I am recently divorced. We sold the house, split everything. No kids. The "whys" of the whole mess are a long story..final straw for me was a "friendship" my husband has with a woman he works with. He talked about her constantly....poor Beth this and poor Beth that. Poor Beth has such an awful marriage....she brought him "gifts", - and get this - even lent him her CD's of CHRISTIAN music??? I came home unexpectedly from work one afternoon (xh works evenings, goes to school full-time)-he was on the phone-hung up immediately, said he was talking to "MOM"...I did *69, went to computer and did reverse look-up and lo and behold....it was her. That was the beginning of the end. He, of course, denied any wrong doing - and I'm sure that they were not having an affair in the traditional sense, however, in my opinion, married women do not reach out to other married men for friendship when their own marriage is in trouble. And, my hubby is no better by encouraging the friendship. I called it an affair with no sex. I filed for divorce the next day. He still doesn't get it. He will always own a piece of my heart, and we are still very close...he had dinner with me last night, I am keeping all three of our cats until he moves into his apartment-then he will take one. He and I will "cat sit" for each other when needed...get the picture. However, he still talks about Beth to me...which I am going to tell him to stop (what is WRONG with him...) my problem (after this long winded story) is that I am OBSESSED with getting him to admit the nature of his relationship with her. By the way, I did confront her the night I found them on the phone...I went to her house and asked her point blank what her relationship was w/mu husband...she said "just friends"...I said, yeah-right. You discuss your rotten marriage, your rotten sex life with my husband??? If you are such a good christian, you would be seeking counseling with your pastor, or a girlfriend...not someone else's husband! I also told her she could have him - I was filing the next day-and that she should be prepared to support him, as he hasn't worked full time in years. I keep digging at this wound in my heart over and over again. For instance, my xh now has a cell phone because he is in limbo waiting for his apartment to be ready...staying at a motel w/no phone. He SAYS a group of his co-workers chipped in and got him the phone. He gave me the number - and the first time I called I got the voice mail-a man's voice. I suspect it is one of HER husband's old phones....today I paid $50.00 for an online reverse cell phone look up....see what I mean about obsessed? HOW DO I LET GO OF THIS POISON?

You aren't going to like my answer - I see your struggle, I feel your hurt, I KNOW what is happening, and you are not going to like what you hear - but here it goes anyway:
God is reaching out to you! In a big way! It is written all over your life.
How do I know - I just logged on and only read 3 posts - each one was from you. Each time I felt the hurt that you are still carrying, and knew that you were raching out. The question is - are you going to let God in? Are you going to let him heal you?
And get this - I am not sure if this is funny, or ironic, or just a feaky little coincidence - but guess what my name it?
Beth. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
But I swear to you I am not "The Beth" you speak of! (frankly, she is giving all Beths a bad name!) I was cheering for you when you said that you confronted the OW and told her that she should not be talking about her rotten marriage, and her rotten sex life to a married man! You were right on! I'll bet your words cut right through her and really made her think. Good for you. I think it is "normal" to want to hear your Ex H finally "fess up" to what the relationship truly is - but I don't know that it will really make you feel any better.

I understand what you are going thru and as much as my situation is so different I can totally understand your thought process.

Time, prayer, and hey actively seeking a new life. I mean I ran I mean ran to get a new life going. I was married for 20 years. He cheated on me and has been a liar theif and cheat thru most of it. (only cheated on me 2 times that I know of)

I hate the ending of my old life. I love who I am. side note I am not the person he paints me to be.

He is a waste.