I am using this post to say several very important things.

I am using this post to declare that I am breaking the contract of helplessness that I learned from my childhood. I am not helpless, I am not a child--I am a strong adult. I can trust my own judgement; I can make my own decisions; and I can change my life and myself if I decide to.

I am using this post to declare that prosperity and abundance are not out of reach. Not only that, but I am declaring that prosperity and abundance are mine to receive, and I am open to receive them. I am a child of God and He wants to give to me--and I take it now.

I am using this post to declare that I hereby break all the agreements I learned from my dad about what men are, how men treat women, what men think of sex and demand sex and expect sex as if women are just objects. Those agreements are limiting me and holding me back as a human being, and I break them.

I am using this post to declare that I hereby break all the agreements I learned from my mom about how weak and stupid and incapable I am, about how critical I have to be of myself, about my complete lack of value, about how undeserving I am of respect, and about what a woman and wife "should be." Those agreements are limiting me and holding me back as a human being, and I break them.

I am using this post to declare that I hereby break all the agreements I learned from my exH about how I am responsible for his feelings and choices, about how I am to blame for his actions, about how unloveable I am, about how a wife is supposed to lose herself in order to please her husband, and about what a wife "should be." Those agreements are limiting me and holding me back as a human being, and I break them.

I am using this post to declare that I hereby break all the agreements I learned from society and "church" about my lack of standing as a valued human being if I am not married or (gasp!) if I am divorced! I hereby break all the agreements I learned about how it's "better" to be "married" and in an unhealthy, unloving relationship than to be single. I hereby reclaim my value as someone who does not happen to be in a marriage right now.

I am using this post to declare that I DO have the courage and spinal fortitude to do what I am called to do in this life. I DO have the spirit to be brave and stand up for myself. I CAN be assertive and powerful.

I am using this post to declare that I have a voice. I am not bound by vows of silence or "be seen and not heard." I can use my story, my life, my writing, and my VOICE to speak up for myself, to speak the truth, to not hide, and to free others.

These are some statements that I just felt the need to say out loud, in public, before an audience. Thanks!


CJ

Right on, CJ, I like it!

You GO CJ!!!

An awesome and spiritual post, CJ.

I ask out of interest that with such a powerful and self affirming declaration whether you have also felt the need to forgive your dad, mom, ex, society and "church" for the lessons they taught you which you are choosing to break free from?
Have you pardoned yourself for following the agreements you are now breaking free from?

<small>[ September 21, 2004, 02:36 PM: Message edited by: amnow.ok ]</small>

CJ, that is wonderful!

I use this post as an affirmation of the wonderful person, CJ is. She is a smart, intelligent, vivacious woman, worth all the wonderful blessings bestowed upon her by her Heavenly Father - His beautiful and beloved daughter.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by amnow.ok:
<strong> I ask ... whether you have also felt the need to forgive your dad, mom, ex, society and "church" for the lessons they taught you which you are choosing to break free from?
Have you pardoned yourself for following the agreements you are now breaking free from? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Oh, these are some EXCELLENT, stellar questions! I have to honestly tell you that at first I hadn't considered forgiving my dad, mom, exH, society, and "church" for the beliefs that I held. After all, they are MY core beliefs, right? I guess I didn't see a need to forgive when there had been no offense.

HOWEVER, upon reconsidering, I have concluded that I do have some resentment because I was harmed for decades because of their dogma. My parents are pretty unhealthy individuals (dad is still an active alcoholic--case-a-day--and mom is mentally ill and refuses treatment), so I figured they did the best that they could do being as sick as they are. I didn't feel a need to forgive because I did not perceive an "offense"--but I DID resent that *I* was hurt because they were not brave enough to face their own issues.

So, what I decided to do was that I released them. I released my dad from being at the bar instead of being at home. I released my mom from expressing her mental illness through abusing me. I released my exH from being an abusive serial cheater. I released society from devaluing me because I'm not married. I released the Church from being too human to serve a BS rather than judge.

Honestly, inside of me I let it go because these are all things I can not change. But to also be honest, that does not mean I think they are forgiven or the harm that they've done is reduced. Nope, in that regard, I think each one (dad, mom, exH, society, church) will be judged by their Maker for the ways in which they were deficient, as will I. It's just not in my hands nor is it my business to be that Judge. I accept it with serenity because it can not be changed.


CJ

FaithfulNewCJ,


--So, what I decided to do was that I released them. I released my dad from being at the bar instead of being at home. I released my mom from expressing her mental illness through abusing me. I released my exH from being an abusive serial cheater. I released society from devaluing me because I'm not married. I released the Church from being too human to serve a BS rather than judge.

TR--What do you mean you 'released' them?
Wouldn't that be the same as forgiving them for their faults and short comings?

I would understand that CJ has released a lot of the resentment of the hurtful actions that impacted on her life. The understanding I would have is that all the people are who they are and do not know how to behave in a different manner, do not understand the hurt they cause and probably cannot face it. So to wait for these people to ask for forgiveness for the hurt they caused to CJ, this will very likely not happen, so to truly move forward, this is a huge jump forward.

Me,I have not got to that point with X!!!!!!!!!!! but with all others who have behaved in a manner that caused me long term hurt(Parents, siblings) yes, I have no resentments for their dysfunctional manner of doing things. X's behaviour is INTENTIONALLY emotionally abusive and CONTINUES (and will be so until the youngest moves out of my home) so I am having a much harder time with this, than with others who I do not believe had the intention to cause the hurt and harm over time.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by FaithfulNewCJ:
<strong> I am using this post to say several very important things.

I am using this post to declare that I hereby break all the agreements I learned ...... about what men are, how men treat women, what men think of sex and demand sex and expect sex as if women are just objects. Those agreements are limiting me and holding me back as a human being, and I break them.CJ </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{CJ}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Does this mean you're going to leave me wistfully sitting on that park bench forever? <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />