Hi everyone, my name is Cori and I was referred to this site through a friend who thought it would help me.
My Husband, Paul, is in the Navy and deployed right now on a 6 mth deployment. We had out 1st child, a little boy, Jerron last December. I new we were having some tense times before he left, but that usually how it goes before he leaves anyways. He has been gone 3 1/2 months and his emails were normal, phone calls scarce but thats life in the military. Then last week I recieve an email along the lines of I feel like I have been lying to you out whole marriage and that I am not the man you think I am. And that he has always said he was content to stay home with me but would have enjoyed going out with his buddies some and such. I was like.. okay that was odd. Keep in mind I am here getting ready for our transfer to Nevada in Jan. The very next day, he emails more things like that and how we are so different and looking back we didnt even know each other when we got married and that he wasn't content anymore and had not been for a while but ignored it thinking it would get better. He said that he didn't think it was going to work anymore. I of course email him back asking him where all that came from and that of course we need to fight for our marriage and start again when he returned. He stood firm saying that we were just delaying the inevitable and that he had no fight left in him. He said he has been fighting for this for so long and knows it will never work. I insisted on him fighting cause we love each other and our son. But, nothing but the same song and dance from him. Then a friend of mine tells me her husband say mine walking with another woman on the pier the week before when they had been in a port. I blew it off thinking so, he knows woman. But, asked him about the situation anyways. Never accused and even said I know you would never do that. Well, he emailed back and told me her name and they were close friends and one night they weren't close friends and had sex. I was blown away. He has always thought I didn't trust him because of previous porn issues in our marraige but I did alot more than he will ever know. And I never would have believed this. He "says" she has nthing to do with this and that she has never pushed for this and he was thinking about all this before he even met her and became friends. But, his words and actions and the way he was doesn't ring true with that to me. How can you live with a fraud for that long and never suspect a thing?? I am hurt, I am crushed, and I still want to make it work. It has only been a week and he is already emailing me wanting "details" of what I want and how much money and so on. He isn't even willing to sit down and talk about this before jumping into the "d" word when he gets home in December. I am living with my parents right now while he has been deployed saving money for our move. Which will never happen now. I feel like my word has been turned upside down and just destroyed in a matter of days.
Thank you for letting me tell my story. I just don't know where to go from here....
-Cori

Cori,

I know that this is a very difficult thing for you to go through. I know that you just want someone to say it will all be OK and you want them to be right.

It's not all that easy. You need to start doing some work. You need to start now!

I'm sorry you find yourself here but the friend that turned you here did a good thing for you.

First, you need to get your post onto other forums. General Questions, Just found out< Emotional Needs.

Read all you can here to understand what MB is all about and how it can help you. I'll give you a few links!

Also, I suggest that you make sure that you mention the Millitary in your topic of you post. There are lots of people here that go through issues related to the millitary and they can do a lot to help you

Here are some links
Best to you!
WIWH

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<small>[ September 24, 2004, 10:53 PM: Message edited by: WishI WereHome ]</small>

Let me second those recommendations. Just Found Out and Emotional Needs would be great boards for you. Be sure to check out the very first thread on the EN board. It has links to lots of resources and materials.

Thank you both very much for your responses.
WIWH, Thank you very much for the links you posted. I will look at them asap. I posted in the 2 forums that you recommended. Thank You again.
Cori

Hi, Cori:

I am going to work now, so this is all I have time for. I am very curious about what you meant by this when you wrote;

"He has always thought I didn't trust him because of previous porn issues in our marraige but I did alot more than he will ever know. "

Thanks,
GB