SORRY ABOUT THE LENGTH AND SPELLING OF THIS POST[ BUT ITS MY WHOLE LIFE SO PLEASE SOMEBODY READ IT AND TRY TO HELP ME. CHEERS

This is brief story of my situation which I still dealing with I am 38yrs old and my wife is 28 yrs old. I came from a family of 6 who had nothing and my wife came from a family of 4 who gave her anything and everything she was never told the word no and was brought like a only child even though she had a sister.

Prior to my wife and I getting married for about 2 years our relationship was on and on causing my wife who was 19 years old then to loose alot of body weight and I probably made her feel insecure and not know if we were coming are going. I was a Christian at the time and my Girlfriend then became one too. we then stopped having sex. the relationship was still on /off . we did have sex twice in the last 12 month period and just prior to my then girlfriend telling me she that was pregnant. I broke off the relationship once again so called for good . I said that I didn't just want to marry her because of the baby , I said that I only have ever loved one person and that it was my Mum who had died 3 years earlier. After a Few meeting with family and church , I decided to help support my girlfriend through the pregnancy. during all this time our relationship became stronger and closer. But I still had an issue in feeling or saying I loved her I prayed to God to help me if know if I really loved her or not or was the issue all mine. Our little girl was born she was beautiful . Weeks went bye I started to feel differently about my girlfriend who by the way was staying at her parents house with the baby. One day I finally Knew it, I did love her, I don't believe that even the baby had made me change ,It was all aimed at my then girlfriend. we got married and my wife then moved out of her parents home, we purchased our own house. my wife's history is that in her teenage years she experimented with drugs and it had an bad effect on her mind and body , she had to take beta blokers for her panic attacks and suffered from depersonalisation. The first few weeks of marriage were fine, then my wife started to feel alittle over whelmed and depression came. With her leaving Her parents house ( her home for 20 years ) starting a family, getting married and a Job around the corner even though she didn't need to work it was too much for her and she suffered servere depression. We seeked help and my wife was put on anti-depressants . She became well and confident . after a few years of little part time jobs here and there , she decided to go to university to become a midwife . We didn't have loads of money but the money we did have was left in my care . my wife wasn't interested in paying bills aas longas she had her spending money. We still managed to go on holiday every year right up to this present day. one last thing before the real issue begins . When I met my wife she was nearly 19 yrs old she had been going out from the age of 14 to clubs and pubs ,her mum in her own words says "xxxxx has always been my mate more than my daughter" and aloud my wife to "live it up" so from the age of 14 to 19 my wife had live it up and done more thing than the average 25 yr old

NOW LETS BEGIN.

A few years ago my wife of 7 years, our daughter and myself went to Spain for a holiday it was brilliant for the first week then my wife started to behave distant from my daughter and me. It finally came out that she didn't want to be married anymore, and wanted to be single. When we got to the bottom of things she said that she like some of the staff working there and wanted to come and go as she pleases nothing happened and after returning to England she left me and went stay at her mothers after a few weeks I pleaded with her to come back she did and said that she was very sorry for the way that she had treated us all as a family on holiday and that she wasn't thinking right or straight. she was in her own world she said. the following year we went away again and it was brilliant a real family holiday. later on that same year she once again said that she wanted to leave that we wanted different things when I asked her she said "you want a family and family things I don't" I thought and said to her that we had already got a family a little girl of 6 years. after a week at her mothers again she came back , but said that she felt funny on her mother for coming back to me. Her mother since has said that it really hurt her seeing her daughter leave her and go back to Me (her husband) .We went away again on holiday that following Christmas and it was great arealy good family holiday since then we have been brilliant as a family it as been the best year since we met 10 years ago. My wife also this year graduates as a midwife as been talking about having more children and we have all been very focused as a family ,loving . affectionate and we have not even disagreed never mind argued at all this year. but we have just come from Turkey for a holiday. on the way there in the plane my wife was talking about " this time next year we'll have another little baby with " . the first week brilliant lovely dovey, very together family wise , going down to diner together and going to bed together as a family with a little 7 years old girl. Then the second week my wife became distant again detached from our little girl and myself , I watch her over the next few days and she was behaving like she was single and not with a family at all. I confronted her to the reply of "I don't want to be married anymore" I don't love you and I've not been happy for a long time". She also said that the way she feels about me is not the way she should feel about me. She said that she knows that she's thinking wrong and doing wrong but can't help it. To Cut a long story shorter if that's possible with me, but she went off with a Turkish man of 22. I was not around as she had told me she would be happier if I was not around her on this holiday. she left our little girl to go down to diner on her own in the hotel complex whilst she went to his room. Then later on that night our little girl fell asleep on some chairs while we waited for our bus to take us to the airport. I was waiting near the road away from the hotel and my wife and daughter , she told me that she left our little girl alone on the chairs and went again to this Turkish man leaving our daughter alone with no one watching her. She told since coming back that nothing happen they just talked but after I found an email she sent to him she confessed that they kissed both times and touch each other. I don't know if she is telling me the truth but I know that I do still love her but something inside me says it may be time to move on . if she puts her own wants before not just her husband but even her child then maybe she not the women I should try to stay with. when she turn round and said that she didn't want to be married anymore . the marriage bit was the restraining bit in her life she couldn't do what she wanted because she became a little guilty being married. Being married also has other implications Family so I believe that she didn't want a family or to be married because these things had conditions with them. Loyalty, responsibility, accountability needs of others to consider she saw family and marriage as binding ,restricting stopping her having freedom . limited choices. so she distanced herself from me and our little girl to make herself unaccountable but in reality she still was. what women, mother. wife and Christian would leave her child alone to satisfy her own lust and fix. I don't really now what to do now I try to pray but I'm all empty inside. I don't know if to try to move on or try to win her heart back as she is still thinking of going back to turkey shortly for a break and was thinking of meeting up with this guy again. one thing she did say was
she can't trust herself anymore and that it's not far on me. Also if her feelings for me were strong enough then she wouldn't have gone off with somebody else. I did though point out to her that if her feelings for our little girl were strong enough she would have not gone off with that man and left our little girl alone twice. so there you have it . she's getting her own place and it now seems that she hates me and wants to go straight for divorce. I hope we can work it out, at the moment she wants out still ,I think I want to save our marriage. I know it will take time to rebuild trust but she is worth it and I know that my love is big enough to forgive . I 'm not blinded by love and only want her back because I'M LONELY . she is the only girl I have ever wanted when I decided 7 years to that she was the one I loved ,no other women as been even in my thoughts. we have so much potential as a family God Bless everyone who's suffering a loss of any kind at the moment.

ANY ADVICE PLEASE SHE AS GONE BACK TO HER MOTHERS WITH OUR LITTLE GIRL,
The Turkish guy is out of the picture now but she has started to go out a lot and is living a single life. does plan A /B work when nobody is involved and my wife just wants to feel free to do whatever she wants as a single person. she told her friends its the best time of her life she has never felt happier. She also told me that she has no feelings for me at all left, when Iremind her of good times from even weeks ago she says it all blank and that she can't remember them.

Her mother phone me to tell me that she has told my wife to come back home (mums house) Her mums words were ," I've told xxxxx to come back home, I told her this is it this is for good. she's not coming back ,I think she'll go straight for divorce".


how do I deal with this I purchase books of the net saying "How to win your wife back when only one wants to" I've tried everything to romance her back 100 roses. love letters poems. eventried the guilt trip but nothing she's shut shop 'closed her heart to me is their anybody who's heart has been opened again.
a week later she is still very distant and has not even contacted me at all to see if I'm coping. The only contact is to pick our little girl from each other

help! should I give up and move on
[EMAIL]aonw36757@blueyonder.co.uk

Prayze, I am sorry that your life has been an emotional roller coaster. In my opinion, your W is very immature. She has no idea what she wants from her life or from you. Her mother is not helping the situation either.
If your asking if you should give up and move on or try and make it work, well in order for any relationship to work, both partners have to be willing to try. It seems that she is not willing to try and make it work, right now anyways. I am not sure if she will be willing in the future, but her past actions tell me that even if she says she does want your marriage to work, she may soon change her mind again. I do not envy your situation and I, honestly, do not know what to tell you to do, as only You can answer that question. But if I were in the same place as you with my spouse, I would think twice about putting the effort into such a one-way marriage.
best of luck to you and your daughter. This must be taking a toll on her. Please consider how she is being affected by all of this. Sometimes it is better on the child to feel loved by both parents even though they are no longer together than it is to be living in the mental anquish of a unhappy family life...Just a thought.
bye and I hope it all works out somehow for you and your daughter(notice I do not care what happens to your W?).

Prayze,

Welcome. I think before we even talk about saving your marriage, we need to talk about saving your daughter.

Does your daughter have someone to talk to? Her house has been like a revolving door, with her mother coming and going.

I don't know what a child psychotherapist would say, but my gut says that should end now. Having Mommy move out every year or two is not good. Not at all. I suggest your sue for temporary custody of your child. Evidence of your wife's upbringing and her flighty behavior in leaving a 7 year old girl alone in a hotel in Turkey should help.

I would also suggest that a psychiatric evaluation might be in order for your wife. She seems highly unstable if the picture you paint is accurate.

Plan A and later Plan B can work provided 1. There are no psychiatric issues, and 2. There are no substance abuse issues. If either of those two conditions exist, Plan A just makes the situation worse.

Good luck.

I agree completely and emphatically with everything greengables said.