I was reading LL's thread and posted a long reply which was lost when I went to post. Guess God didn't want that said!

Anyhow, here's what's up in my life. I went ahead and signed the papers. I figured that I needed the freedom to choose her or walk away. She didn't take it well but said afterwards that she would consider a relationship. We've had some good times together and our kids are definitely happy to see us talking.

Soooo
Last night, we hung out as a family and she commented when I was leaving that she needed to get homework done (she is going back to college). I go home and get on my PC. Long story, but ex has an ad on a Christian personal web site. She says that she is just making friends but not looking for a guy. I get a free trial and log in last night and find her ad. Guess who's online? ex She's online for 90 minutes! The web site tells you what they are doing and sure enough, she was searching ads and reading profiles along with emailing people.

I don't want to read too much into this but it comes down to this for me: I want someone who is going to foresake all others for me, even when it is hard. When I agreed to consider working on my relationship with my ex, I immediately broke off with the woman I had been seeing. It was heart breaking but I knew I owed it to myself and my ex to not have two women at once. My ex views this differently and finds nothing wrong with having lots of male relationships and even "casual" dating.

I'm just not going to get my heart involved in this again. I have no idea how I will tell her I'm done but I've got to do it. She is just going to keep disappointing me. I don't care whether what she is doing is "right" or "wrong", it just hurts and to me, it indicates an insincerity to work on our relationship.

Anyhow, I'd appreciate your prayers. I know God can do miracles but this one just feels all wrong.

DWAD