Hello,<p>First time poster here, so be gentle!
My problem is as follows.....
My W is a fence sitter when it comes to Christianity. W knows about God, and believes she has some sort of relationship w/ Jesus, but does not behave accordingly and has not been baptized. Only one of her friends are Christian, and it's one she doesn't keep in touch with often. I acknowledge that am not an exemplary model of a Christian (I goto church but don't pray and read the Bible regularly), so what I have been trying to do is introduce her to new friends at church, and engage her into discussions about God w/ my Christian friends. Ie. try to be the gardener, nurture growth thru the right environment.......<p>Now she tells me that she is talking to my christian friends only because she thought it would make me happy.<p>Lately, she has been trying to get me to interact with her friends more. I feel I have nothing in common with her friends. I've tried having conversations with them before, but they don't seem to have any interest in engaging in any conversation that I can relate to. And so naturally, I'm inclined to interact with them less and less.<p>And then it occured to me that she may be going thru the exact same situation with my christian friends.<p>Neither of us seem to be too interested in the other's group of friends, and of course, Neither of us are willing to give up our group of friends.<p>And on top of that, one of her friends is getting married, and she is a bridesmaid in her friend's wedding, which naturally means that I have to interact more with her group of friends, while she obviously won't have the same amt. of time for my group of friends 'cuz she's buzy w/ wedding preps.
Wait, it gets even better, she has already agreed to be bridesmaid for another one of her friend's upcoming wedding, which means more time with her friends, and less time with my friends.<p>This is starting to annoy me.<p>Help!<p>Thx.
Cheers,
Al

Al,<p>I do understand your feelings because I have had them myself for my W, my children, my mom, and lots of other people. At the same time, you need to understand something that you aren't really taught in church. You aren't responsible for your W's salvation and you can't demand that she commit. While I personally believe that Christianity is the end-all truth, I have no amount of proof to convince someone else. While there is compelling evidence for Christianity, there is no straight up proof. <p>Your W has every right in the world to attend her friends' weddings.<p>Pushing will only alienate your W.

Al, buddy, <p>When spt_fl, speaks, you need to listen. He don't say much but what he says are little pearls of wisdom.<p>Re-read that post up there. spt is right on the money.

Thank you both for your replies and insight.<p>I do not believe I have made any demands for her to commit to Christianity. I fully understand that the choice is hers, and I would actually prefer it that way, otherwise she would resent me for forcing her into something she did not choose of her own free will. In fact, I'm pretty serious in trying not to violate her right to choose.<p>My concern is this tit-for-tat stalemate whenever I try to get her to hang out with my friends more, or when she tries to get me to hang out with her friends more.
Neither of us wants to give up our group of friends, and I feel that this could lead to separate lives and alienate our relationship.<p>The obvious solution is for me to give in, and interact with her friends more often than mine, but it would make me feel unhappy.<p>Is there another way to view this so that the stalemate can be broken?<p>
Thx.
Cheers,
Al