just sew and paint and garden and build.

I think at heart, I'm a frustrated, do-it-yourself homemaker, fix-it-upper person.

I think you make sense, unless I'm just that confused myself <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Sometimes still being married feels like I'm being held back from continuing on with me. W and I have been apart for over a year yet I am still "Married"

Now being married doesn't stand in the way of anything I want to do in my life but it does feel like I'm not completely let loose. Still feel some sense of obligation and feel like enoughs enough already. Let me get this chapter over so I can move on to the next.

Taking time to get through D doesn't have to be a sacrifice, but at the same time, who wants to be "D'ing" for any longer than necessary.

I wouldn't be surprised if I've said something along the lines of having the rest of your life to D. I know I have said similar things before, just don't know if they were to you.

But that was when I was young and foolish. Now that I'm a few months older I feel differently <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Tired of the Limbo

WIWH

I'm glad you checked in to let us know you are OK.
Contemplation is a sign of continued growth.
I think it's healthy. Life is precious and time is valuable.
Enjoy it. And check in with your friends once in a while <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Enjoy it. And check in with your friends once in a while
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">YEAH ! What she said <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />