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#777712 09/27/04 04:08 PM
Joined: Sep 2003
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Anyone familiar with this book? Apparantly the author was on Oprah the other day. I didn't see the show - but my SIL called to tell me all about it, and she insisted that I need to read the book.
I am just curious if anyone has read it, and how much they agree with it. I should be getting my copy this week, so I certainly am not in a position to talk about it too much, except that some of the things my SIL said about it do not match what I beleive in regards to dating when you are over 40, divorced, and have children to raise.
My SIL says that I need to find a guy who wants to drop everything to call me, or see me, no matter what. She says that when I meet "the one" I will know right away. I say that I need to be with a man who puts his kids first. Someone who wants to be with me, but at the same time he wants to treasure time with his children. That way, this same man will be more understanding of me when I have obligations with my kids. Someone who will grow with me.
Any opinions?
I should add that the author is not a relationship expert - he is a comedian. And my SIL who insists that this is the perfect book for me - she has very little dating experince herself. Has been married 20 plus years to her high school BF.

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Hey, I knew on the second date, my h. was "the one." 12 months later we were married. 6 months after that I saw problems, and it was all down hill.

I think S.O. should come after kids. Actually any one who drops everything at a moment's notice is really doing it for his/her own sake because they want to be with you. Now, if they put off their kids or let down their kids to do something with you, what does that say about them?

It may say they are way into you, but it also says they are way into themselves and their own gratification, and they're not particularly responsible.

These are not qualities I'll be looking for in a boyfriend.

JMHO.

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WomanOfFaith5 sagely said:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I say that I need to be with a man who puts his kids first. Someone who wants to be with me, but at the same time he wants to treasure time with his children. That way, this same man will be more understanding of me when I have obligations with my kids. Someone who will grow with me. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Greengables wisely worded:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">These are not qualities I'll be looking for in a boyfriend. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My suggestion would be that you know what you want from a man better than anyone else knows. For some people it's important to have a spouse who's ready to "drop everything at a moment's notice." For others, it's more important to have a spouse who is more practical and will say, "I will get fired if I leave now, how important is it?"

It's okay if you are one or the other. It's most important for you to figure out which one appeals to you most, and fits in with how *you* see your marriage going. As far as the book... Atleast it will be a tool to help you figure out what you really want. Make notes on where you agree and where you disagree with the book.


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