I need some advice but first some history.

*Wife has affair summer of 2002
*Spent a year and a half trying to put marriage back together and figure out how to forgive her.
*moved out 7 months ago
*I went on a few dates and wife got back with other man for a few months
*One month ago, we decided to try and work on our marriage and try to fix the problems.
*I spent much of my seven months away growing as a person, learning from my mistakes and searching for what I wanted out of the future. Wife admits that she didn't use the time wisely and has not worked on herself and grown.

My wife told me last week that she knows she loves me and that I am her best friend but she is not sure what she wants. She has moved into a area that she has met many divorced women who are giving her "advice" and she is going out with them all the time. She tells me that she may want to date other people as well as date me too.

I went to see our marriage conselor yesterday and he said that she feels that I am putting too much pressure on her and that I should just let her do what she wants to do. He told me that it is okay for her to go out and date because at some point she will figure out whether she wants the relationship or not. He told me not to date unless I went out on dates with her. So I communicated this to my wife where there are no strings attached and she is free to do whatever she wants. (Over the last month we agreed to see nobody else) I told her that I did not endorse her dating other guys but she was free to do whatever. Basically, as my conselor describes this as a test. Will she make "big girl" decisions or will she make "little immature girl" descisions. I'm assuming it is like giving her a long rope and see if she hangs herself with it.

So I'm sitting her now thinking how she has her cake and is going to eat it too. She will have her husband to use as she pleases and then she will have the ability to date which really concerns me. She is a immature 35 yr old who loves attention in any form and I see her as easy prey for guys. I'm pretty frustrated by all of this but my conselor has never lead me wrong.

Any ideas or suggestion would be appreciated...

Me 35
Her 35
Two kids: 5 & 3
Years together: 15
Affair: summer 2002 At least the one I know about