Hi
I am new here and needing big help on my situation i have read so many and spent quite alot of time on this website and its so sad to see what is happening in our soceity today amongst couples.
My situation is that i a have been married for 4 years. I love my husband to death... Though we are separated though we still have contact with each other. He has a girlfriend, and its killing me i have cried for days and i am trying to think for myself because this is the time for me..i tried to tell him what he is doing is wrong and that he has a loving wife to be with but he is confused and trying to be with he's girlfriend. He tried not to call but after a few days he contacts me by phone or wants to see me. I cant help say no, but this time in order for him to realise i have to say no say he can know what he might lose, and see how it feels when i am not around for he's calls.
Help me i am so confused on what to do.
Trish [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]

Trish, <p>Have you read Emotional Needs here and have you read about Plan A/B? <p>Without more info--like what reason he gives for needing another relationship, what problems you have had, what type of communications you have--it's hard to be able to give really good feedback.<p>I would think from what you are saying that he really doesn't want a divorce but he needs something that he feels he's not getting from you. Have you suggested counseling?<p>Another thing I might say is that people tend to take it very badly when we 'tell' them what they are doing wrong and how they are messing up their lives. I would suggest in future conversations that you couch this as coming from the way it makes you feel.
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> i tried to tell him what he is doing is wrong and that he has a loving wife to be with but he is confused and trying to be with he's girlfriend. <hr></blockquote>I would say instead that I loved him very much and wish that he would end the other relationship so that you could concentrate on fixing the marriage. Please try to read over the Basic Concepts again and especially Plan A/B--I feel it may be way too early for you to go Plan B-no contact...you really haven't had the opportunity to Plan A yet-- check this out<p>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html<p>and go from there.