I simply have to tell you this:
Came from work and found his message, the first one after Sat.
Says - I wish I were dead if it is not for our son. I feel so sorry she came, UNINVITED, I am depressed, God must cursed me, I know you were hurt and I wish I'd do anything that that Sat. evening never happened.
I didn't answer.
2 hours ago he called and we talked for about one hour.
He did tried to be honest. And - it was the first time he wanted to talk about her AT ALL!!!
Among other things, he says:
' I told OW you hate her and don't want me to even talk to her anymore, and I told her she should understand that we are the parents and for next 20 years we have to talk about our son'.
I say: 'You didn't tell her you love me? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
By the way, please correct that word when talking to her or to anyone else: I do NOT hate her, I feel FULL DESPISE, and that's quite different feeling' <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
He says: 'No, for I don't know what I really feel for you, I just know I cannot be happy without you.'
I say: 'Well, we both know you don't love me, but why didn't you tell her you were telling me you loved me and want to reconcile?' (haha)
He says: 'I don't speak about so private things to her.' (LOL)
Also, OW told him he should not contact me AT ALL, it's over.
I told him - 'don't you see, it means be free for myself!'
He says: 'You think so?'
I say: 'I know so. Don't be silly, go for her, if she were worth of ruining your family, don't lose her NOW.' (evil smilie here;-)
He says: 'But I never wanted her to be with me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> She was not reason we split, we had our problems even if she never existed.'
I say: 'I know that - You wanted her just for sex, boost, excitement screwing behind my back?
And, don't think she MADE us D BUT she contributed a big time to that!'
He says: 'It's the best for our son to live with both parents. I'm ready to cut of my p*ick <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> and give it to you and never look at another woman just to be with you and our son.'
I say: 'So, why did she come at all if uninvited?'
He says: "I wasn't answering her messages and she came to ask me to stay friends and talk at least every second week, and if I need something and when sick she'd come as a friend and help me.' (cool:-))
I say: ' Nice, so when you are sick you won't have to call me to make you soup or take you to emergency...' <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
He says: 'No, I am not going to call her any more, I don't answer for I'm polite and civilized person <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> and she'll get the message in a while.'
I say: 'I don't think it's fair, you give her still hope and hurt her too.'
He says: 'I don't give a s*it if she's hurt, it is not my fault.'
I say: 'You are right here, she hurt innocent people and she's naive if thinking she won't be hurt too.' ;-)
He says:' I hurt you too, am I going to be punished too?'
I says: 'No, you are not going to be punished, poor darling, you already are.' <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
Then, he begged me to have a diner together (I said - be sure she won't come uninvited, I don't want her to burst out of jealousy (LOL) and he said I could ask him anything and he'd answer everything with total honesty (YEAH, RIGHT!)
We hung up and after 10 minutes he called and said:
'Please don't answer anything, I have to tell you something and go t bed - I love you, I do love you, only you and forever!'
Than he hung up.
The thrill is gone... was a very expensive one...
I'm still calm, I'm still fine, and - I'm very alive. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
<small>[ October 05, 2004, 10:30 PM: Message edited by: Belonging to Nowhere ]</small>
