The other day was my birthday and I’m supposed to have the kids, per agreement, even though it was her weekend. Who shows up at the school anyway? She hugs & kisses me with a ‘happy b-day!’ I take the boys out and drop them back to her place (she’s living with her dad). My oldest insists that we all cut cake together, so we do. She gives me some books she mistakenly took and I leave.

My problem: It’s been nearly 2 months since I’ve seen her (I went 'dark' the day after she moved out. The only contact is via phone & only about the kids). I went home on my b-day night alone and having to prepare for yet another Florida hurricane. This weekend has been lonely for me despite the good wishes of others. I miss her. Terribly. To see her cheery and nonplussed, with her new hair and shrine to the OM in her new home hurts. To see my sons living ½ their time in cramped conditions when they don’t have to angers me. To have my xFIL wonder why I kept the house irritates me. Finding her thoughtful birthday card in my mailbox confuses me. I don’t deny it, I still love my WxW, very much. My dreams are still of her and our family. She of course doesn’t want me. I want to forgive; she wants the OM. So in the here and now, it’s a no-go. How can I work with her as a co-parent when seeing her causes such emotional disruption?

<small>[ September 26, 2004, 11:38 AM: Message edited by: dleightonc ]</small>

Well I hope you get some answers on here. I've been contemplating the same delemma.

I understand. My ex is having the time of his life. He's totally into night clubs and women. But I have to continue a parent-parent relationship with him because of the kids. I can see that this is so hard on them and every little bit of nutrality that I can afford my ex helps them tremendously. For myself, I have decided to join a singles group at the church. I'm not looking for a date, I just need some friends to hang out with and talk to. I don't want to forget about him, but for my own sanity, I have to.